Netflix Anonymous

Now that The Beard is at school until 8 pm every night, and I have tons of reading/writing for my Master's program, I'm spending even MORE time with my best friend and true love - Netflix.

These are my latest obsessions that I need to talk about, ASAP. So watch them if you haven't and email me, because I crave analysis, gushing and discussion.

Once Upon a Time

Last Sunday, (September 15) I started watching OUAT, and today I finished Season 1.n I'm hoping to finish Season 2 before the Season 3 premiere on Sunday night. I'm literally a crazy person. I'm a goner with this show. Seriously. I'm shipping (abbreviated from relationshipping: when you obsess over a particular fictional relationship) Rumplestiltskin and Belle so hard I am nearly brought to tears just thinking about it. Ask me if I spent 20 minutes on my prep watching clips of them set to sappy love songs on YouTube. I have a problem. A real problem.

Derek

As a diehard Office fan, I also appreciate the BBC version and therefore, Ricky Gervais. However, he can be VERY offensive in a lot of his current comedy shows. I was very cautious. This show is definitely a little foul-mouthed and irreverent, but it's SO sensitive to the autistic/handicapped/elderly/otherwise different. It follows Derek, an autistic man who works at a rest home with his best friends. You will be laughing hysterically at Derek and his friends doing hilarious and inappropriate things, then be crying at the sweet, sad and poignant moments. It left me feeling uplifted - like our lives have meaning and how important it is to be kind. It honestly made me a better person. I can't wait to re-watch it in a few weeks when I'm done with OUAT.

The Killing

I got really into this show 2 summers ago and blew through it so fast. I just re-watched it alongside my bestie Katie and I'm starting the third season on Amazon Prime with her soon! So crazy and suspenseful, great cliffhangers and a shocking resolution. Perfect for people who like Law & Order, CSI, and any other crime dramas. 

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

This crazy documentary is a must-see for any sushi lover. This guy is like the god of sushi. It's cool to see how he gets his fish, cures it and carefully crafts it into thousand-dollar sushi. Sushi is his LIFE. 

Safety NOT Guaranteed

We watched this movie with our besties Brad and Eliesa and really liked it. It's quirky and suspenseful, with a great ending. We love Aubrey Plaza from Parks & Rec, and she's a similar character so we obviously approve.

Breaking Bad

I've written about this before before, sorry. We still have one whole Netflix season and then the current season until we're caught up, but HOLY FREAKING SHIZ YOU GUYS THIS SHOW! So violent. So awful. So dramatic. So crazy. So suspenseful. So insane. I've never been a huge fan of 45 minute episodes (short attention span bred by the 22 minute Office episodes) but if you want a series that will compel you entirely and has plenty of episodes up and ready to blow through, this one will not disappoint. 

Zoolander

This recent addition to Netflix needs no introduction or review. A comedy classic and total gold.

House of Cards

We got really into this show right before school started and it was awesome. It's about a congressman that gets slighted by the President and uses all of his power to exact revenge and get back on top. It's absolutely incredible - which is why it won an Emmy last night! Again, language and sexual content is over the top. Strangely, though, I feel like it helped me understand our government better than anything else in my years of education.


On our To Watch List:

• BBC Sherlock - we've heard great things, we just need to work up the courage to take on a 90 minute episode!
• Portlandia Season 2 - I love sketch comedy and making fun of hipsters
• Vampire Diaries - my sister Brooke has been trying to get me to watch it and I'm slowly getting into it
• New Girl Season 2 - one of the few shows me and The Beard like equally. I shout "WHERE THE HELL ARE MY DRIVING MOCCASINS?!" at least once a day. 
• When Strangers Click - a documentary about finding love through the internet, which has always fascinated me.
• Safe Haven - I indulge in a cheesy romance now and then. The Beard does not. 
• Sushi: The Global Catch - another sushi documentary!

What else should I be watching?

Just Call Me Amanda Bynes

Mostly just because that's what my life feels like right now. Do you ever feel like literally everything in your life is going fundamentally wrong? Well I do.

And I'm guessing that's how Amanda feels right now. Hang in there girl. You are absolutely crazy, but I really loved All That.

