I Read - The Glass Castle

I had heard from a few friends that The Glass Castle was the hot new book to read, and it made Bon's Summer Reading List, so once I finished my latest book binge (Gillian Flynn's other two books - Dark Places and Sharp Objects, then The Dinner which came recommended based on my love for Gone Girl) I decided to go for it. I put it on hold last week at the library, expecting to get it in a few weeks. To my excitement BAM it was ready for pickup on Monday!

I finished it yesterday, which is relatively fast for me, considering I wasn't able to read at all on Thursday or Friday. The book was just so fluid and paced, and the stories so short it was easy to say "Ok, one more... But really, just one more... Ok seriously this is my last one..." the same way I do with those short little 22 minute Office episodes on Netflix. I'm a chain watcher, a chain reader.

I don't know if it's that I'm getting old and soft, or that being a teacher puts me in a more responsible, adult role, but I found myself relating more to Jeannette's nurses, teachers, employers and any of the other small, SMALL handful of emotionally stable, mentally healthy adults in the book. Therefore I was incredibly angry and so protective throughout the entire book. And the teacher in me kept thinking - "Wow. These kids are brilliant. I hope I'd be able to see that as their teacher. I wonder if any of my kids have experiences like this."

The Beard kept telling me to stop reading this book, because I'd be sprawled on the couch next to him reading silently one minute, then jerking upright to exclaim "Noooooo!" "Groooooooooosssss ewewewew!" or "HOW FREAKING DARE YOU YOU ARE THE WORST HUMAN BEING ON PLANET EARTH!"

But I told him to zip it. Because I was sometimes chuckling aloud. I was sometimes tearing up at the camaraderie and loyalty of these bright children. I was cheering them on as they excelled in school or successfully fixed a problem like their rock catapult or homemade braces.

The thing that made me the most sad, though, wasn't their hunger, filthiness, injuries, embarrassment, abuse... although those did a mighty fine job of making me equal parts angry and depressed.

The saddest thing was watching Jeannette's changing view of her father. The early chapters of the book are full of Jeannette as her father's best friend and even partner-in-crime. She KNOWS without a doubt that he can do anything. He's gonna build that Glass Castle. He's gonna finish The Prospector. He's gonna quit drinking. Venus is hers.

As you get to know him, you realize more and more how worthless he is, and you hope she'll realize too. You find yourself siding with Lori when she says "Why do you always have to encourage him?!" Come on, Jeannette. See what a selfish, socially-delusional drunk your hero dad is. Stop trusting him. Stop putting your faith where it'll just be continually falling out of the backseat of the car onto some railroad tracks.

But then she does see it. And then you feel so bad. I think everyone goes through this with their parents and adults they trust. You grow up thinking these people are all the things they say they are and all the things they want to be. As you get older and, more importantly, wiser, you see them say or do things inconsistent with your view of them. You see them fail. You hear people criticize them. You watch them fill up the Glass Castle foundation with garbage.

I guess the reason this was so traumatic to me was because it really was all they had. All she had was her faith in her father. Brian and Lori lost that faith long before her, so she clung to it all the more desperately. She finally lets go, I think, when she calls his bluff and makes him give her the belt. Their relationship is never the same.

Once she really leaves Welch and her nomadic life behind, once she no longer feels she is under their irresponsible spell, it comes full circle where she loves and pities them again. She knows her dad was never the hero she thought, but she finally accepts him for who he is - her alcoholic, pool-hustling, loving, dream-supporting dad. And that's when I finally realized - "I judge people like Rex Walls all the time, but somewhere they've got a Jeannette that still sees the good that is definitely in them, regardless of their laziness or poor choices."

This book largely influenced my recent blog post about awareness regarding my students. So many people judged and even hurt the Walls family. So many teachers, adults, friends, neighbors, employers just went on with their lives, not knowing these kids were rooting sandwiches out of the trash, reading leagues above their grade level, dragging their mom out of bed in the mornings to make her go to work so the could eat.

Am I the teacher who puts those kids in Special Education classes and patronizes them for their parent's mistakes? Or am I the teacher who puts them in charge of the school newspaper and encourages them to aim higher?

Are you the neighbors who fight to have them evicted? Or are you the people who pay them to babysit and buy them bus tickets to New York?

This book left me with a humbling awareness of my lack of awareness. And a commitment to notice more, to help more, to encourage more. I want to believe there aren't Jeannette Walls out there, but you know what? There are. Maybe even at my own school. And I want to do whatever I can to help them become the adult Jeannette Walls of today, rather than perpetuating the Rex and Mary stereotype.

I recommend this book to anyone and everyone. It's insane and infuriating and poignant and inspiring. It makes you believe in agency, in gumption, in hard work and, surprisingly, love.

If you've read it - let's talk! If you haven't, read it and THEN let's talk. Or we can just talk regardless. I just like to talk.

My Butt is on Instagram

Over the past several weeks I've had quite a few former students come to see me and I've been able to find out some interesting information. I have summarized this information as such:

• The 9th grade boys who couldn't wait to get out of the "stupid" middle school and into the real world quickly realized how insignificant a high school boy can be
• The 8th grade kids who complained all last year about how much reading and work I gave them all came back to tell me how easy my class was compared to 9th grade. Last laugh.
• My gifted penis artist from last year is now incarcerated on a variety of offenses, but vandalism wasn't one of them, surprisingly
• One of my girls stayed almost an hour after school telling me about how her and her best friend got in a huge fight about her friend starting to do drugs and now they don't talk.
• One of our punk 9th graders from last year is counting down the days until he can drop out
• A bunch of my boys from last year smoke copious amounts of pot. COPIOUS AMOUNTS. 
• One of my girls from last year who really struggled came down to tell me she's getting an A in Geography this year so far and plans to get an A all year! Awesome!
• One of the boys from last year used to take pictures of me during class, especially when I'd bend over. Allegedly there are photos on Instagram, although I can't confirm that.
• One of my girls told me her parents went through an ugly divorce and now her dad yells at her every night about how much she costs to raise.
• One shy girl, a girl very under-my-radar, at parent teacher conferences said "I brought my mom to meet you because you're my favorite teacher!" Blindsided me in a good and guilty way.

