But He Kissed Me Anyway

I've written several times about the long, low-key, behind-the-scenes nature of my courtship with The Beard - most of it occurred after midnight, after our friends went home, in our cars talking until the sun came up.

Earlier this month I posted my October Bucket list, and that list includes watching a scary movie, NOT with the Beard, who HATES scary movies. It got me thinking about this story - the first night The Beard and I hung out one-on-one, the first night we kissed, and how I learned that he hates scary movies.

It was a snowy Friday in mid-December, and The Beard was working playing music at the Sky Lodge Bar in Park City. My parents were out of town, so I was staying at their house and chillin with Blade for the weekend. We'd been hanging out pretty consistently and texted about hanging out that weekend. I was pretty excited about hanging out with him one-on-one, even if he didn't get done playing the bar until midnight. So, of course, I was pleasantly surprised when he texted me for my parent's address.

Here comes the scandalous part: He showed up at my parent's house AFTER MIDNIGHT, we were unsupervised, and he didn't leave until about 5:30 am. Sorry Honor Code! You guys need to make sure no rival football teams get a hold of this information.

As usual I was taking advantage of my parent's 500 dish channels when The Beard arrived. We sat on the couch talking as I finished up the last of "The Others" (the first scary movie I ever saw in theaters as a tender young 14 year old). After that I found "The Strangers" which is pretty awesome if you're into serial killer/slasher/suspense flicks like I am. I didn't think anything of it, because I love scary movies, and we were talking over it anyway.

We were talking, laughing and telling stories and then the most miraculous thing happened - I looked down and we were holding hands FOR THE FIRST TIME. Turns out The Beard has some of the smoothest moves ever. It was so natural and normal I didn't even notice.

Finally around 5 am I started falling asleep to Poltergeist, and The Beard said he should probably go home. He kissed me for the first time and obvs it was pretty awesome. Awesome enough to block out the cheesy 80s screaming in the background. Romance at its finest.

It wasn't until a few months later when I suggested we watch Paranormal Activity that he said:

"You know, I really don't like scary movies."

"Yes you do! Remember that night at my parent's house? We watched scary movies all night! And then you kissed me! Remember? It was awesome!"

"No. I remember you making me wait through 3 scary movies so I could kiss you and go home."

Lolz. Thanks for waiting, Beard. I hope it was worth it.

In related news, if anyone wants to suggest or come watch scary movies with me - I won't make you stay till 5 am and kiss me.

Who I Am Today

These have been floating around the interwebs and I love them. I think they provide such a cool snapshot of a moment in time. So this is me, right now:

Making: progress on my Masters program - 1 course down!

Cooking: copycat recipes of my favorite foods - Slab's Rosemary Potato Bacon Pizza, Beto's California Burrito and my mom's Chili & Scones

Drinking: too much Diet Coke, and surprisingly, chocolate milk

Changing: into Victoria's Secret PINK sweats the second I walk in the door after school

Reading: "The Dinner" by Herman Koch, and getting bored. Not as good as "Gone Girl"

Wanting: oversized plaid button-downs and black ankle booties

Looking: at houses and apartments online, even though our lease is through March

Playing: too much Candy Crush

Using: my space heater! We're reunited!!

Wasting: prime napping hours on Once Upon A Time

Sewing: hahahahahahahahahahaha. no.

Wishing: I knew the future - where we'll end up, that we'll be ok, that my kids won't be ugly

Enjoying: school. REALLY enjoying it. Man, I love these kids. They are smart and stupid and fun.

Waiting: For The Beard to "graduate" in December

Liking: Ed Sheeran

Wondering: Can I really be a good YW Counselor?

Loving: Once Upon A Time

Hoping: to get a St. George trip in to see Brooke play her fall games

Marveling: at the forgiving nature and tender mercies of our Heavenly Father. This talk, in particular.

Needing: time and motivation to thoroughly clean and update our apartment

Smelling: Apple Pie Scentsy cubes

Wearing: Heels daily. Student-led conferences = parents = Danica needs to look like an adult.

