As Dry as the Books to Which I so Desperately Cling

Bonus points to anyone who can name that movie/book.

My skin is dry. Incidentally, I also love books so it was kind of perfect.

As it is warming up and I'm kind of sick of boots and leggings (I'll never REALLY be sick of leggings. Come on.), I decided it's time to take care of this wrinkled, fading, scaly skin/nails/hair of mine.

This week at the grocery store I impulsively bought the Garnier-Fructis Moroccan Oil because it was tiny and on sale and I'd spent every in-between moment at school picking at my dreadfully straw-like split ends. I'm the Tiger Woods of impulse buys - really good and no listening to my conscience. (zing!)

I'm sold. Seriously. I shampooed and conditioned my hair normally, then wrung it out and applied about 2 teaspoons into my damp locks, combing it through with my fingers and then wrapping it up in a towel for a few minutes.

Effects: My hair is pretty straight, so I can't speak to it's relaxing powers, but my hair dried silky soft and there is noticeably less damage on the lower third of my strands. I accidentally deposited too much on one part of my scalp (I was trying to concentrate on the bottom half, but failed) so it was slightly greasy - but one blast of my brand new Paul Mitchell Dry Shampoo solved that it under 5 seconds. Yahtzee.

The week before, I was wearing a tee shirt and looked down at my normally dry/scaly forearms to see DANDRUFF. Well, not dandruff. But my skin was literally flaking off. It was disgusting.

Enter Skin Milk. Purchased at our fancy local Smith's (super cheap), this body cream is thick, creamy and plain. With a slight vanilla smell and the real milk proteins, it made my skin feel (and smell) heavenly pretty much instantly. I  spread it on generously while my skin is still damp from the shower to lock in moisture. My skin has much more life and feels less like an alligator. The Beard approves. Glen wants to lick it because he thinks it's frosting.

As for my peeling, dry, hangnail prone fingertips - it's all about the cuticle oil and cutting down on harsh nail polish removers. I try to only use nail polish remover about every 2 weeks, giving my nail beds a few days to chill before very carefully polishing them so the color will last and not chip. Every couple of days I dot a drop of Orly cuticle oil or cuticle lotion on my beds and trim off any dead skin.

If you get peeling nails or lots of dead skin hang nails along your nail beds this is a necessity.

On a semi-related note:

Do not get L'Oreal Sublime Bronze self-tanner. Don't do it. It might be on sale. You might think "Wow. L'Oreal is a pretty good brand. This is probably a step up from my Jergens standby. I'll give it a try. Only $4, so it can't hurt, right?"

Wrong. It can. It can make you look like you have hickies and also got attacked by an army of cinnamon-sugar toast. I really was trying to be careful too. (It looked worse in person. Trust me.)

The Jamba Juice girl made me realize what my students were whispering about. It wasn't Justin Bieber. It was my "hickies." Yikes.

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Sometimes, Always, Never - Summer Face

I'm a firm believer in changing your makeup with the seasons. My skin tans very easily, and I'm also super anemic. That means I can look Latin in the summertime and Helena Bonham-Carter in the wintertime. I have 3 foundations that I rotate through and varying shades of eyeshadows for the seasons. Summertime is my biggest adjustment to my daily routine, and it's a lovely adjustment because it means LESS.

SOMETIMES

Makeup trends like bold lipstick or a smoky eye are awesome. But be careful, and adjust. It's far too sticky to rock this during the day, so stick to fun concerts and night events for your statement makeup.

Instead of a gray or black smoky eye, try green or blue. Think mermaid.

Instead of a bright red or wine lip, try a hot pink, or my personal favorite - a sunny coral.

ALWAYS

Sunscreen. Your mom was right. It's good for you. I still don't wear it on my body like I should, but I've been establishing a good habit of layering a sunscreen with moisturizer under my makeup, or using Mary Kay's tinted moisturizer with sunscreen on its own. Try Aveeno Daily Moisturizer, especially if you've got dry skin like me. It's easy to make your own tinted moisturizer by mixing it with your favorite foundation on the back of your hand and then brushing it on. You'll feel like a bona fide makeup artist.

Creme Blush. This will play up your tan just right, without caking like a powder. I like Maybelline Dream Mousse blush in Rose Petal.

Lip Balm. Duh. Get yourself a nice stick of Burt's Bees.

Exfoliate. St. Ives Apricot Scrub is a miracle product. It removes dead, dry skin and just makes you glow.

NEVER

Liquid eyeliner needs to hibernate until sweating and swimming aren't daily possibilities.

Thick foundation or powders. Switch to a light tinted moisturizer that won't cake or look weirdly matte. Your skin will thank you.

Any foundation, powder or cream that does not match your current skin tone. I think this is Paris Hilton. It's hard to be sure with all the bronzer and the fact that it isn't 2004.