Sometimes I forget with all the extreme perfume/cologne, laziness and cartoon genitalia, that these kids actually do have tough lives. Middle school isn't easy, and neither is figuring out who you are on this crazy planet. Bullying is real. Drugs are dangerous. School is hard. Families can suck.

180 days seems like such a long time. But I already look back at my kids from last year and think "That went by so fast. I had almost no time with you." I'm in this weird position where I love these kids so much, but I only see them for 45 minutes and its 90% academic & behavior. BUT I care so much about their social and emotional well-being and futures. BUT I have no control over it and very little influence on it during the times I see them.

Seeing these old students and recognizing that A. The year flies by. and B. Their lives are so much more than just school, helps give me much needed perspective on what it means to be a teacher and what's really important.

Is the world gonna end if they don't know who Nathaniel Bacon is? No.

But it might if they feel like no one loves or respects them. If they feel like no one believes in them and wants them to succeed.

It's important to me that these kids feel love and respect every day. It's important that they know they can succeed. And it's important that they know finishing high school without doing drugs is walking through a door that will lead to happiness. 

It's also important to me that no more students snap pics of my backside, so I'm increasingly vigilant this year. Snapchatters beware. 

ADD: A Gift or Curse?

On Tuesday night I was invited to attend a meeting/book promotional event put together by Mark Patey - a famous pilot and businessman from Spanish Fork. He is a celebrated ADD-er and wanted to share his unique viewpoint and discoveries with parents, teachers and fellow ADD-ers. His book "Addicts and Millionaires" will be coming out soon and will help erase some of the stigma surrounding ADD.

We met at his TSO - Top Secret Office - where almost no one has been before. It's a private hangar at the Spanish Fork airport, which was pretty awesome. We got to see some planes he built and the Search and Rescue helicopter he uses to help in emergencies. This plane is the one GM approached him to build - and then he used it to break the Transcontinental Flight Speed record by 48 minutes!

We got free Cafe Rio, which is always gonna win me over. We mixed and mingled, as they say, and then settled in for the presentation from Mark Patey and his Equal Opposite - Dave Neilson

My +1 Tayler and another one of the cool planes

Mark shared his persepective of ADD with us - that it's a gift! There is such a negative stereotype of ADD. The name itself says it's a DEFICIENT DISORDER. "There's something wrong with you." "Something is lacking." "You're not good enough."

Why is that the case? Their brains literally think differently, but why does that have to be bad?

ADDers are 3x more likely to do drugs to help take the edge off their constantly revving brains. This is what teachers, parents and society often focuses on. "Sit still." "Stop fidgeting." "Why can't you just do this right now and finish?" "Let's fix you."

 ADDers are also 3x more likely to be self-made millionaires, because their creativity, drive and intelligence makes them incredibly effective! Why aren't we utilizing that energy? Why aren't we giving them the options and support they need? We should be.

Every ADDer needs at least one Equal Opposite - a person who can be their complementary strength, not force or rush them, and keep them thinking positively about themselves and others. Anyone can become an Equal Opposite by accepting ADDers, compensating for their weaknesses and expanding on their strengths.

Things I Took Away:

• Let them fidget, walk around or pace. Most ADDers need to be doing at least 3 things at once to function. 
• Allow them to think creatively - tap that creative brain!
• If they want to work on something else, let them. They will be more productive and eventually come around to the thing you want them to do. 
• Don't ignore the addictive nature of the condition. Allow them "healthy addictions" that can help them unplug and slow down their brain - movies, exercise, games, etc. Make sure these have an end point (unlike video games which they could addictively play for 3 days on end).
• Give them time to recharge and make sure they are feeling ok regularly. Sometimes you won't know they're too wound up until it's too late and they are non-functioning.

 I'll be getting an early edition of their book soon that I'll read and review on the blog for you. I'll be posting more about their philosophies and ideas for ADDers.

If you have ADD/ADHD or someone you love has it, please check out ADHDgift.com for information and resources. We need to help these kids see their value and help them in ways that will actually HELP.

These kids are superheroes and millionaires, not just crazy addicts. Let's turn the tide against ADD!

What is School For?

This week I'm wrapping up my first Masters course - Introduction to Curriculum Theories! Man. I wonder how long my teacher training would have taken me if it was all online, at my own pace. Probably like 45 minutes because those classes were largely repetitive and barely useful in a real classroom environment. (Get it together, BYU Education Program! More Classroom Management and actual teaching, less theory and methods!)

To finish the course, I have to write an opinion/personal philosophy paper, and I want YOU to weigh in. Yes you. My dear friend. You. Read the following brief summary and tell me what you think.


This class focuses on the four main ideologies held regarding education as a whole. Here is what these four ideologies generally support as the reason we have education:

Scholar Academic - school is for students to learn the collective information we've accumulated over hundreds of years in academia (math, science, history - below, language, humanities, etc), putting kids in college and making them experts in various disciplines. There is a set curriculum they need to know and will be tested on.

Social Efficiency - school is to prepare potential workers with skills, knowledge and behaviors they need to contribute and succeed in society. This is the Ron Swanson approach - we turn them into the workers that the market needs using a factory-like method: they go in as raw materials, they come out as polished, completed commodities (employees).

Learner-Centered - school is to help kids discover and self-actualize. These are the schools where kids individually decide what they want to learn and when, and kids are allowed to be kids.

10 Extra Awesome points if you get this reference

Social Reconstruction - society is ill, and school is how we heal it. We educate kids on the problems of the world (i.e. Kony, hunger, racism), teach them critical thinking and problem solving skills and then encourage them to take it forth into the world to turn this bus around.

Realistically, our public schools today are generally Scholar-Academic with more and more Social Efficiency as they get older (think MATC, Wood Shop, FFA, etc). We work in Social Reconstruction wherever we can, but especially in Utah we can't push too hard on social issues. Utah has several Montessori-type schools, and one self-proclaimed Learner-Centered school in Murray called Sego Lily School.