Following: Glen Coco's trail of toys to the bacon treats he leaves in our bed. 

Noticing: How grown up and spiritually mature my little brother sounds

Knowing: I'm the luckiest to have such amazing family, in-laws and friends.

Thinking: this junk food and not-working-out thing is catching up to me. Ew.

Feeling: content with my life.

Bookmarking: Halloween costumes and new music.

Opening: Pinterest & Diet Coke cans, 100x a day

Giggling: girlishly over Belle/Lacey and Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold. I need help.

Praying: for inspiration to come my way this weekend.



Who are you today?

Netflix Anonymous

Now that The Beard is at school until 8 pm every night, and I have tons of reading/writing for my Master's program, I'm spending even MORE time with my best friend and true love - Netflix.

These are my latest obsessions that I need to talk about, ASAP. So watch them if you haven't and email me, because I crave analysis, gushing and discussion.

Once Upon a Time

Last Sunday, (September 15) I started watching OUAT, and today I finished Season 1.n I'm hoping to finish Season 2 before the Season 3 premiere on Sunday night. I'm literally a crazy person. I'm a goner with this show. Seriously. I'm shipping (abbreviated from relationshipping: when you obsess over a particular fictional relationship) Rumplestiltskin and Belle so hard I am nearly brought to tears just thinking about it. Ask me if I spent 20 minutes on my prep watching clips of them set to sappy love songs on YouTube. I have a problem. A real problem.

Derek

As a diehard Office fan, I also appreciate the BBC version and therefore, Ricky Gervais. However, he can be VERY offensive in a lot of his current comedy shows. I was very cautious. This show is definitely a little foul-mouthed and irreverent, but it's SO sensitive to the autistic/handicapped/elderly/otherwise different. It follows Derek, an autistic man who works at a rest home with his best friends. You will be laughing hysterically at Derek and his friends doing hilarious and inappropriate things, then be crying at the sweet, sad and poignant moments. It left me feeling uplifted - like our lives have meaning and how important it is to be kind. It honestly made me a better person. I can't wait to re-watch it in a few weeks when I'm done with OUAT.

The Killing

I got really into this show 2 summers ago and blew through it so fast. I just re-watched it alongside my bestie Katie and I'm starting the third season on Amazon Prime with her soon! So crazy and suspenseful, great cliffhangers and a shocking resolution. Perfect for people who like Law & Order, CSI, and any other crime dramas. 

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

This crazy documentary is a must-see for any sushi lover. This guy is like the god of sushi. It's cool to see how he gets his fish, cures it and carefully crafts it into thousand-dollar sushi. Sushi is his LIFE. 

Safety NOT Guaranteed

We watched this movie with our besties Brad and Eliesa and really liked it. It's quirky and suspenseful, with a great ending. We love Aubrey Plaza from Parks & Rec, and she's a similar character so we obviously approve.

Breaking Bad

I've written about this before before, sorry. We still have one whole Netflix season and then the current season until we're caught up, but HOLY FREAKING SHIZ YOU GUYS THIS SHOW! So violent. So awful. So dramatic. So crazy. So suspenseful. So insane. I've never been a huge fan of 45 minute episodes (short attention span bred by the 22 minute Office episodes) but if you want a series that will compel you entirely and has plenty of episodes up and ready to blow through, this one will not disappoint. 

Zoolander

This recent addition to Netflix needs no introduction or review. A comedy classic and total gold.

House of Cards

We got really into this show right before school started and it was awesome. It's about a congressman that gets slighted by the President and uses all of his power to exact revenge and get back on top. It's absolutely incredible - which is why it won an Emmy last night! Again, language and sexual content is over the top. Strangely, though, I feel like it helped me understand our government better than anything else in my years of education.