 

If anyone wants to go on a cupcake run, I could really use it. Text me and be amazed at how quickly I can demolish one. 

Six more days people. 

Goodb-

I can't even finish typing the title. Don't even think about asking me to say it out loud.

I'm not really devastated. I'm just sad. I'm gonna miss it so bad. I'm scared that I'll never love anything as much ever again.

I'm nervous. I'm anxious that they won't end it exactly how I want them to. I'm so nervous to see Michael, and terrified that I won't see him.

I'm so excited to see what they do for us tonight. I'm so excited to celebrate 9 years of amazing. I'm so ready to have some closure and completion.

In honor of the greatest show ever, the true love of my life, the single thing that has best defined my personality and sense of humor, here are my top 5 Office Moments of All Time.

#5 Count Choculitis

This episode. Man. This is the notification tone when my bestie and fellow Office fan Katie texts me. Usually Office quotes. 

#4 "F#$@!!!!!"

This is the single scene that made me laugh the most I've ever laughed in my life. I can't explain why it was so funny to me. It just was. Me and Ed Budge were laughing so hard that Patti B had to stop the Tivo.

#3 The Fitness Orb

 Jim popping his Fitness Orb. CLASSIC.

#2 "He put my stuff in Jello again!"

This is the clip from the very first promo that made me LOL and know that I'd found a show that I'd love. Never looked back.

#1 Assistant TO THE Regional Manager

I don't need to explain this one. It's just a perfect culmination of everything. Throwback, frenemies, nonsense. It's perfect. And it made my cry harder than anything.

But really, this.

My Expert Opinion on How The Office Will End

We've been pretty weepy round these parts due to the finale nearing (and by WE I mean I...).

I can't even talk about it without crying. I email Katie every day about what a wreck I am, and thank goodness she understands.

I know. It's good that it's ending. It has never been the same since Michael left and it peaked clear back in seasons 2-4. I know. I get it. But it's just been this huge part of me ever since the very beginning and I just don't know how I'm gonna get over it yet.

Anyways. I try to stay away from spoilers as much as possible, but here are my predictions for how it is going to end.

The wedding at the end will be Dwight/Angela. Michael will come back (I know deep down this can't happen but I also know deep down that it would make me happier than anything in the entire universe.) to be Dwight's best man.

If the wedding isn't Dwangela, it'll be Andy (because Josh Groban is coming back) and he'll have made it big and marry someone weird. I'm thinking bad reality TV.

 

Pam will realize how much Jim loves her and what a priority the family is and will help him follow his dream with Athlead. They'll be living in Philly or LA or something cool like that.

Oscar will have a super hot gay boyfriend.

Kevin will have met someone adorable and sweet, like Lynn!

Meredith will be pretty much Meredith.

Toby will be revealed as the Scranton Strangler. Or he will end up with Nellie (ugh).

Creed will be Creed. I think he will probably end up being secretly a millionaire or something. Fake his death, run off to Bermuda. That kind of thing.

Kelly will come back married to hot Ravi. Prego. Twins.

Ryan will have a beer belly and/or track marks. He'll be single and miserable. (Can you tell I hate Ryan?) Or he'll have some super annoying job like with an MLM or something.

Stanley will have retired and be on his next wife. Happy as a clam.

Erin and Pete will be together. Whatever. Who cares about them.

Darrell will be killing it with Athlead and have some hot athlete/model girlfriend.

Clark will have a notable amount of zingers and have some kind of run-in with Jan. Yesssssss.

I know Roy is supposed to be a guest star, so it's either going to have flashbacks or... it better be flashbacks.

I'm so sad to see this go. But I'm more glad that it's been a part of my life for these last 9 years. I don't know how I'll grieve or say goodbye yet. But I'm workin on it. :)

Watching Lately - An Ode to Netflix

I'll never give you up, Netflix. Never. You're like a warm blanket, comfort food, a hot date, an exciting adventure and the best class I've ever taken all in one. (On a related note - Hulu Plus can suck it!)