I have to write a paper on my personal philosophy of curriculum, referencing these four main ideologies. I'm on the social side - Social Efficiency and Social Reconstruction, but grounded in Scholar Academic. I think the way our society and education system is headed, if we can't get kids jobs and limit their student loan debt, we're gonna collapse in on ourselves! We need to be teaching kids skills the market needs - no more useless English degrees with $50,000 in student loans. We also need to be talking to them about social inequalities, demographic issues and horrors that need to be corrected - they are the future! Only they can control what happens when we get all old and decrepit. But still. I know my kids hate to hear this, but I USE MATH. Maybe not trig, but I still use everything up to Geometry and Algebra 2. Maybe even College Algebra. They need to know about our history, even if it won't apply to their future jobs because THEY LIVE HERE GOSH DANGIT. They need to know WHO THEY ARE. I'm just the teensiest bit biased here, obvs. Learner-Centered is great in theory, and I do try to incorporate their choice and interests wherever possible, but in reality it just doesn't work for most people/teachers/schools.

So I want to know, as I prepare to write this paper - what do you think? What is school for? 

Is school for learning information and ideas?

Is school for learning skills so you can get a guaranteed, good job?

Is school for discovering yourself and growing?

Or is school for preparing a generation to take on the world and fix all of societies problems?

Should we focus on information or skills? Thoughts or feelings? 

What is the most important? Can you choose just one?

Let me know! I want to get perspectives from parents, students, non-teachers and teachers alike. Love you all!

Things I'm Terrible At

Including, but not limited to:

• Speaking in church (which we're doing today). I talk too fast and say whatever I feel like. I know. Your worst Sacrament meeting nightmare. 
• Using knives, especially sharp ones
• Washing my face before bed
• Swimming. I blame it on my, ahem, DD drag resistance. Not buoyant. 
• Lipstick
• Singing, but I don't let that stop me. Haters gon hate.
• Fasting. Aren't we all, though?
• Children under 12. I'm bad at children.
• Elderly over 70. I'm also bad at old people. 
• Using hot rollers
• Forgiving 
• Any kind of art or design. I can't make anything look good. 
• Comforting people
• Pushing myself hard in a workout. I jump off that treadmill as soon as I talk myself out of it. sometimes before I'm even inside the gym. 
• Photography, editing, "real" blogging
• Choosing sides in a debate - Liberal v. Conservative Issues, Educational ideologies, NSYNC v. BSB (jk it's totally NSYNC)
• Standing up to people
• Cooking & sometimes baking (i.e. French macarons)
• Training Glen Coco. He's just too cute or I'm just too lazy or both. 
• Running into people I kind of know at Walmart. I always hide and/or pretend to not see them. 
• Pushing my kids when they don't want to be pushed. 
• Buying people presents they actually want

Yikes that list got long fast and I'm only getting started. 

But apparently there are at least 100 of you out there who think I'm not terrible at blogging, so I want to thank you for that. I appreciate your kind, hilarious, insightful comments and of course, your friendship. All my love coming through this post direct to you. 

Love

D

I Find Your Lack Of Spirit Disturbing

It's Spirit Week here at Sunset Ridge! Not quite the same as your typical high school spirit week, but we try. When I was in high school it was like "Pajama Day!" "Crazy Hair Day!" "Cross-Dress Day!" (hard to believe we actually did that one. Ah the days before political correctedness!)

Yesterday was "Thrift Shop Day." Thanks, Macklemore. For those of you who don't know this reference, it's ok. I had to try to explain it to some of the other teachers and even then I struggled.  I didn't dress up simply because I didn't have a fur coat OR a velour jumpsuit OR a broken keyboard. Hell, I didn't even have $20 in my pocket.



Today, though, I got into it. Hero/Villain Day. It was really hard choosing between my several different Darth Vader shirts, but I decided on the "Who's Your Daddy?" one. I've also been super into the graphic tee/pencil skirt/heels trend but I don't usually wear graphic tees to school. Win/Win today. Although I have to explain to some kids that Darth Vader and whiny little Anakin are the same person. Ew.

 

Tomorrow is Nerd Day. The Beard's comment when I told him? "Oh, cool. So you'll just dress normally." Thanks, babe. To amplify my nerdiness, I'm thinking my glasses and my Harry Potter tee. Maybe a calculator watch. We'll see.

Friday is Sports Day and the Fun Run. Last year I wore one of my BYU shirts and I got MAD HECKLED by 80% of the kids. What the? That's when I really knew I wasn't in Kansas (Utah County) anymore. This year I think I'll go with a more neutral Team USA tee, because although I am a Cougar, my bleeding blue is subject to heckling/arguments/my crazy Ute cousins getting on my case.

Stuff like this makes it so fun to be a teacher. I also dress up for certain lessons - red, white and blue for election days/Constitution Study/War of 1812 (the Star Spangled Banner, duh), my tricorn hat when I gush about George Washington, Boston tee for the Boston Massacre and Tea Party, etc. I'm all about themed dressing up. Check out my Swiss milkmaid braids that I rocked for Swiss Days with my ladies! So much fun.

Am I the only person who likes to dress for events? Not even costumes, just my normal clothes. The Beard is pretty convinced that I'm crazy and he will NEVER outfit-coordinate with me. Years later, you'll find me dressing my kids to match me. I'm gonna be THAT mom. Yikes. I hate myself already.

Parent of the Year (not sarcastically)

Yesterday as I was preparing for Back to School, I received the following letter from one of my new parents: (names changed, obvs)

Greetings:

Skyward shows that you have my son, Harry Potter in your class, and so, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is James Potter, and I am Harry's father. I would like to start by saying Thank You for instructing my son. You have a very demanding job that I would imagine at times seems thankless at best; however, to Harry's Mother, Lily, and myself, you are a Godsend to say the least.

I would just like to say that if his Mother and I can be of ANY assistance to you as you work with our son, Please Do Not Hesitate To Contact Us. Also, if you have any concerns whatsoever, to include anything you might observe to be questionable or/and negative (such as negative interactions with others, "colorful language," talking back, etc., again, please do not hesitate to call on us. I really want to emphasize that you can feel comfortable with discussing anything with us concerning Harry, without fear of us becoming defensive.

About Harry: Harry has a tendency to be dark in mood, and sarcastic to others to the point of being caustic at best. He has also, while in such moods, been known to be disrespectful to his instructors. Please DO NOT PUT UP WITH THIS!!! If you observe this behavior, contact us so that we can correct him. Your job is hard enough without having to put up with attitude. I don't want this to sound as if there is nothing positive about our son: quite the contrary! To us, he is very intelligent, caring of others, is well spoken (he has worked hard to overcome a stutter early in life), he is constantly reading everything from Mad Magazine (yes, he gets it - he thrives on adult oriented humor) to large novels, etc. Overall, he is a wonderful Son, and we love him dearly...