On our To Watch List:

• BBC Sherlock - we've heard great things, we just need to work up the courage to take on a 90 minute episode!
• Portlandia Season 2 - I love sketch comedy and making fun of hipsters
• Vampire Diaries - my sister Brooke has been trying to get me to watch it and I'm slowly getting into it
• New Girl Season 2 - one of the few shows me and The Beard like equally. I shout "WHERE THE HELL ARE MY DRIVING MOCCASINS?!" at least once a day. 
• When Strangers Click - a documentary about finding love through the internet, which has always fascinated me.
• Safe Haven - I indulge in a cheesy romance now and then. The Beard does not. 
• Sushi: The Global Catch - another sushi documentary!

What else should I be watching?

More than a Guilty Pleasure, an ASHAMED Pleasure...

My brother told me about this TV show and said I should watch it even though it was "pretty stupid and pointless."

I needed a new show, but I refused his stupid suggestion - I tried Drop Dead Diva, PLL, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, 30 Rock (I'm still trying Danica Rugg, still trying, skipping ahead to season 2), documentaries, anything.

Finally, I succumbed. This cheesy, terribly written teen drama sucked me right in.

In my defense the music is fantastic. 

So here it is. I'm a Teen Wolf-y. Wolf-er. Teeny Wolf Bopper. Ashamed 23 year old watching a terrible teen drama.

Admitting it is the first step. Watching the episodes back to back to back through multiple seasons until it's over is the next step.

To see if you think it's for you:




You can join my support group if you'd like. We don't judge. But we do eat a lot of required cupcakes.

Goodb-

I can't even finish typing the title. Don't even think about asking me to say it out loud.

I'm not really devastated. I'm just sad. I'm gonna miss it so bad. I'm scared that I'll never love anything as much ever again.

I'm nervous. I'm anxious that they won't end it exactly how I want them to. I'm so nervous to see Michael, and terrified that I won't see him.

I'm so excited to see what they do for us tonight. I'm so excited to celebrate 9 years of amazing. I'm so ready to have some closure and completion.

In honor of the greatest show ever, the true love of my life, the single thing that has best defined my personality and sense of humor, here are my top 5 Office Moments of All Time.

#5 Count Choculitis

This episode. Man. This is the notification tone when my bestie and fellow Office fan Katie texts me. Usually Office quotes. 

#4 "F#$@!!!!!"

This is the single scene that made me laugh the most I've ever laughed in my life. I can't explain why it was so funny to me. It just was. Me and Ed Budge were laughing so hard that Patti B had to stop the Tivo.

#3 The Fitness Orb

 Jim popping his Fitness Orb. CLASSIC.

#2 "He put my stuff in Jello again!"

This is the clip from the very first promo that made me LOL and know that I'd found a show that I'd love. Never looked back.

#1 Assistant TO THE Regional Manager

I don't need to explain this one. It's just a perfect culmination of everything. Throwback, frenemies, nonsense. It's perfect. And it made my cry harder than anything.

But really, this.

My Expert Opinion on How The Office Will End

We've been pretty weepy round these parts due to the finale nearing (and by WE I mean I...).

I can't even talk about it without crying. I email Katie every day about what a wreck I am, and thank goodness she understands.

I know. It's good that it's ending. It has never been the same since Michael left and it peaked clear back in seasons 2-4. I know. I get it. But it's just been this huge part of me ever since the very beginning and I just don't know how I'm gonna get over it yet.

Anyways. I try to stay away from spoilers as much as possible, but here are my predictions for how it is going to end.

The wedding at the end will be Dwight/Angela. Michael will come back (I know deep down this can't happen but I also know deep down that it would make me happier than anything in the entire universe.) to be Dwight's best man.

If the wedding isn't Dwangela, it'll be Andy (because Josh Groban is coming back) and he'll have made it big and marry someone weird. I'm thinking bad reality TV.

 

Pam will realize how much Jim loves her and what a priority the family is and will help him follow his dream with Athlead. They'll be living in Philly or LA or something cool like that.

Oscar will have a super hot gay boyfriend.

Kevin will have met someone adorable and sweet, like Lynn!

Meredith will be pretty much Meredith.

