I Read - The Glass Castle

I had heard from a few friends that The Glass Castle was the hot new book to read, and it made Bon's Summer Reading List, so once I finished my latest book binge (Gillian Flynn's other two books - Dark Places and Sharp Objects, then The Dinner which came recommended based on my love for Gone Girl) I decided to go for it. I put it on hold last week at the library, expecting to get it in a few weeks. To my excitement BAM it was ready for pickup on Monday!

I finished it yesterday, which is relatively fast for me, considering I wasn't able to read at all on Thursday or Friday. The book was just so fluid and paced, and the stories so short it was easy to say "Ok, one more... But really, just one more... Ok seriously this is my last one..." the same way I do with those short little 22 minute Office episodes on Netflix. I'm a chain watcher, a chain reader.

I don't know if it's that I'm getting old and soft, or that being a teacher puts me in a more responsible, adult role, but I found myself relating more to Jeannette's nurses, teachers, employers and any of the other small, SMALL handful of emotionally stable, mentally healthy adults in the book. Therefore I was incredibly angry and so protective throughout the entire book. And the teacher in me kept thinking - "Wow. These kids are brilliant. I hope I'd be able to see that as their teacher. I wonder if any of my kids have experiences like this."

The Beard kept telling me to stop reading this book, because I'd be sprawled on the couch next to him reading silently one minute, then jerking upright to exclaim "Noooooo!" "Groooooooooosssss ewewewew!" or "HOW FREAKING DARE YOU YOU ARE THE WORST HUMAN BEING ON PLANET EARTH!"

But I told him to zip it. Because I was sometimes chuckling aloud. I was sometimes tearing up at the camaraderie and loyalty of these bright children. I was cheering them on as they excelled in school or successfully fixed a problem like their rock catapult or homemade braces.

The thing that made me the most sad, though, wasn't their hunger, filthiness, injuries, embarrassment, abuse... although those did a mighty fine job of making me equal parts angry and depressed.

The saddest thing was watching Jeannette's changing view of her father. The early chapters of the book are full of Jeannette as her father's best friend and even partner-in-crime. She KNOWS without a doubt that he can do anything. He's gonna build that Glass Castle. He's gonna finish The Prospector. He's gonna quit drinking. Venus is hers.

As you get to know him, you realize more and more how worthless he is, and you hope she'll realize too. You find yourself siding with Lori when she says "Why do you always have to encourage him?!" Come on, Jeannette. See what a selfish, socially-delusional drunk your hero dad is. Stop trusting him. Stop putting your faith where it'll just be continually falling out of the backseat of the car onto some railroad tracks.

But then she does see it. And then you feel so bad. I think everyone goes through this with their parents and adults they trust. You grow up thinking these people are all the things they say they are and all the things they want to be. As you get older and, more importantly, wiser, you see them say or do things inconsistent with your view of them. You see them fail. You hear people criticize them. You watch them fill up the Glass Castle foundation with garbage.

I guess the reason this was so traumatic to me was because it really was all they had. All she had was her faith in her father. Brian and Lori lost that faith long before her, so she clung to it all the more desperately. She finally lets go, I think, when she calls his bluff and makes him give her the belt. Their relationship is never the same.

Once she really leaves Welch and her nomadic life behind, once she no longer feels she is under their irresponsible spell, it comes full circle where she loves and pities them again. She knows her dad was never the hero she thought, but she finally accepts him for who he is - her alcoholic, pool-hustling, loving, dream-supporting dad. And that's when I finally realized - "I judge people like Rex Walls all the time, but somewhere they've got a Jeannette that still sees the good that is definitely in them, regardless of their laziness or poor choices."

This book largely influenced my recent blog post about awareness regarding my students. So many people judged and even hurt the Walls family. So many teachers, adults, friends, neighbors, employers just went on with their lives, not knowing these kids were rooting sandwiches out of the trash, reading leagues above their grade level, dragging their mom out of bed in the mornings to make her go to work so the could eat.