Obviously we are constantly rotating through all the seasons of The Office. {and by 'we' I mean 'I', averaging 4-5 episodes a day, working on my next project - an in-depth analysis of the show to help me grieve its end.}

But besides that, here are our latest faves on the 'Flix. (hate that I called it that)


Happy - an interesting, inspiring documentary that I watched when I was sad a few weeks ago. These filmmakers travel around and interview people about what makes them happy. They even go into the psychology and biology of happiness. It's really cool. It's basically just the Gospel - serve, have enough but not too much, live with purpose, etc.






 Breaking Bad - the Beard and I needed a new show to watch together that was "new." The Beard somehow gets bored of watching The Office over and over. How? Anyway, we caved to Breaking Bad fad. Wow. I kind of hate it, but can't stop watching. It's so engaging and crazy every single episode! You hate and love everyone. I've cried, laughed, dry-heaved, sworn, screamed, smiled and grimaced. The great thing is that there are tons of episodes and you never want to stop, so it's a great marathon-watching show.




 Freakonomics - The Beard just finished listening to the audiobook at work, so we decided to watch it on a whim. It's so interesting! Very cool to see things a different way - even if it has some depressing thoughts about education. See/read this especially if you like Malcolm Gladwell, stats, and social experiments. 






Aziz Ansari: Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening - I really love stand-up, but the Beard kind of hates it. We were able to compromise on this one because he loves Tom Haverford from Parks & Rec, and that's basically Aziz in real life. This stand up is hilarious, but be warned - way, way, way too much cursing and sexual innuendo. But if you can't figure that out from the title... maybe put down the laptop and go read a book?

The Truth About Zombies - Very interesting scientific approach to zombies. It ranges from epidemic research to survival techniques to Haitian Voodoo. Max Brooks, the author of the best zombie book ever "World War Z" (coming soon with Brad Pitt yayayayaya!) is a narrator and perfect. The Beard was unimpressed.

"How can you call yourself a 'Zombie Expert' with a straight face?!"

Portlandia - Obviously you can make fun of hipsters to no end, and obviously I'm gonna like it. I've never been to Portland, but my Oregonian coworker says it is spot-on. Season 2 just went up a month or so ago, so if you like awkward humor, sketch comedy, and making fun of those multiple varieties of hipster that make our lives miserable, check it out. 

On my "To Watch List"

• Vampire Diaries at the persistent request of my sister
• Firefly because I'm a nerd and want to watch it
• The Queen of Versailles - Rainn Wilson tweeted about it so it went right in my queue
• America: The Story of Us - I've watched 3 of the episodes and they are AWESOME. I use them in my US History classes all the time. I want to finish the series.
• ESPN 30 for 30 - Guess who put all of these in the queue?

Anything else on Netflix I should watch?

Happy Birthday Mr. President (Beard)!

You are the Jim to my Pam.

The Andy to my April.

The Han Solo to my Leia. 

The Kirk to my Spock.

The Samwise to my Frodo. 

 

The father to my Glen Coco and future baby/puppy Holdaways. 

My rock, my relief and my very best friend. 

I'm so glad I tricked you into marrying me. 

Happy Birthday Beard! Love you!

Dear NBC: An Open Letter from a Humble Fan

Dear NBC/Writers of The Office:

I love you. I love your show. I love your work. I'm sure you get fan letters all the time. "Let me be an extra!" "I want to come on the show!" "Can I have the Jello mold used to put Dwight's stapler in Jello?" But you probably don't get many letters from someone who has been a diligent follower since age 14. On two separate occasions I've actually DREAMT full-length original episodes. At a job interview a few weeks ago I was miserably unprepared for a question about basic psychology. But what happened? I instantly thought of Jim conditioning Dwight to expect mints at the sound of his computer powering down. I answered "Operant Conditioning is blah blah blah." This is just one example. The Office has been an integral part of my life since Season One. Even when everyone said The Office would never be good without Michael, I stuck with it and still enjoyed it immensely.

I hope this has earned me at least some credibility and respect. At least enough to present a suggestion for you. This is something I've thought on various occasions throughout my Office fandom career. Here goes:

I am not a prude. I curse too much. I watch R-rated movies. However, I frequently find myself questioning the content of The Office. Oscar is gay, and that's part of the show. The occasional reference to intimate sexual relationships is fine with me. I thought you did a great job with the Dwangela relationship. You've been tasteful with Oscar, and I appreciate that. Michael and Holly was ultimately a geeky relationship, and you used their intimacy to enhance that, instead of to be crude. I loved it.