Toby will be revealed as the Scranton Strangler. Or he will end up with Nellie (ugh).

Creed will be Creed. I think he will probably end up being secretly a millionaire or something. Fake his death, run off to Bermuda. That kind of thing.

Kelly will come back married to hot Ravi. Prego. Twins.

Ryan will have a beer belly and/or track marks. He'll be single and miserable. (Can you tell I hate Ryan?) Or he'll have some super annoying job like with an MLM or something.

Stanley will have retired and be on his next wife. Happy as a clam.

Erin and Pete will be together. Whatever. Who cares about them.

Darrell will be killing it with Athlead and have some hot athlete/model girlfriend.

Clark will have a notable amount of zingers and have some kind of run-in with Jan. Yesssssss.

I know Roy is supposed to be a guest star, so it's either going to have flashbacks or... it better be flashbacks.

I'm so sad to see this go. But I'm more glad that it's been a part of my life for these last 9 years. I don't know how I'll grieve or say goodbye yet. But I'm workin on it. :)

Creep Central

No, this post isn't about another creepy BYU date. Sorry. Maybe I'll dish out a few more of those soon.

This is about the creepiest thing about me, Danica Anne.

Most of you probably know I'm a geek right? I own more Star Wars paraphernalia than your average citizen. The guy at Gold's Gym actually referred to me as "Star Wars Girl" on Monday because I'm always wearing a Star Wars shirt to the gym. I was flattered.

Many of you know that I like gore and violence - of the zombie flavor in particular. Walking Dead, World War Z, Quarantine, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, etc.

But I have a love/obsession even worse than these. Definitely the creepiest thing about me.

Since high school I've been in love with the Thomas Harris "Hannibal" series. Yes, the one with the cannibal serial killer. The more popular movies (Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Manhunter/Red Dragon/Hannibal Rising) were based on his amazing books - which I've read many times.(I own them all if anyone is interested in reading them with me?.. no? .... no one?)

Obviously I wouldn't say I LOVE the cannibalism. I could definitely live without it. That's not what I'm there for. I love the mystery and suspense, the crime drama, the psychological elements. I love the characterization and how Dr. Hannibal Lecter becomes almost a protagonist.  I love the philosophical questions the books pose about what is "good" and the struggle to develop and follow a personal moral compass.

I love them. I love these books and movies. I love the story. I have an entire playlist dedicated to it. I've read a disgusting amount of fan fiction.

So I was beyond stoked to see that NBC has picked up a pilot season of the show Hannibal - about the relationship between Hannibal and famed detective Will Graham. This will fill the open space between the end of Hannibal Rising and the flashbacks in Red Dragon of Will catching Hannibal.

Here is the problem. The Beard is somehow morally opposed to violent films about cannibalism. He's adopted The Office, Star Wars, Harry Potter and even Star Trek. But he draws the line at Hannibal. I think it's pretty rude.

What I'm trying to say here is that the Beard needs a hobby that gets him out of the house for an hour or two each weeks so I can watch my creepy, morally objectionable TV show. Someone needs to start some sort of Fantasy Baseball Anonymous meetings or weekly Starcraft practice.

I'm also looking for best supporting actors in the role of Danica's Creepy Friend Who Watches Hannibal. And Maybe Reads the Books, Too.

Any takers?

Watching Lately - An Ode to Netflix

I'll never give you up, Netflix. Never. You're like a warm blanket, comfort food, a hot date, an exciting adventure and the best class I've ever taken all in one. (On a related note - Hulu Plus can suck it!)

Obviously we are constantly rotating through all the seasons of The Office. {and by 'we' I mean 'I', averaging 4-5 episodes a day, working on my next project - an in-depth analysis of the show to help me grieve its end.}

But besides that, here are our latest faves on the 'Flix. (hate that I called it that)


Happy - an interesting, inspiring documentary that I watched when I was sad a few weeks ago. These filmmakers travel around and interview people about what makes them happy. They even go into the psychology and biology of happiness. It's really cool. It's basically just the Gospel - serve, have enough but not too much, live with purpose, etc.






