Tuesday, April 23, 2013

As Dry as the Books to Which I so Desperately Cling

Bonus points to anyone who can name that movie/book.

My skin is dry. Incidentally, I also love books so it was kind of perfect.

As it is warming up and I'm kind of sick of boots and leggings (I'll never REALLY be sick of leggings. Come on.), I decided it's time to take care of this wrinkled, fading, scaly skin/nails/hair of mine.

This week at the grocery store I impulsively bought the Garnier-Fructis Moroccan Oil because it was tiny and on sale and I'd spent every in-between moment at school picking at my dreadfully straw-like split ends. I'm the Tiger Woods of impulse buys - really good and no listening to my conscience. (zing!)

I'm sold. Seriously. I shampooed and conditioned my hair normally, then wrung it out and applied about 2 teaspoons into my damp locks, combing it through with my fingers and then wrapping it up in a towel for a few minutes.

Effects: My hair is pretty straight, so I can't speak to it's relaxing powers, but my hair dried silky soft and there is noticeably less damage on the lower third of my strands. I accidentally deposited too much on one part of my scalp (I was trying to concentrate on the bottom half, but failed) so it was slightly greasy - but one blast of my brand new Paul Mitchell Dry Shampoo solved that it under 5 seconds. Yahtzee.

The week before, I was wearing a tee shirt and looked down at my normally dry/scaly forearms to see DANDRUFF. Well, not dandruff. But my skin was literally flaking off. It was disgusting.

Enter Skin Milk. Purchased at our fancy local Smith's (super cheap), this body cream is thick, creamy and plain. With a slight vanilla smell and the real milk proteins, it made my skin feel (and smell) heavenly pretty much instantly. I  spread it on generously while my skin is still damp from the shower to lock in moisture. My skin has much more life and feels less like an alligator. The Beard approves. Glen wants to lick it because he thinks it's frosting.

As for my peeling, dry, hangnail prone fingertips - it's all about the cuticle oil and cutting down on harsh nail polish removers. I try to only use nail polish remover about every 2 weeks, giving my nail beds a few days to chill before very carefully polishing them so the color will last and not chip. Every couple of days I dot a drop of Orly cuticle oil or cuticle lotion on my beds and trim off any dead skin.

If you get peeling nails or lots of dead skin hang nails along your nail beds this is a necessity.

On a semi-related note:

Do not get L'Oreal Sublime Bronze self-tanner. Don't do it. It might be on sale. You might think "Wow. L'Oreal is a pretty good brand. This is probably a step up from my Jergens standby. I'll give it a try. Only $4, so it can't hurt, right?"

Wrong. It can. It can make you look like you have hickies and also got attacked by an army of cinnamon-sugar toast. I really was trying to be careful too. (It looked worse in person. Trust me.)

The Jamba Juice girl made me realize what my students were whispering about. It wasn't Justin Bieber. It was my "hickies." Yikes.

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  1. That is so funny because I LOVE the sublime self tanner! I guess it depends on what type you get? (Foam, gel, wipes?) I've used the wipes and I really like them! Although I did just score a Jergens natural glow FOAMING moisturizer that I really really like. Wow, I sound orange and leathery...

  2. LOL that mom totally uses the hell out of those bronze self-tanners.