As Dry as the Books to Which I so Desperately Cling

Bonus points to anyone who can name that movie/book.

My skin is dry. Incidentally, I also love books so it was kind of perfect.

As it is warming up and I'm kind of sick of boots and leggings (I'll never REALLY be sick of leggings. Come on.), I decided it's time to take care of this wrinkled, fading, scaly skin/nails/hair of mine.

This week at the grocery store I impulsively bought the Garnier-Fructis Moroccan Oil because it was tiny and on sale and I'd spent every in-between moment at school picking at my dreadfully straw-like split ends. I'm the Tiger Woods of impulse buys - really good and no listening to my conscience. (zing!)

I'm sold. Seriously. I shampooed and conditioned my hair normally, then wrung it out and applied about 2 teaspoons into my damp locks, combing it through with my fingers and then wrapping it up in a towel for a few minutes.

Effects: My hair is pretty straight, so I can't speak to it's relaxing powers, but my hair dried silky soft and there is noticeably less damage on the lower third of my strands. I accidentally deposited too much on one part of my scalp (I was trying to concentrate on the bottom half, but failed) so it was slightly greasy - but one blast of my brand new Paul Mitchell Dry Shampoo solved that it under 5 seconds. Yahtzee.

The week before, I was wearing a tee shirt and looked down at my normally dry/scaly forearms to see DANDRUFF. Well, not dandruff. But my skin was literally flaking off. It was disgusting.

Enter Skin Milk. Purchased at our fancy local Smith's (super cheap), this body cream is thick, creamy and plain. With a slight vanilla smell and the real milk proteins, it made my skin feel (and smell) heavenly pretty much instantly. I  spread it on generously while my skin is still damp from the shower to lock in moisture. My skin has much more life and feels less like an alligator. The Beard approves. Glen wants to lick it because he thinks it's frosting.

As for my peeling, dry, hangnail prone fingertips - it's all about the cuticle oil and cutting down on harsh nail polish removers. I try to only use nail polish remover about every 2 weeks, giving my nail beds a few days to chill before very carefully polishing them so the color will last and not chip. Every couple of days I dot a drop of Orly cuticle oil or cuticle lotion on my beds and trim off any dead skin.

If you get peeling nails or lots of dead skin hang nails along your nail beds this is a necessity.

On a semi-related note:

Do not get L'Oreal Sublime Bronze self-tanner. Don't do it. It might be on sale. You might think "Wow. L'Oreal is a pretty good brand. This is probably a step up from my Jergens standby. I'll give it a try. Only $4, so it can't hurt, right?"

Wrong. It can. It can make you look like you have hickies and also got attacked by an army of cinnamon-sugar toast. I really was trying to be careful too. (It looked worse in person. Trust me.)

The Jamba Juice girl made me realize what my students were whispering about. It wasn't Justin Bieber. It was my "hickies." Yikes.

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Sleepy Morning Products

I love getting ready in the mornings. I love it. The Beard and I fight about it every Sunday before church (the only time we are getting ready around the same time).

"Ryan! Get up! It's your turn to shower. We're gonna be late!"

"You are still in there!"

"I'm waiting for you to come get in!"

"I'm not getting out of bed until you are done in there."

"I will literally spend as much time getting ready as you allow me."

"That's retarded."

The Beard has a brisk 20 minute routine from waking up to being ready. Everyday. It's not quite that simple for me. I COULD get ready in 20. Easily. But I don't always. On a lazy Sunday, getting ready for date night, or any time where I am not in a rush I love to spend extra time on my routine. It's so zen and therapeutic.

Well this year, my commute increased from 5 minutes to 30. My school starts 10 minutes earlier. So now I don't have the luxury of rolling out of bed 15 minutes before school starts. Hence, my routine has changed, and I have some new beauty products to prove it.

First, I'm slightly embarrassed but also pleased by my first beauty discovery. I originally bought it for the Beard at his request. One morning I was running late and needed to wash my hair. The Beard's Pert Moisture 2 in 1 Shampoo/Conditioner. This is blasphemy for a girl who has used her mom's Paul Mitchell products her entire life.

 

Later that day I found myself running my fingers through my hair over and over. It was soft. It was shiny. And dare I say, it was sleek? Wow, Pert 2-in-1. You changed everything.

Garnier Anti-Dark Circle roller is pretty fun to use. Dark circles are my big beauty problem, and I've never found a product that works 100% for me. This product is pretty sweet because the metal ball feels cold and soothing, which helps to wake up my eyes. It goes on light and sheer, which is great because I can't stand heavy products. It definitely improves my circles and looks natural, but I still layer a tiny bit of concealer over it.

In an effort to distract from my dark circles and make me look fresh and awake, color in my face is necessary. I used to love Maybelline's Dream Mousse, but now it's the bouncy blush and it SUCKS. I've upgraded to L'Oreal creme blush. Unfortunately more expensive, but I like it better. It's a bigger pot, less shimmer and blends even easier. I'm in love.

 

Highlighter eyeshadow is the quickest and easiest part of my routine. I brush Mary Kay's Crystalline or Spun Silk under my brow, on the inner corner of my eye, and directly under my pupil on the lower lid to open my eyes up.

No way am I waking up early to wash and blow out my hair every day. No way. Too lazy. Plus my hair is super clean, rarely oily and can go days without washing. My new favorite? Dry Shampoo. I thought it was only for oily scalps. Turns out its a saving grace for me, and flat-haired girls everywhere. I love the Suave Keratin kind. Cheap and necessary.

My weekly routine now is to give myself a real live, careful, sectioned blowout. Not just blasting my whole head until it's dry, but the real deal (great directions here). This way, my clean hair looks a million percent better and lasts longer. I usually do this on a Saturday or Sunday. By Tuesday my hair starts to look limp, so I pump it up with dry shampoo along my part, in my bangs and wherever I need volume.

Wednesday or Thursday I'll rock a bun or pony as my hair gets dirtier. I'll wash my hair at night and put rollers in it in the morning, or wash it quick (Thanks Pert!) and twist it damp into a low chignon.

I can sleep as late as 6 am and still get ready, take out Glen and double check all my crap to cruise out the door at 6:45. Thank the lord for beauty products.