Again, Thank You in advance for taking the time to read and consider this long-winded diatribe, and Thank You for working with our son Harry.

Sincerely,

James and Lily Potter

James's Cell #: xxx-xxx-xxxx 
Lily's Cell #: xxx-xxx-xxxx 
Lily's Work #: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Email Address: xxxxx@gmail

Can you believe that? How amazing are these guys? That's why I chose the noblest pseudonyms to give them. It warmed my heart to read this email. I'm serious when I say that I probably only get MAYBE one of these a year. For every one of these I get 4 neutral emails and 45 critical/angry/stupid emails. This parent is teaching his son that following rules, monitoring behavior and working hard are all important elements in success.

Stuff like this restores my faith in humanity. Be these types of parents, you guys. Not only is it great for the teachers, but it really is what's best for your kids. These parents are confident enough in their love for their son that they aren't threatened or defensive when he may make mistakes. NEWSFLASH. They all do, and I am not an idiot - I don't blame the parents 100%. Have the security and maturity to accept that all kids do stupid things and it isn't a reflection on YOU. It isn't a prediction of the way they'll be forever. And it definitely isn't something the teacher is making up for fun.

Take it in stride. Lets work together as a team! I want what's best for little Harry too! I love your kids so much you'd probably be concerned (not in a gross way, obvs, but in a I stay up worrying about them and sometimes cry over them in the car on the way home kind of way). Lets hold your children to a high standard and they will soar - with our help. Thank you, awesome parents everywhere. You're making the world a better place.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Holdaway

My Douchebag Nose and Day 1/180

I made it. At least until today. Here's how the first day went:

9 pm - Get in a fight with The Beard over something stupid right before bed, the night before my first day of school because that's maturity!  #marriage

10 pm - Go to bed grumbling

11 pm - Actually put down my phone after reading every article on Buzzfeed

12 pm - 4:30 am - Have roughly 7 stress dreams about missing Mitch's call, sleeping through school, rampaging gorillas, the usual. Approximate sleep time = 1 hour.

4:30-5:30 am - Lie awake cuddling Glen Coco and trying to get the panic in my chest to subside, even like 2%

5:30 am - Elder Budge calls from the airport! We got to talk to him for almost 45 minutes until he boarded the plane and the stewardesses made everyone hang up. It was awesome. He even bore his testimony to us in Japanese!

6:30 am - Sneeze and burn my hand while curling my hair. Glen Coco licks me furiously, gravely concerned. Thanks, nose. I couldn't have done it without you.

 7:05 am - Dance my way out the door and into my silent classroom for some awkward outfit photos

Top: Victoria's Secret, Skirt: Cozy, Heels: Forever Young Shoes, Belt: F21

 

7:50 am - Bell Rings. It begins. Panic turns to adrenaline which turns to volume in my voice and snapping in my fingers.

 First Day Activity - I ask the kids for some input about the kind of class they want, they write their thoughts on stickies and put them on the board for us to talk about

2:50 pm - Bell Rings. I finally take a breath. And several ibuprofen.

3:30 pm - I stumble into my apartment, change into sweats and notice my numb toes have returned. Curse of the heels. But they're just so cute!

5:00 pm - The Beard comes home and makes me homemade pasta because he's THAT cool.

Here I am, several days later, toes still numb, burn still glaring, throat strained and still smiling. Three days down, 177 to go. :)

Resistance is Futile. Pinterest is Inspirational.

Well here it is! I'm at school waiting for my kids to pour into my room for the first time. I love fresh starts. I love setting goals. I love To-Do lists. I've been spending a lot of time on Pinterest, listening to some of my favorite tunes, writing in my journal and making categorized lists of goals, ideas, worries and task items. I found several of these beauties on Pinterest that have stuck with me lately. I suppose this constitutes my list of goals for this school year.

My thoughts yesterday as I thought about meeting all 200 of my new "kids" Monday morning. Love them already. And I want to hold on to that love, rather than get sick of them, because my love for them DOES make a difference.

My thoughts today as I wake up early, meet 200 of my kids, go over my policies 6x in a row and come home with toes numb from pacing in heels all day.

For tomorrow and the next day and the next - when things get hard (TWSS) and I'm tired and sick and feel like I'm never gonna make a difference.

My Motto for this year - gonna pin this by my desk and on my mirror because it's what I want - to be a legend.

The best piece of overall life advice for school year multitasking/type-A/control freak me - leaving my phone in the car and appreciating nature as we camped with our best friends this weekend was a nice reminder of the beauty of just LIVING.

Basically I want to live my life in bold. Be a more tenacious and vivacious teacher. Expect more, do more. Be a more accomplished learner and student in grad school, my job and life in general. Have a life every day outside of school. Be healthier and have balance in my life. Have fun with my job every day! I only have 180 days with these kids and I want each of those to mean something to each of us. 

Alright, Sunset Ridge Middle School. Let's do this.

Back to School Playlist

Today is the last "free" day of working in my classroom! During these three days, I've had faculty meetings, department meetings, a couple of PTA-provided meals, front office paperwork, and the remaining time is mine in my room to decorate and plan lessons. That means lots of Pandora, Grooveshark and Netflix Office Episodes to keep me motivated and awake.

Here are my latest tunes keeping me sane for your audio enjoyment:



Pompeii - Bastille
Great song to sing along to with a fake accent and punch-dance in the car.



White Nights - Oh Land
I skip around my room hanging stuff to this song. 



Gold - Britt Nicole
This is cheesy but the first time I heard this song on the radio I thought "Man. I wish all my kids knew that." It's a song that gets me motivated to love and help these little psychos.



1940 (AmpLive Remix) - The Submarines
The interesting layered sounds of this song just get me!

Pandora Station - The Gorillaz.
These songs are fast-moving and fun - my go to mix for a grinding 2 hour lesson planning session. 



Album - Marina & the Diamonds - Electra Heart. I've had this album on repeat for weeks. The Beard HATES IT. But I love the upbeat dance tempo and clever lyrics. Great for high-activity work.

What are you guys listening to? What should I add to this list? I'm always looking for new tunes to blast in my classroom (The Beard can't grumble at me there!!).

Wish me luck - Monday is our first day of school!

