My Butt is on Instagram

Over the past several weeks I've had quite a few former students come to see me and I've been able to find out some interesting information. I have summarized this information as such:

• The 9th grade boys who couldn't wait to get out of the "stupid" middle school and into the real world quickly realized how insignificant a high school boy can be
• The 8th grade kids who complained all last year about how much reading and work I gave them all came back to tell me how easy my class was compared to 9th grade. Last laugh.
• My gifted penis artist from last year is now incarcerated on a variety of offenses, but vandalism wasn't one of them, surprisingly
• One of my girls stayed almost an hour after school telling me about how her and her best friend got in a huge fight about her friend starting to do drugs and now they don't talk.
• One of our punk 9th graders from last year is counting down the days until he can drop out
• A bunch of my boys from last year smoke copious amounts of pot. COPIOUS AMOUNTS. 
• One of my girls from last year who really struggled came down to tell me she's getting an A in Geography this year so far and plans to get an A all year! Awesome!
• One of the boys from last year used to take pictures of me during class, especially when I'd bend over. Allegedly there are photos on Instagram, although I can't confirm that.
• One of my girls told me her parents went through an ugly divorce and now her dad yells at her every night about how much she costs to raise.
• One shy girl, a girl very under-my-radar, at parent teacher conferences said "I brought my mom to meet you because you're my favorite teacher!" Blindsided me in a good and guilty way.

Sometimes I forget with all the extreme perfume/cologne, laziness and cartoon genitalia, that these kids actually do have tough lives. Middle school isn't easy, and neither is figuring out who you are on this crazy planet. Bullying is real. Drugs are dangerous. School is hard. Families can suck.

180 days seems like such a long time. But I already look back at my kids from last year and think "That went by so fast. I had almost no time with you." I'm in this weird position where I love these kids so much, but I only see them for 45 minutes and its 90% academic & behavior. BUT I care so much about their social and emotional well-being and futures. BUT I have no control over it and very little influence on it during the times I see them.

Seeing these old students and recognizing that A. The year flies by. and B. Their lives are so much more than just school, helps give me much needed perspective on what it means to be a teacher and what's really important.

Is the world gonna end if they don't know who Nathaniel Bacon is? No.

But it might if they feel like no one loves or respects them. If they feel like no one believes in them and wants them to succeed.

It's important to me that these kids feel love and respect every day. It's important that they know they can succeed. And it's important that they know finishing high school without doing drugs is walking through a door that will lead to happiness. 

It's also important to me that no more students snap pics of my backside, so I'm increasingly vigilant this year. Snapchatters beware. 

Aptitude Test = 1, Danica = 0

Yesterday my kids took the EXPLORE test, which is basically a pre-ACT with an aptitude section. When they get the results next week they'll get an overall score, individual test scores (science, math, English and reading) and they'll also get a chart showing which career sets they are most interested in and how their scores should line up with that.

The idea is to get them thinking about the future and preparing to make educational adjustments. For example: a kid may realize through the aptitude test that he fell into the science category ("I'd like to go to a science museum." "I like seeing how things work." "I'm interested in nature." etc.), and then it will show him that A. His scores are looking good and to keep it up, or B. His scores are a little low for someone who wants to be in a field of science and to kick it into gear. It's a pretty cool test, despite the fact that it takes away two days of instruction.

It got me thinking about the aptitude tests I took in middle school and the jobs that they indicated for me:

• Lawyer
• Gryffindor House (zing!) jk I'm totes Ravenclaw :(
• Public/Government Service
• Writer or Editor
• Teacher (no surprise there)
• Research Assistant
• Psychology
• Manager

Those tests did a pretty good job and there's no question that teaching is for me. I love it. I know I complained and doubted quite a bit last year - but this year its so much better and I LOVE being here. I LOVE these kids. I LOVE the school environment, the fast pace, the constant change. 

But what if I wasn't a teacher? What would I be when I grow up? What are my ideal jobs? None of THESE showed up on my aptitude test results!

• Pinterest Pro. I don't know what that is but I want to be it. 
• Personal Shopper. My cousin Sally commissioned me two weeks ago to find her a modest, cute dress and it was the most fun ever. She got a super cute lace number from ASOS that I suggested!
• Writer - books, blogs, news column. I just love to write. As long as it's something I care about.
• Personal Trainer - I actually looked into this over the summer because I knew The Beard would be starting school and if I was gonna take a second job, it would be this. 
• Playlist-Maker. The Beard made so much fun of me when he saw how many playlists I have. Happy, Sad, Rainy, Morning, Summer, Nighttime, Anger, Sleepy, Yoga, Singalong, Love, Workout, + 20 more. I get a little ridiculous. I maybe had a makeout playlist in college. MAYBE.
• Coach. I'm not terribly awesome at sports, but I love sports, I love learning and strategizing with sports and I love working with kids. 
• Makeup Artist/Esthetician. I love all things makeup and beauty, and I love giving tips and recommendations. 
• Therapist/Life Coach. I've always loved helping people talk through their problems and find solutions. 
• TV & Movie Critic. I absolutely love watching TV and movies, and I LOVE analyzing and talking about them.

If you want to make any of these dreams come true and could use my help with Pinterest/Shopping/Closet Editing/Writing/Working Out/Music/Sports/Makeup/Life/TV you just let me know. I'll take care of you.

What did your aptitude tests say? Is that where you're headed? What is your ideal job?

Please tell me I'm not the only one who wants Pinterest to be a full-time gig. 

Why I'm Basically Lizzie McGuire

It started when I retweeted a Buzzfeed list about what we can learn from Lizzie McGuire and Aaron Carter favorited it and followed me. Sure, maybe it's a semi-bot account and he follows everyone. But I'm still starstruck by the guy who beat Shaq.

How this video only has one million views beats me.

So when I saw a pin on Pinterest linking to the full episodes, naturally I spent several afternoons watching them and reliving my preteen summers. The Beard was not impressed.

My favorite part? Her hairstyles. I was REALLY into hairstyles - when you have a fully stocked salon in your house it makes Lizzie McGuire hair actually possible. I kid you not, I had a notebook with sketches of different hairstyles in case I ever ran out of a "new" do for school. Don't believe me? Get excited because Patti Budge was a scrapbooker so I have evidence.

 

Classy Twists 'n' Buns for the Christmas Dance

 

 Check out those stylish twin messy buns, Santa! Lookin' fresh with buns & braces

 

Crimped my hair 2/5 school days per week, minimum

My first crush, stud of our school Michael Bate once turned to me in the middle of science, those brown eyes and freckles making me forget the phases of the moon we were memorizing, and asked "Do you have a different hairstyle for every day?"

Yes I do Mike Bate. Gotta keep those Springville Middle School kids impressed.  P.S. you're gonna be my boyfriend and we're gonna be the IT couple until our dramatic breakup in junior high. Get ready.

Thanks, Lizzie.