Dear Danica: A Reminder

My schedule has definitely intensified over the past few weeks - I have 2 more committee meetings taking up time after school, at least an hour or two of reading and writing each night for my Masters, roughly 3-4 hours per week for my new calling in Young Womens, regular chores/laundry/gym/cooking etc, and spending all my extra time working on my new blog update (to be revealed soon!).

{Also today and tomorrow I'll be working 13 hour days for Parent-Teacher Conferences - thankfully I get Friday off though!}

I'm not complaining. This is not only 100% normal and doable, but also way less than most supermoms tackle in a single DAY. It just means I have to prioritize and plan much more than I usual do. I'm now hyper-aware of when and where I'm spending my hours.

A few days ago I opened up my bloglovin to find hundreds of unread posts, some most for blogs I haven't caught up on in a month or more. 

Then I opened Twitter to scroll through and see tweets from people that I had to stop and ask "Wait. Who is this? Is this a blogger? Random person I followed back? Douchey guy from high school that just subtweets girl problems?"

Next it was Instagram, to much the same effect. "Who is this girl? I don't even like her outfit. Why can I see more boobs than your face, sweetie? Why am I following 100 random small fashion companies?"

I have a stack of 3 books I've checked out from the library and started, but not finished. 

I publish my little brother's letters on a blog and post them on his Facebook and Twitter to make the posts accessible to his friends to keep in touch. I noticed that MY BABY BROTHER, who isn't even in the continental US or tweeting regularly has almost 500 followers. 

I've been working on my blog update and thinking a lot about the type of blogger I want to be and if I'm the type to ever have hundreds of followers or sponsors or the whole shebang. How much do I really care about the internet? What does it mean for my life?

So this is a reminder to you, Danica Holdaway. Because you forget this all the time. 

It's ok to unfollow tweeters you find boring and Instagrammers you find slutty.

It's ok if people unfollow you or don't follow you in the first place. It's about quality, not quantity. Don't compromise your humor, beliefs or personality for a number. 

It's ok to not read the "IT" blogs that everyone seems to love. Sometimes things just aren't for you.

It's ok if you don't feel the desire to sponsor or be sponsored. 

It's ok if you don't post every day or even every week. This is YOUR blog, not anyone else's.

It's ok if you don't read all the blog posts each day. They'll survive.

It's ok if you don't think of something hilarious or cute every single day. Absence makes the heart grow fonder or something?

It's ok to blow off an hour to just read, or nap, or Pinterest. Your head will explode if you don't.


Take a breath, Danica. Blogging is weird and kind of stupid, but fun. That's all it needs to be. 

Let those Instagram, Twitter and Facebook icons rest. Social Media is awesome, but shouldn't be a chore. 

Be yourself and let the internet world work for YOU, not the other way around. 


Incidentally, I love all you readers. You make my life better and I love you. I love you! Thanks for everything. You keep me going and keep me inspired. Big hugs coming through this screen for you. 

xoxo Gossip Girl/Danica

The Two Types of Girls I Won't Let My Brother Date

Friday I was down in Mapleton throwing this baseball-themed bachelorette party for one of my high school softball buddies - Kayla - until about midnight. It was so great to see these lovely ladies again, and meet some of Kayla's post-grad friends. We laughed and laughed and ate way too much popcorn. (no such thing)

 



I found myself thinking "How lucky am I to have these amazing friends that I can go months and months without seeing, yet fall right back into our comfortable friendship without missing a beat?"

At the same time, I thought about the group texting I was doing with Katie D, Eliesa and Jeanette - my LAO besties from college. These girls were way more than just coworkers, and I don't go more than a few days without contacting them via phone, email or social media. 


Earlier that day I'd been eating lunch and laughing my head off with my teacher friends in the faculty break room, feeling so happy that I finally made friends and fit in at school.

The next day, I'd get comments on my blog from girls I only kind of knew in high school and girls I've never met (looking at you Nicole and Danica!) that I see as good friends. They add so much nice to my life, just through kind words and likes.

That evening I'd be watching the rivalry game with the Ashby's - and Katie A's become one of my closest friends even though we only met a few years ago. I'd say we're even better friends than our husbands at this point. What do you think, Katie?

I thought a lot about my life and my friends. I think I was lucky enough to strike a pretty delicate balance - new and old friends that I can value forever. It got me thinking about girls who can't strike that balance and what that says about them. 