School is 4 Fools Look at Meeeeeeee

Not only am I going back to school, but I'm also going back to school. If you're confused, you're not alone. I don't really refer to my job as "work" but usually as "school" since I'm a teacher. So I'm going back to "work" school, but I'm also going back to "school" school.

**Also don't forget about the Back to School Giveaway! Ends today!**

I found out on Friday that I've been officially accepted and enrolled at Western Governor's University for my Masters of Education starting September 1st! It was touch and go there for a while because I definitely said

"Ok thanks! Love you byeeeee!"

at the end of my phone interview, but they were cool with it anyway. For the record, I say that to everyone on the phone when I hang up. It was not intended to be brown-nosing. Sorry, Clover.

Yeah, my admissions adviser's name is Clover. Haven't heard that one before. I like to picture a little jolly leprechaun helping me improve my future, hiding a pot of gold under her desk in a bright green cubicle.

This guy surprised me with dinner and a movie (always my favorite) to celebrate!

Ultra Quick Movie Review: The Way Way Back is worth a redbox for sure. But I hate seeing my idol - Steve Carrell - as a doosh. :(

So Wednesday I go back to "work" school for teacher meetings, a week from today all my new kids show up for the first day back, September 1st I go back to "school" school to start my Masters program and September 16 The Beard starts his web development program downtown and I'll basically never see him again until Christmas (more coming on this - he's making me be secretive).

We're loading up on string cheese, gushers, office supplies and spiral bound notebooks over here. I love back to school shopping. I think I have 4 planners now.

I don't think my blog will suffer. In fact, my blog posts will probably increase because I'll be on my computer even more and looking for stuff to distract me/procrastinate my homework with. Good news, right?

Teacher Probz

This cough is MURDERING ME. It was ever so kind as to wake me up with a hacking fit at 2 am this morning to mark the 2 week anniversary of us being together. Sweet, right?

I've tried everything Pinterest, God and pharmacies have to offer and still - coughing constantly and sounding like Kurt Cobain. Two sick days, an entire pack of Dayquil, garlic/lemon/honey tea, Vicks VapoRub on my feet with socks overnight, tribal dances, nothing is doing it for me.

I've missed a couple of days of school, and there's been quite the pile of grading creeping up on me. I'm trying desperately to catch up on it - and I'll succeed today. However, one email from an illogical mother has tempted me to leave it all there, collecting dust.

Let's call her son Billy. Billy has dropped the ball a bit in the last month or so. He's failed to turn in assignments, performed poorly on quizzes and done about half of the work on the assignments he did turn in. Billy is actually really smart and a fun kid. I really like him. He's just fallen into this lull that all the kids are going through right now.

"It's getting warmer. All the girls are pushing the dress code. School is almost out. I better give up this strong pattern I've been maintaining and just lose my mind completely." - every middle school student right now.

Over the past week or so, he's been realizing how bad his grade has gotten and come in to do makeup work and turn in all his late assignments. I haven't entered his updated work for 2 very valid, normal reasons:

1. I've been sick and missed 2 days of school - during which time I not only teach and plan, but also grade all the work as it comes in. I'm usually always on top of grading. Unfortunately not when I'm passed out on the couch in front of The Office with my nose leaking. Gross. Sorry.

2. If I have a stack of current work, I grade that before I grade late and makeup work. I have limited time at school to use grading, so I feel I owe that to the kids that turned stuff in on time to get their work graded. Right? If it wasn't important enough to you to get the work in on time, it isn't important enough for me to grade it the microsecond you turn it in. I feel that this is normal and reasonable.

So here's what happened this morning. I get an email from a mom listing all of the makeup and late work her son has turned in during the past week and asking me repeatedly why those scores haven't gone in yet.

I understand this. Your kid does work, or TELLS you he does work and you aren't seeing it show up online so you are concerned. Totally get this. Totally cool with these emails.

Here's what I'm not cool with:

"The reason I'm concerned with these scores not being updated is because we grounded him from his ipod until his grades improve, but the book he needs to read for English is on his ipod so until his scores go up he can't read his book for English and we are very worried about that. We really need his grades to go up so he can get his ipod back and read for English."

Ok. Hold up. I'm all for holding kids accountable for their grades. I'm all for positive/negative reinforcement. It's perfect for this age group. Pick something they love as a reward and take away their "essentials" (phones, ipods, friend time, even makeup) as punishments. More parents should do this. So I'm not really that mad.

But lets look at the facts here.

Your son CHOSE to ease up effort in my class.

You CHOSE to take his ipod as a way to punish him.

Now, it's my fault that he can't do his English homework? No. It's not. 

If you are too prideful to go back on your decision to take his ipod, that's not my fault.

If you took his ipod without knowing his book was on it, that's not my fault. 

If Billy chose to turn in assignments late that I gave them class time to complete, that's not my fault. 

Instead of trying to lean on the teacher to cover up your mistake and your kid's failure to complete assignments, why wouldn't you use this as a learning experience with your son?

"See, son? This is why its important to just stay on top of your work. Now you are waiting on someone else and someone else is responsible for your happiness. When you do what they say to do, you are in control. When you don't, you are at their mercy and can't control anything in the situation. Life. Consequences."

That's some deep shiz that you're missing out on, Billy's mom. And your email just made me really want to let that pile of late/missing work sit there for another day. But I won't. Because BILLY MUST READ. (Not sarcastic. I really want him to read.)

Book Review/Pizza Night: Batting for the Other Team (Yikes)

Yesterday we went to our first book club meeting (missing the first one due to weather... booooo) and it was so great. I mentioned that I want to join 4 more book clubs and the Beard said, very wisely,

"Book clubs are to you what fantasy baseball is to me!"

And you know what? He's right. So anyone else that wants to start a book club with me - please let's? Email me. I'm totally down.

We read "The Art of Fielding" by Chad Harbach. It's a book about the intertwining lives of various characters at a small university in the midwest - including/surrounding the university's baseball team. I had high hopes when I began the book - it was all about this amazing shortstop Henry Skrimshander. The book is so fun for the first couple hundred pages! But, alas, it cannot last. Tragedy strikes and all of their lives fall into disarray. Heartbreak, death, loneliness, anxiety, depression, and terrible conduct ensues.