 Breaking Bad - the Beard and I needed a new show to watch together that was "new." The Beard somehow gets bored of watching The Office over and over. How? Anyway, we caved to Breaking Bad fad. Wow. I kind of hate it, but can't stop watching. It's so engaging and crazy every single episode! You hate and love everyone. I've cried, laughed, dry-heaved, sworn, screamed, smiled and grimaced. The great thing is that there are tons of episodes and you never want to stop, so it's a great marathon-watching show.




 Freakonomics - The Beard just finished listening to the audiobook at work, so we decided to watch it on a whim. It's so interesting! Very cool to see things a different way - even if it has some depressing thoughts about education. See/read this especially if you like Malcolm Gladwell, stats, and social experiments. 






Aziz Ansari: Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening - I really love stand-up, but the Beard kind of hates it. We were able to compromise on this one because he loves Tom Haverford from Parks & Rec, and that's basically Aziz in real life. This stand up is hilarious, but be warned - way, way, way too much cursing and sexual innuendo. But if you can't figure that out from the title... maybe put down the laptop and go read a book?

The Truth About Zombies - Very interesting scientific approach to zombies. It ranges from epidemic research to survival techniques to Haitian Voodoo. Max Brooks, the author of the best zombie book ever "World War Z" (coming soon with Brad Pitt yayayayaya!) is a narrator and perfect. The Beard was unimpressed.

"How can you call yourself a 'Zombie Expert' with a straight face?!"

Portlandia - Obviously you can make fun of hipsters to no end, and obviously I'm gonna like it. I've never been to Portland, but my Oregonian coworker says it is spot-on. Season 2 just went up a month or so ago, so if you like awkward humor, sketch comedy, and making fun of those multiple varieties of hipster that make our lives miserable, check it out. 

On my "To Watch List"

• Vampire Diaries at the persistent request of my sister
• Firefly because I'm a nerd and want to watch it
• The Queen of Versailles - Rainn Wilson tweeted about it so it went right in my queue
• America: The Story of Us - I've watched 3 of the episodes and they are AWESOME. I use them in my US History classes all the time. I want to finish the series.
• ESPN 30 for 30 - Guess who put all of these in the queue?

Anything else on Netflix I should watch?

My Little "Bro"-ny

When you get married and move in with someone, there is a learning curve. Not only do you need to learn to schedule sleeping, showering, eating, laundry, and all those basic life things, but you also learn all of the weird little things that are part of your spouse's identity. Often these things weren't super obvious when you were dating. SURPRISE.

For Ryan, I imagine he had to get used to the way I spaz run/yell when I realize I'm running late or excited, my enthusiastic Just Dance every day after school, and how vital it is that I never get cold. I turn into the White Witch.

For me, I would have never guessed I would ever know so much about the online gaming community. I knew The Beard played StarCraft when we dated, but usually he did that after he got home from hanging out with me. Once we were married and living together, it became part of my life too. I can now proudly say that I know the entire timeline of Blizzard Games, I've played League of Legends (and I'm terrible at it) and I understand the legacy of Tassadar.

But here's the most disturbing thing. My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic. Yes. You read that right. Apparently, and I still can't explain this, the active demographic of viewers for this show are males age 15-35. Gamers.

Does this make sense to anyone? No. Because it's inexplicable. Before you ask me, no, there aren't any sexual innuendos, secret meanings, coded messages, etc. It's a real cartoon aimed at little girls. But somehow these men started watching it and love it.

They fondly refer to themselves as "Bronies."

I watched part of an episode on Netflix with the Beard on Saturday. It's a pretty cute show, all about the magic of friendship, being nice, being yourself and all that jazz. Still, though, I don't understand why these Bronies keep watching it and more importantly, HOW IN THE WORLD DID THEY START WATCHING IT?



This is a real thing, you guys. I don't understand it. I can't explain it. But I love The Beard. Even if he watches little girl cartoons. I watch 60s Star Trek and love Hannibal the Cannibal, so I guess I can't talk...