Without Further Ado:  

The Two Types of Girls I Won't Let My Brother Date

Type #1 - The Uncle Rico

I don't mean to say she LOOKS like Uncle Rico, only that this type of girl has the Uncle Rico disease - nostalgia to a fault. These girls peaked in high school and will never be able to completely move on. These girls still hang exclusively with their high school besties, date only boys from their hometown and never make new friends.

What's the problem with this? you may ask. The problem is that these high school, long term friend groups ALWAYS have some level of toxicity, large or small. When these girls stay together, they don't grow or change for the better. They continue to reinforce the negative behaviors they all have, finding comfort in numbers. Maybe even worse - their personalities are stagnated. These are some of the most dull and boring women you will ever meet.

Look on Facebook, and you will find these Uncle Rico girls. Posting the same pictures with the same girls, posting the inane details of their boring lives, and continually trying to maintain their relevance. These are often the girls that marry too quickly and have children so rapidly - to assert that they are something.

These girls are missing out on so much! I love my high school besties and I still see them whenever possible, but what if I'd never met Katie & Eliesa? My life would be very different, and less rich.

Type #2 - The Kleenex

Every time you see this girl she is with a new "bestie." This girl uses people for a brief period, then disposes of them as quickly. She's always running with a new crowd, dating a new boy, dragging a new friend on her overly-accessorized arm. She's in the know and on the scene. This girl absolutely cannot be alone and gets bored with people easily. Spending a night at home is simply not an option.

Why is this girl a problem? Because a girl who can't keep a friend is a girl who doesn't deserve any! Girls like this are catty, selfish and opportunistic. Gentleman - if you ever see a girl that is always with a new friend, never a consistent best friend or group, run. If she can't treat her friends well enough to keep them around, she definitely won't treat you with respect, either.

You will also find this girl ALL over Facebook. She'll have a ridiculous amount of friends (1,000+), 300 different profile pics and each with a different boy or girl, she'll be going to every ALL CAPS FACEBOOK EVENT-ALLOOZA!!!!, and don't be surprised if you see a broken engagement or two.

These girls are so lonely and sad, despite their constant attempts at companionship. They are missing the intimacy that comes with knowing someone so well you can send ugly snapchats and bitchy text complaints with the assurance that they still love you and will always be there for you. How do you live without that? For example, we spent a considerable portion of the night stalking a guy that had recently done some sketchy stuff to one of our friends (Below: Gabi even called his work! LOLZ), and I know those girls would do that for me, too. 

So there you have it, Mitch. When you get home from your mission in 21 months I expect you to fully comply with these guidelines. Find a girl that has great high school and hometown friends that she still sees and loves, but find a girl who also made new friends after high school that she will also stick with. Socially healthy and morally responsible girls take their friendships seriously and treasure them. Good girls are good people, and they are always attracting other good people. Look for someone who values people, new and old, and you'll find someone worthy of your love.

Sometimes-Always-Never: Utah Motherhood Trends

So my Happiness Project last week took me through books, pinboards, documentaries and blog posts about all things motherhood: pregnancy, childbirth, infant care and even parenting philosophies. A lot of the material I found was awesome. I'm only mildly terrified now. But there was so much ridiculous stuff that was just... too.... Utah for me. And I'm FROM Utah. I love Utah. But we've got some problems, you guys. So I thought I'd offer some help. Here are my rules for motherhood.

Sometimes

Unique names. My name is DANICA. Sure, it's more mainstream now. But it wasn't 23 years ago. And I love my name. Wouldn't it be boring if the boys were all named Jason and the girls were all named Brittany? (name that movie) HOWEVER. This is a SOMETIMES.

via Pinterest & Buzzfeed

• Follow the rules of freaking phonics. They exist for a reason. Take an English class. 
• If you name all 8 of your kids crazy Utah names I solemnly promise to call them all by the wrong names. "Oh how's Timpanogos doing in day care?" "... Um... it's Tiyara." "No... I'm pretty sure it's Timpanogos."
• NO APOSTROPHES
•  Picking a common name - Kylie, for instance, and spelling it "Kieleiygh" does not make you unique. It makes you hated by teachers, food service industry workers, and anyone else who has to be corrected during the course of your little one's lifetime. 
• I could keep going, but this article hits it out of the park. Read it for an LOL.