You can imagine the Beard's reaction when I tricked him into reading the book "It's about baseball!" only to have the baseball emphasis dwindle and the gay love affair emphasis swell about 200 pages in. Lolzies. Ryan is a homophobe, for all you new readers out there. Also, Ryan is obsessed with baseball and takes it INCREDIBLY SERIOUSLY. So to have his baseball paradise infiltrated with a gay love story - it was kind of the perfect storm.

At dinner we concluded that the story was good and the characters were interesting, but so many sections of the book were just wildly unrealistic and almost designated to become a screenplay. Overall, I would give the book a 7/10. I loved the baseball, the team esprit-de-corps, even the love stories before they fall apart. But the pain and guilt and trauma was too real, too long and too unsatisfying. Try it if you are interested in baseball, gay relationships, the internal personal struggle, or Moby Dick (a huge theme/inspiration in the book).

By far the best part of the book was discussing it at Pizzeria Limone - wow. We've heard great things but man, were we impressed. I got the Viola - a delicious pizza including proscuitto and blackberries. BLACKBERRIES!

We took the Trax because we take the Trax literally anytime we are able because we're obsessed with it. Can't wait until the Draper station opens up in August because it's seriously 3 minutes from our house. Yahtzee.

 

Shirt: AE, Skirt: Banana Republic, Boots: Forever Young, Bag: Coach, Coat: Old Navy

 

On the train home, while we were still in downtown SLC two kids climbed onto the train. They were probably about 13 or 14 and were very rowdy. The Beard was convinced they were high, although when I deny things like that I have to accept that I have never been good at noticing those things. They were bugging passengers, giggling furiously, swearing, and just generally being teen messes.

It was after 9 pm. On a Monday night. Downtown SLC. These boys were just riding the Trax around for fun, according to their conversation. And everyone just rolled their eyes at these little punks.

But I couldn't. It hit me in the heart. These were just like so many of my students. And they WERE freaking annoying. But what is your life like if riding around on Trax at 9 pm on Monday nights in downtown semi-sketchy SLC is better than being home? I just felt so responsible and sad for them.

You can take Danica out of her classroom, but I guess you can't take the classroom out of Danica.

Make good choices, sketchy Trax boys! Somewhere a random History teacher is thinking about you in a non-creepy way!

The 3 People You Meet at Parent Teacher Conferences

I have concluded that there are really only 3 types of parents that come to Parent Teacher Conference. There will be your anomalies and different flavors, but they'll all fit generally into these 3 categories. For your reading convenience they are listed from the easiest to the hardest. Enjoy.

#1 The Mandatory Parents

"Yes. Your child has 110% so everything really is fine. Thank you for coming. Bye."

These parents will go to every academic event, every school function AND bring their entire family. Always. Their kids are always at the top of the class and talking to the teachers is kind of a waste of time, but they do it anyway. Although I roll my eyes at them, I really appreciate them and their dedication to their student's education.

#2 The Interrogation Parents

"So he's telling me there is never any homework and that everyone is failing and that he's turned in everything and you just haven't graded it. Is that true?"

"Well..... no. Actually none of that is true. At all. Even a little bit."

These parents have kids that try to pull a fast one on them, but they use Parent Teacher Conference to attack confront their child in front of the teacher. It seems that tension has existed in their relationship for a while and the parents use this to spearhead the imminent conflict. With me watching. These kids might be B students or D students, but they get an A+ for Awkwardness and embarrassment.

#3 The Two Face Parents

"I know he is failing/he's just been so stressed/we had to move/we're getting a divorce/I'll have him stay after school/She's going to be grounded until this changes/I will make SURE she is up in time to get to your class first period/He's just been SO sick/Thank you so much for your help!"

These parents are the worst kind. They come in 100% on the teacher's side. They coo and simper and agree and justify. Their guilt (mixed with true parental concern, I am sure) forces them to Parent Teacher Conferences because they know they aren't doing everything they should as a parent, but they want to cover that up. And they probably honestly want to do better.

Today they are an attentive parent and a true ally, but tomorrow the kid will be late or absent from the first period class their mom PROMISED to get them to on time. Tomorrow their brand new iPhone won't be taken away as promised. This weekend they won't spend grounded and "working on homework," but instead having a great unsupervised weekend.

But even these parents, working 12+ hour days and cleaning pencil penises off my desks can't make me quit smiling over the 100% test scores, high fives and lightbulb moments I get every day. :)

There's an Alien Inside of Me! (Spoiler Alert: Not a Baby)

Nope, not pregnant. That is a quote from Modern Family, a favorite show, referencing the movie Alien, a favorite movie.

Thanks for all your concern on Instagram and Twitter. Here is the update - alive, not dying yet.

So I've basically been sick for a month. I had the flu over three weeks ago, kicked it just in time for a mild head cold to take center stage the week before Valentines, and then I was feeling almost better just in time to head down to St. George for the long President's Day weekend.

Huge Con of Being a Teacher: Sometimes it doesn't matter how many times a day you use hand sanitizer, how often you make them clean their desks, how much Vitamin C you take and how much sleep you try to get. Kids are germ factories and virus vehicles. You will get sick and remain at least 40% unwell from November-March.

But last week I got a new kind of sick. Everything I ate made my stomach hurt - not just churning or upset - like physical stabbing pains. The thought, smell and sight of food made me nauseous and I could barely eat. Sometimes the stomach pains were so bad I couldn't stand up straight and had to go lie down. Crackers, Pepto, Tums - nothing worked. I wasn't even sleeping because the pains were waking me up every few hours.

This continued, getting worse and better at times until I finally went to Instacare on Wednesday. Let's quickly review my symptoms - stomach pain, nausea, indigestion, weakness and headaches.

The doctor (a man. I'm sexist and always prefer women doctors/nurses) came back with the diagnosis of a urinary tract infection (UTI).

I almost laughed in his face. "Am I getting punked? Where's Ashton?!!!"

But my amusement quickly turned to anger as he wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic, told me to keep taking Tums and sent me on my way. Really? REALLY?!

Thursday I had a sub and spent most of the day on the couch sipping cranberry juice. Friday when I got to school I was dying, so the teachers kindly took care of my sub and told me to go get looked at.

Back at Instacare they found more white blood cells in my blood than is normal, indicating an infection. My stomach pains got worse and worse as they poked and prodded me.