Let's Get Down(ton)

I succumbed. I was finally seduced by the hype of the illustrious "Downton Abbey." I think I expected it to be much better because of said hype, but I enjoyed it.

Reasons Why You Should Watch Downton Abbey:

1. Season 1 is on demand on Netflix. This is great because you can knock out the entire season in one weekend like I did. Much preferred. Season 2 concluded on TV this past Sunday, so hopefully we'll see that up on Netflix in a month or so, as it's already on DVD somehow. [Magic.]
2. You will hate more people than you like on this show, but somehow still love it. I found myself cursing at the screen constantly, "Mrs. O'Brien! You little *(^%%$!!!!" and "I can't believe Thomas is such a *^*&9!"
3. One of my teacher friends commented "You just feel smarter when you watch it." Agreed.
4. Oh, you love bodices AND flapper style? What a coincidence.
5. Unrequited love, the likes of which hasn't been seen since Jim and Pam. I'm an unabashed "shipper."

Until I can watch Season 2 on PBS or Netflix, I'm kind of looking for something new (in addition to Psych, which we recently started watching casually). Suggestions would be appreciated. Otherwise I'll be forced to continue watching old Reno 911 and Gossip Girl episodes until my IQ dissipates irreversibly.

Mad to the Bone

Ryan and I recently became 100% addicted to Mad Men. Here's how it happened.

Over Christmas break, we started Friday Night Lights (which is awesome by the way. At least before Season 3 while the show was still actually ABOUT football and not abortion). We powered through it in less than 3 weeks. It was great. Everyone had gone home for the holidays, and we sat on the couch with no curfew and nowhere to be for hours and hours. We loved it.

After that, we watched all of Parks & Rec (Ryan hadn't seen many of them), and obviously plenty of The Office. We even tried a little Veronica Mars and a few episodes of Dexter. But nothing was OUR show yet.

Arrested Development came closest. Classic. I can't say enough good things about Arrested Development. If you've never seen it, I don't know why you're reading my blog and not watching it right now. Between Hulu and Netflix online streaming you have no excuse.

But then we were married, with tons of boring married time to fill. Kids? Psh. No. We're looking for a TV show. I noticed that Mad Men recently became available, so we decided to give it a try.

AND IT BLEW OUR MINDS.

The style. The class. The chivalry and chauvinism. The drama. The love. The betrayal. The hope. The comedy. The irony. The heartbreak. The sarcasm. All of it unreal. It's really like no other show I've ever seen. I gush about their clothes and makeup every single episode. I still melt when I see Don Draper opening doors and lighting cigarettes and taking coats from women. (When did we lose such courtesy in society?) Sterlings' smooth charm and biting wit is fantastic. Even the annoying characters (Pete Campbell) leave you with a false sense of friendship, like  you know them in real life and their douchebaggery is occasionally excusable.

True. All they do is drink, smoke and cheat on their wives. But it's in a suprisingly conservative manner. Oh? There are consequences for drinking too much and adultery? This show demonstrates a part of that. Definitely glamorized. But awful things happen to these men for their awful decisions on occasion, much like real life. (Not smoking, though. Science really hadn't caught up with it yet. I feel like I got secondhand smoke just from watching it.) It shows semi-real life in a watchable and interesting way, sparing no characters or emotions.

But my favorite part? Her.

Joan. Joanie. The color and life of the show. She is the girl to go to. At one point she left the office (covered in blood, not her own, no less), and I was considering not watching anymore. Thankfully, she returned, all her charm and wit with her. I love her confidence. Her active mind. Her comfortable demeanor and earned respect with the big wig men. And I LOVE her curves. A girl after my own heart (and body). Who would pick a straight boyish physique over her red hot (pun intended) curves? I love her. She's fantastic. Watch it, if only for Joan.

A few weeks ago Courtney gave me the best compliment of my life. She said "You're totally a Joan." Tears to my eyes, you guys. Tears to my eyes.