That being said - if you have a unique name, especially a family name, that is phonetically non-idiotic and can belong to someone who is 40 and a CEO, good for you. Go for it. 

Post ultrasounds. The Beard is very vocal and opinionated about this. He thinks it's super gross to see the inside of someone's uterus. He thinks it's super inappropriate to post that on something so public like Instagram or Facebook. I don't really care that much. I don't like the super realistic, 3D looking ones that show like eyes and noses and stuff. Yikes. The grainy black-n-whites? Not so concerned. I can never see anything so I don't care. HOWEVER. FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS DECENT AND PURE --- DO NOT CIRCLE, OUTLINE OR DRAW AN ARROW TO YOUR BABY'S TINY JUNK. Please. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. Someone in my Insta feed actually did that a few months ago and I was horrified. We believe you. It's a boy. No need to outline his little weeny in bright red. No thank you. You realize that kid is gonna be like 16 one day and that photo is horrifying?

Always

Do what is right for you, and more importantly, your baby. I already had people telling me that I shouldn't drink Diet Coke when I get pregnant. My friend's family was pressuring her into a natural home birth. There is a plethora of information out there. But like I've said before - people have been doing this for hundreds of years and childbirth is a NATURAL thing. My friend, also named Danica incidentally, emailed me and basically said "All your baby really needs is food, diapers and sleep. It's not rocket science." We can do this, even without the internet and library. Make the informed decisions that feel best to you and keep them to yourself. No one should tell you what to do (except maybe medical professionals, probs) and that also means you shouldn't tell anyone else what to do. {Obviously don't smoke or drink or get in physical fights or crap like that. Goes without saying.}

Never

Posting pictures of your naked, stretch-marked belly for everyone to see is gross and weird. I'm so proud of you. It's amazing. It's a miracle. But for pete's sake just keep a shirt on.

Take this photo for example - a couple of things I really like about this

1. Weird orb of a belly. You can't look away. It's like a car wreck. I can't help but picture the baby bursting out Alien-style.
2. Sexual boob cleavage. Classy. Perfect for a maternity shoot.
3. A dainty flower indicating.. well I don't really know. Fertility? Natural childbirth? It's just something for her hands to do instead of constantly stroking the giant belly?
4. Whenever I see a pregnant belly button it makes me think of sausage and that's uncomfortable for everyone. 
5. The only thing we're missing here is the dad doing something really weird like laying his head on the belly or grabbing it weirdly from behind her. Maybe also naked. 

How do you take photos of your baby in such ridiculous situations? Just take NORMAL PHOTOS.

Headbands are so cute on babies. I love them. This is pretty above and beyond. Do we need flapper headbands and YARN WIGS? Too much. Amiright?

All I see here is the baby having an explosive blowout in this bowl of fruit loops and it makes me gag a little in my mouth.


 Can we all agree that these rules are reasonable and will improve society? If you agree please pass along to your pregnant and one-day-pregnant friends so we can take control of this terrifying trend cycle. I know we can make a difference.

How to Interpret the Finals Week Posts In Your Feed

It's that time of year. The lovely, refreshing, rebirth of all the idiots who try to out-finals one another.

For your convenience, I put together a basic list of interpretations:

"I have 27 papers, 14 projects and 9 finals this week! Omg!" = I'm an idiot that can't read a course catalog.

"I slept 5 hours in the last 2 days! Soooooo TiReD!" = I'm an idiot that can't manage my time.

*Picture of $300 worth of junk food* "Must be finals week LOL" = I'm an idiot that needs constant sugar breaks to help my short attention span while "studying." BONUS - also an idiot that will act pissed about getting sick during/after finals while treating my body like crap before/during finals.

"Looks like I'll be cramming all night!" = I'm an idiot that was lazy all semester and did nothing to study or prepare for class.

"Here comes finals! I'm SCREWED! Wish me luck!" = I'm an idiot that is scared and desperately needs others to diminish their feelings of guilt and worthlessness.

"You know you're screwed when you don't even recognize some words on the review! #help" = I'm an idiot that never went to class because I slept through it even though it was at 11 am.

"My professor is INSANE! How can you assign this much for FINALS WEEK?!" = I'm an idiot who doesn't understand the rigor of a college education and has to blame mistakes on others.

"Just failed that final, and guess what? I don't even care! YOLO!" = I'm an idiot that is intensely concerned about that test score and feels like the idiot that I am.