Am I the teacher who puts those kids in Special Education classes and patronizes them for their parent's mistakes? Or am I the teacher who puts them in charge of the school newspaper and encourages them to aim higher?

Are you the neighbors who fight to have them evicted? Or are you the people who pay them to babysit and buy them bus tickets to New York?

This book left me with a humbling awareness of my lack of awareness. And a commitment to notice more, to help more, to encourage more. I want to believe there aren't Jeannette Walls out there, but you know what? There are. Maybe even at my own school. And I want to do whatever I can to help them become the adult Jeannette Walls of today, rather than perpetuating the Rex and Mary stereotype.

I recommend this book to anyone and everyone. It's insane and infuriating and poignant and inspiring. It makes you believe in agency, in gumption, in hard work and, surprisingly, love.

If you've read it - let's talk! If you haven't, read it and THEN let's talk. Or we can just talk regardless. I just like to talk.

Book Review/Pizza Night: Batting for the Other Team (Yikes)

Yesterday we went to our first book club meeting (missing the first one due to weather... booooo) and it was so great. I mentioned that I want to join 4 more book clubs and the Beard said, very wisely,

"Book clubs are to you what fantasy baseball is to me!"

And you know what? He's right. So anyone else that wants to start a book club with me - please let's? Email me. I'm totally down.

We read "The Art of Fielding" by Chad Harbach. It's a book about the intertwining lives of various characters at a small university in the midwest - including/surrounding the university's baseball team. I had high hopes when I began the book - it was all about this amazing shortstop Henry Skrimshander. The book is so fun for the first couple hundred pages! But, alas, it cannot last. Tragedy strikes and all of their lives fall into disarray. Heartbreak, death, loneliness, anxiety, depression, and terrible conduct ensues.

You can imagine the Beard's reaction when I tricked him into reading the book "It's about baseball!" only to have the baseball emphasis dwindle and the gay love affair emphasis swell about 200 pages in. Lolzies. Ryan is a homophobe, for all you new readers out there. Also, Ryan is obsessed with baseball and takes it INCREDIBLY SERIOUSLY. So to have his baseball paradise infiltrated with a gay love story - it was kind of the perfect storm.

At dinner we concluded that the story was good and the characters were interesting, but so many sections of the book were just wildly unrealistic and almost designated to become a screenplay. Overall, I would give the book a 7/10. I loved the baseball, the team esprit-de-corps, even the love stories before they fall apart. But the pain and guilt and trauma was too real, too long and too unsatisfying. Try it if you are interested in baseball, gay relationships, the internal personal struggle, or Moby Dick (a huge theme/inspiration in the book).

By far the best part of the book was discussing it at Pizzeria Limone - wow. We've heard great things but man, were we impressed. I got the Viola - a delicious pizza including proscuitto and blackberries. BLACKBERRIES!

We took the Trax because we take the Trax literally anytime we are able because we're obsessed with it. Can't wait until the Draper station opens up in August because it's seriously 3 minutes from our house. Yahtzee.

 

Shirt: AE, Skirt: Banana Republic, Boots: Forever Young, Bag: Coach, Coat: Old Navy

 

On the train home, while we were still in downtown SLC two kids climbed onto the train. They were probably about 13 or 14 and were very rowdy. The Beard was convinced they were high, although when I deny things like that I have to accept that I have never been good at noticing those things. They were bugging passengers, giggling furiously, swearing, and just generally being teen messes.

It was after 9 pm. On a Monday night. Downtown SLC. These boys were just riding the Trax around for fun, according to their conversation. And everyone just rolled their eyes at these little punks.

But I couldn't. It hit me in the heart. These were just like so many of my students. And they WERE freaking annoying. But what is your life like if riding around on Trax at 9 pm on Monday nights in downtown semi-sketchy SLC is better than being home? I just felt so responsible and sad for them.