"Does it hurt.... here? .... here?" "YES DAMMIT IT HURTS EVERYWHERE YOU POKE."

They send me over to Altaview Hospital to drink Iodine-Crystal Light cocktails and get a CT scan, where the cute and concerned Beard meets me. They make me leave the intrusive IV in my arm *just in case*, which sucks.

They find nothing, even as I sit there writhing in uncomfortable pain.

Eff my life. So I spent my weekend sleeping and chewing Tums, drinking lots of water and cursing Intermountain Health Care.

But I'm back at school this week, somewhat functioning, feeling a little better and praying I survive through Parent-Teacher Conferences this Wednesday/Thursday. (Friday off snitches! Sometimes being a teacher is rad.)

More #jrhighprobs for Your Reading Pleasure

A few weeks ago my bestie Katie suggested that I write more about the funny things that happen at school. I'll oblige.

I think a lot of people still view school, and history classes in particular as super ineffective, useless and boring. Textbooks and movies and date memorization. In reality, education has come a long way. We focus on small-group collaboration, DOING rather than TELLING, and focusing on big themes and concepts rather than date/fact memorization. The new "big thing" is standards-based grading - meaning we ONLY grade whether they meet the standard or not - no behavior, homework, effort,

Last week we were studying the theme of Movement as we did our Europe unit, so we had a lesson about things that originated in Europe and are now seen as "American" and are important to our lives. The list included things like blue jeans, hamburgers and hot dogs, the music of the Beatles, Adele, One Direction, Led Zeppelin, etc, and principles of government like democracy and republics.

We mapped these at their origins and then the assignment was to write one page on something that came from Europe that they think is important to America today.

Here are a few funny exerpts from their papers (I did not correct their original spelling or grammar, fyi)

• France is a very "legit" place.
• Your not American if you don't at least know what a hamburger is.
• The hamburger is the ultimate sandwich it is no ordinary sandwich, it has a big slab of beef that is so good that it will tickle your tastebuds.
• Hamburgers are so jucie and meaty, and just really good and talking about this is makeing me really hungry.
• Cheeseburgers are one of the main reasons in the US for Obesity. Cheeseburgers in my opinion are amazing.
• One Diretion sings like angles.
• One Direction is probably the second best thing that has happened to American girls. Justin Bieber is probably the best thing thats happen to us. 
• Adele also came from England. She writes songs that make people want to cry.
• Adele has perfect skin she has no acne.
• The Sex Pistols music is crap, I won't sugar-coat it. They sound like an infint walrus being thrown into a blender while still consious and I love them for it.
• Music has saved many lives throughout the years. Yes, it may also lead other to a more worse depression, but overall, most lives are saved from it. 
• Girls wouldn't have their cute diamond butt jeans and guys wouldn't have their silly saggy jeans.
• Fences make it so you don't need to look or talk to them if you don't like them. 
• With a fence you can keep the neighbors dog of your lawn and poop free.
• If your yard looks uglie you should protect and block with a fence.
• Democracy is one of the greatest things America has, and I hope we never lose it.
• Democracy made our lives so much better because we would have a king and we would have a good chans that he would be mean. 
• Republics are important to our government. We need both (meaning democracy) to balance it out so we don't go crazy and start shooting.  

So many days I wonder what I'm doing. If I'm having a positive effect on their lives. If they are even learning. If I can overcome the overwhelming circumstances in their lives that inhibit education.

Then I read stuff like this and realize that I couldn't pay for better entertainment. And for the most part, despite the spelling and grammar, they understood the assignment and will remember the theme of movement and globalization every time they listen to One Direction. Maybe even Democracy. :)

Then I feel better and love my kids for a few more days. Until another penis is drawn on my desks. 

What are Marijuana Tablets?

What if, as a teacher, I took a strange liking to one of my students?

What if he was underage and I was a weirdo 40-something?

What if I followed him on Twitter?

What if I, after weirdly stalking his Twitter feed, noticed he had a party at his house over the weekend and one of his sketchy friends tweeted about having ecstasy at said party?

Would I ask the sketchy kid who tweeted about it? Would I ask the student who had the party, who is my student and and I respect?

Would I submit a concern to the administration, the people who's job is to deal with student discipline?

Or would I decide to announce to not one, but ALL of my classes the next day about the "ecstasy party" and the bad high school kids who would throw such a party, based solely on a tweet I saw while STALKING a TEENAGE BOY'S twitter feed?

No. The answer is - I wouldn't.

Because I'm not a psycho who follows her teenage male students on Twitter.

Because I have half a brain and understand that MAYBE a teenage boy can tweet something that isn't true simply for the comedic value. Call me crazy.

Because I would ask the real person who tweeted about ecstasy, not the respectable, stand-up young man who works so hard in my AP class and has never done anything remotely delinquent.

Because if I were concerned, I would address that stand-up young man personally, privately to ascertain the truth.

Because sharing that a kid who had a party last weekend (everyone knew about the party AND who threw it) was a bad kid and had drugs and alcohol at his party MIGHT be considered slander and is a generally terrible thing to share even if it WERE true. Which it isn't.

Because what would happen if that untrue information started being spread around town by people who don't know the stand-up young gentleman and might believe it?

Because I'm not only a normal human being, but I understand that as an educator I have a reasonable duty to be a positive influence and have a shred of integrity.

There is someone at Maple Mountain High School who does not share these values (also called common sense).

It's a good thing my little brother is the amazing kid that he is.

It's a good thing he has built such a good, honest, strong reputation that most people know he would never have ECSTASY at a party, or even be anywhere near it.

It's a good thing he's so mellow and such a good sport, which has enabled him to roll with this.

It's a good thing it wasn't me. Because she'd be sitting in front of the Board of Education explaining why she did all the aforementioned things.

My brother is the best kid I know, a worthy priesthood holder and a total drug-free rock star. And no, there was not ecstasy at his very clean, very Mormon party.

So the next time you want to make up some crap about a student and spread that around the school like a 13 year old girl, you better pick a different target than Mitchell Jeffrey Budge. 

Because no one messes with my family and gets away with it. You think this is bad? I get all my feisty from my momma. And you haven't even had to deal with her yet. Be afraid. Be very afraid. 