"I handed in my papers late and 50% done, but whatever because I'M GRADUATEDDDDDD!!!!" = I'm an idiot that you will now have to deal with in the professional workforce. Congratulations.

Twentysix Eleven Giveaway Extraordinaire!

Finally. Black with a Chance of Cheetah is coming of age. In the blogger world that means having a giveaway, or so I'm told. 

My dear crafty friend Katie has recently opened an Etsy shop and loaded it up with super cute home decor and personalized subway art. She is offering one lucky reader credit to her shop - Twentysix Eleven - for a free piece of subway art! She has tons of great options from romantic script to inspiring quotes.

So onto the giveaway. To enter, leave a comment for each of the following that you complete:

• Like Twentysix Eleven on Facebook
• Follow Katie's blog at These Are the Days
• Check out Twentysix Eleven on Etsy and leave a comment telling me which item you'd choose. If you can even pick just one. 
• Follow my blog, Black with a Chance of Cheetah on Bloglovin'

Remember to leave your email in your comments so Miss Katie can contact you. 

This giveaway will run through Friday! 

Can't wait to finally reward my readers for putting up with my boring snarkiness. Katie is giving all Black with a Chance of Cheetah readers 25% off their orders for putting up with me.  Use coupon code CHEETAH25. Yahtzee. 

I appreciate you all one subway art-s worth. 

Why You Shouldn't Post Your Opinion on Facebook

#1. No one cares. Sorry. But for real.

#2. Your amateur opinion is not going to change anyone's mind. If you care deeply about a certain topic, either they do too and won't be swayed, or they don't and won't ever care. Hence, useless.

#3. Facebook arguments literally bring out the worst in EVERYONE. Have you ever seen a Facebook argument that doesn't end in childish name-calling or deleting the comments/original post? No. Because it's against the rules of physics to have a logical, mature discussion on Facebook.

#4. Having an opinion, whether it's about gun control, gay marriage, or the Twilight series, does not mean you also have to share it or shove it down anyone's throat. Contrary to popular belief, you CAN just have your own private personal opinions. 

#5. If you really, truly care about something, you'd be spending your time doing that thing in real life, not Facebooking about it.


Go ahead. Like a Facebook page. Write a blog post. Create an event. Talk to me about it in person. But if you post it regularly as a Facebook status I reserve the right to leave trolling comments and alter my opinion of you.

Also I'm going to buy some of these and use them liberally.

Wales: Day 40 First Day of the Rest of My Boring Life

Thursday, August 12. Even though this day was fine, in contrast with the best day of my life it just seemed so dull. I slept until about 2 pm, exhausted from a long day of walking all over London and getting home so late. I got up, wasted some time, pretended to work on my textbook, wasted some more time (seriously, the idea that I would be home in 3 days was a little too much for me to be able to focus), and then showered and got ready.

Gillian and I walked down to Tesco for baguettes and cream cheese, and then to Blockbuster to rent The Ring for movie night at 57. I am not sure I've said anything about the Blockbusters here, but they are HILARIOUS. Twilight was featured in the "Horror" section. They had no kind of cataloging system or record of what they had or was rented out. They would have 10 copies of some DVDs and then tiny collections of drama or comedy films. We just enjoyed our time in there. Anyway, they somehow had The Ring, which we wanted to rent because Gillian, Anders and Anna hadn't seen it, so we faked our residency to get a Blockbuster card (I still have it. Treasure) and rented it.

We headed over to 57 around 8 pm with the movie, blankets and treats. We pulled extra mattresses into the living room, circled the couches and chairs and settled in for scary movie night. It was fantastic. Everyone was screaming and freaking out. Just what scary movie night should be.

Anders took us home around 12:30 am and ended up coming in and hanging out with us for a couple hours. We did some solid facebook stalking (yeah, if you're reading this we probably stalked you too), had deep and meaningful conversations and laughed until 3 am when Jennifer came out and reminded us that people were sleeping and leaving at 6 am for their flights home. Kind of made us sad to realize that it was ending. It was pretty evenly split between people going home Friday and Saturday, but as I was leaving Saturday I hadn't thought too much about actually saying goodbye and getting ready to leave.

You guys would have been so proud of me. I set my alarm for 11:30 am so I would get a nice 8 hours and not oversleep because I had so much homework and packing to do, and then crashed into bed.