You can take Danica out of her classroom, but I guess you can't take the classroom out of Danica.

Make good choices, sketchy Trax boys! Somewhere a random History teacher is thinking about you in a non-creepy way!

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You: Your Life

We were recently invited to join a book club by our chic friend Cambri Christensen Visser. I was completely and totally psyched. I love to read and I never know WHAT to read. Goodreads is great and I like to use it for inspiration. But almost more than reading the books, I love TALKING about books. When I read Gone Girl over fall break I was dying to talk to someone, anyone about it and none of my friends had read it. Pure hell.

So a book club is the best scenario of all time. Books. Friends. Discussion. Food. Yahtzee. I'm looking to get involved in a few more. Message me if you're interested. Srsly.

The book we chose for our first round was "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. He is a memoir-humor-lifestyle-self help-religion-grab bag writer. I have his signature name-making book "Blue Like Jazz" on hold for pickup at the library and I can't wait to grab it tomorrow and begin devouring it like this one.

It is, in a word, inspirhilariawesome. Because I couldn't use just one word to describe it. Especially for a somewhat rootless, disillusioned, bored 20-something, it just hit me right in the heart. Not with fear, shock or even poignancy, but with simple truth.

The premise of the book is that Donald Miller is spinning his wheels, bored in the lull after the success of "Blue Like Jazz." Some filmmakers approach him out of the blue and want to make a movie about his life/memoir. Suddenly, Miller is faced with the amazing opportunity to deeply examine and even rewrite his own life. The lessons he learns along the way are amazing and so completely applicable to our lives.

The main theme is that we are all living "stories." He begins seeing himself as a character while trying to write his life script, and sees that its probably the way God sees us in the stories where He places us. We have a lot of control in our stories, but He is there, whispering in our ears the elements to make our story better if we will just listen to him.

Story elements apply to our lives. Quotable bits like "When we live a story we are telling the people around us what we think is important" and "if the character hasn't changed, the story isn't over yet" really made me think about my life as a story that I want to spice up. Good characters face trials and challenges, have to do some good to be likable, and always come out on top in the end. Eventually.

Another big theme was the idea that WE have to make our story readable. Tellable. Interesting. Miller realizes when the filmmakers try to make up parts of his story that his true story isn't interesting enough for the screen.

Is mine? Is yours? If a filmmaker sat down with you to make a movie of your life, would it make a good movie? Probably not. Sorry. No offense. Mine would be super boring too. I spend far too much time on the couch watching The Office and reading fashion blog/magazines to make my life interesting.

At that point, Miller does a number of things to make his life a good "story." He tries to find his estranged father. He hikes to Macchu Picchu in Peru. He bikes across the United States. It's not easy. He has an incredibly difficult, even painful time. But he knows that it's the right thing to do and he learns that pain wins you things. Like experience. Knowledge. And scenes.

The most visual, personally applicable part was his description of scenes. Great movies, great stories, have great scenes. Think of an action hero walking calmly away from an expanding explosion. A romantic kiss in the rain. A meditating character at sunset. Think of your favorite movie and you're sure to recall a "scene."

Now think of your favorite memories in life. Likely they are "scenes" as well. They don't often come reading on the couch, Danica. Miller notes that many of his favorite scenes happen in the outdoors while DOING things. Point taken. I'll get out and DO more. But maybe not till this snow melts in the spring...

What I walked away with, was that my life can be an incredible story. You just need to be willing to accept an "inciting incident." Accept pain. Accept challenge. Get out of your box, so to speak. Do good things that will make you the type of character viewer/readers want to root for. Make memorable scenes. Listen to your screenwriter, God, whispering your cue in the corner of your ear. Live like a documentary crew is following you around, day in and day out.

Live your life like it's a story that you'd want to pay $8.50 and a bucket of popcorn for.

Start by reading this book.

Then email me so we can talk more about it.