Back to School

I haven't posted in 2 weeks, so you might have guessed that school is in full swing. Starting last week, I was at the school every day working on all kinds of stuff, going to meetings, and drinking lots and lots of caffeine. Turns out if you spend your whole summer sleeping as late as you want, being at school at 7:20 am is pretty rough.

This first week is sort of killing me. I'm out of "teacher shape." But it's so fun to be back! It's weird how quick you can fall back into teacher mode.

First day of school outfit! Yes I planned this days in advance, just like 2nd grade. I miss you Tweety Bird backpack.

I love my new heels, and wore them the entire first day. And by wore them I mean I stood, paced and ran all over the school in them. At the end of the day I didn't have blisters, but my dogs were barking and ONE OF MY TOES WAS NUMB. And it hasn't gone away! The interwebs says it's normal and it's just temporary nerve damage. So I guess I just get used to it for now? WTF

I came home to a clean house, warm delicious homemade dinner (by the Beard) and a beautiful new bamboo plant, which I talk about buying every time we go to Harmon's. Ryan's kindness healed my foot! He didn't even get mad when I fell asleep on him several times. What a guy.

Starting new, I just keep thinking of last year. I learned so much last year, and I keep making mental notes of all the things I would like to do differently. *Kind of long. Probs only teachers will fully understand this. But it applies to life.*

1. Be more serious. Last year it was hard to not feel like an intern. It was hard to take myself as a teacher seriously, because I felt that many people in the staff and administration weren't taking me seriously. Like I was just a cheap placeholder. As long as I wasn't causing problems or making waves, they could just forget about me. Teaching is a profession, and one we should take pride in. We get to change lives and be someone vitally important in these  teen's lives. It means dressing more professionally (even though I was overdressed compared to much of the staff last year), paying real attention in my meetings and stepping up to help where I can in the school.
2. Be on time. It's so easy to roll in a little late, especially as the year goes on. I don't clock in. No one is waiting at my door. Yet, the days when I am on time run much more smoothly. Not to mentions it is a measure of honesty and integrity that I can improve upon. 
3. Plan in advance. I hate to admit this, but I don't think I'm alone in "flying by the seat of my pants" many days. It wasn't uncommon to have no idea what we were doing next week, not to mention days that I didn't even read through the PowerPoint for the following day. I was so tired and overwhelmed sometimes, but in reality it only made me more stressed and exhausted to feel unprepared and naive. I've never been a formal lesson planner, but this year I'm thinking out my agenda for each day and outlining it briefly. I already feel more confident about it. 
4. Spend more time with my students. The best memories from last year were times that I was interacting with my students, even if it wasn't directly related to the curriculum. I want to meet my kids at the door - it makes a huge difference. I want to ask them about themselves and follow up with what's going on in their lives. I want them to feel comfortable with me (not in a friend way, don't misunderstand me), and to know that I value them.
5. Emphasize positivity. Last year I figured this out halfway through the year. I had the choice of spending another semester stressing about assignments, tests and notes, or I could have fun teaching. And I did! I reinforced my important rules, and then let everything else go. We started having a great time learning, and I think the kids appreciated it even more than I did. 
6. Be a better example. This school is very different than Mapleton Junior High. A large section of the staff and student body are nonmembers, and it really made me examine my conduct. Do I want to be one of those Mormons that reinforces their views of bigoted hypocrites? No! I want to be a good person, a great teacher and a fun friend that is also a Latter-day Saint. 
7. Take care of myself. Last year I would wait until I was sick to sufficiently hydrate and sleep. I wasn't super vigilant about hand sanitizer. I would veg on the couch when I was tired after school, instead of making myself exercise. I drank WAY too much DDP. I'm trying to set a healthier pattern. I've even gone to the gym on my way home after school! (It helps that I get off at 3:30 and the Beard works till 10)

To my new teacher and prospective teacher friends - don't get frustrated because your idealistic view isn't materializing. It won't for a while. And don't get bogged down in the administrative logistical details of daily teacher life. Take some time to remember why you are doing this and what you (and the kids) will remember in 5 years. I'm going to strive to remember our district motto:

Every child, everyday. 

Mockumentary vs. Documentary

In the past 6 months I have watched more documentaries than in my previous life combined. With my great love of Mockumentaries like The Office, Parks and Rec., Arrested Development, etc, I suppose the taste continues to their real counterparts - documentaries.

Netflix has an AWESOME collection of documentaries and I watch them for both business and pleasure. For history teachers, documentaries are gold. When a new unit is coming up, I watch documentaries to brush up on information and to look for potential documentaries that I'd like to show my students. Ryan and I also watch documentaries for fun pretty regularly.

Here are some suggestions and warnings for you:

Loved (fun):

It Might Get Loud - a rock-n-roll documentary (think real Spinal Tap, with less humor) that is pretty awesome. Watching Jack White play makeshift instruments is absolutely mesmerizing. Definitely worth a watch.

Exit Through the Gift Shop - ok, we haven't ACTUALLY watched this one. It's been in our queue for ages, and we really will get around to it. But I've heard great things from multiple sources and can't wait to watch it.

Loved (to learn):

National Geographic: Stress, Portrait of a Killer - super enlightening documentary about what stress does to our bodies and the change in stressors since primitive times. Really cool.

Project XX - these period-specific documentaries are awesome. I showed some of "The Great War" edition in class. They include real footage, cultural elements and actually HELPFUL commentary. They don't even feel like a dry, educational documentary.

Hated:

Waiting for Superman - this documentary chronicling the *failure* of the public school system in the US is so frustrating. As a teacher I can definitely sympathize. Our system is a bit of a mess. There are issues to be dealt with. But the spend far more time criticizing bad teachers and districts, very little time on good teachers and districts, and absolutely no time at all speculating about possible alternatives. In the end, you're left with this empty-handed discontent. What was the point of that?

Bowling for Columbine - after the recent Ohio school shooting I decided to watch this famous Michael Moore piece. I didn't even finish it. I can't stand the guy. I get his style. I get the drama. School shootings and violence are a problem. But this is sensationalist, muckracking, yellow journalism. Again, the only positive outlook is when he compares the awful United States to more successful, less violent nations, showing that it IS in fact possible to be peaceful. If you're not going to make this for a positive reason, shut the front door. I don't want it.

What about y'all? Agree? Disagree? Suggestions? I'd love to hear some more that I should look up.