Last week's episode "Angry Andy" violated this successful pattern of risque content used for classic Office humor. Instead of using Andy's impotence to build the finally-requited Erin-and-Andy relationship, or to play up his manager relationship with Robert or Nellie, it was this major feature of the episode that took the place of the glaring awkwardness of Nellie taking Andy's job, everyone hating her, Robert California doing nothing about it and no one sticking up for Andy except his girlfriend. It feels juvenile and irresponsible for you to choose to focus on something risque and intimate for a major portion of the episode rather than address the huge gaps you created in the story line.

Sure, anything you have Dwight do is going to be hilarious. He's straight currency. But overall, it wasn't that funny. The shock factor of using the word "erection" on primetime television may have given you the impression that it was humorous. Quite honestly, these episodes that focus on something racy for a prolonged period of time are no one's favorite.

Season Two - Sexual Harassment.

Season Three - Gay Witch Hunt, and a little bit of Ben Franklin

Season Six - Body Language, maybe a little bit of Secret Santa

Season Seven - Sex Ed

Season Eight - Angry Andy

These episodes are few and far between, but they stood out to me. Mostly because I believe people judged ME based on those episodes. They were crude, gross and largely unfunny. I hated that people judged your brilliant and hilarious show based on those few, cheap episodes. I hated that people thought that I must be one of those lowest-common-denominator people that wants to see everything scandalous, racy, stupid and empty. If I wanted that, I'd watch Jersey Shore.

But I don't. I want the awkward, intelligent design of a classic Office script. I want Michael grilling his foot. I want Jim's muttered sarcasm and facial expressions. I want Pam's earnest innocence. I want Stanley's irritated indifference. I want Dwight countering popular opinion with a rigid and uncompromising opinion and inability to relate to his coworkers. I want the ostracized Toby recognizing his futility.

I want the one-liners, brilliant design and comedic timing of awkwardness that leaves me feeling happy, not embarrassed. I want to proudly rep your show to my [adult] family and friends. I want to laugh when I cringe, not squirm in discomfort.

In essence, I want you to rise above the Jersey Shores. The Real Housewives of Narnia. The content-less comedies that last one season on Comedy Central. I know you're nowhere near that, but these handful of episodes make me nervous that it's the direction you'll fall - the path of least resistance. You're better than that. You're so much more than that. Be more. Be better. Be The Office.

I know you can do it.

Sincerely,


Danica Holdaway
Professional Office Fan

Think Outside the Box

I've never been a fan of weird singles ward things - ward prayer, dessert parties, FHE at the bishopric's house, speed dating, etc. So naturally I avoided the Munch & Mingle. I liked to lay low in a singles ward. Sure, I went. I did my Visiting Teaching (usually). I accepted and magnified callings. But I would often go to other wards, leave after sacrament and avoided activities at all costs.

When The Beard and I were dating pretty seriously in the spring, I came around more (having a boyfriend is a perfect excuse for hanging with your roommates and being antisocial). I still didn't go to activities, but when my roommate Tiffany got called to run the Munch & Mingle every week, I stuck around to support her. Bad idea.

One Sunday as I was about to grab my vegetable plate and sneak home, the fellowshipping committee guy (don't you love these made-up callings?) cornered me.

"Danica, right? Hi I'm fellowshipping guy. We have this little 'Get to know you' form that the Bishop wants everyone in the ward to fill out. I don't think we've gotten one for you yet."

Nope. You haven't. Been in the ward 6 months and almost made it out scot-free. "Oh? Hmmm. Ok..... So..... do you want me to...... fill it out? .... Now?"

"YES!" - pure exuberance as he hands me the form. I sigh and sit down. I hate stuff like this, normally. But you have to understand. At this point, The Beard and I were getting engaged in the future (I wish it had been the NEAR) and we were already planning on going to his ward's incredibly awkward Marriage Prep class (a story for another blog post). So this little survey is even more pointless. Hence, my answers

Name: Danica Anne

Age: no comment

Hometown: Diagon Alley

Current House: The Dream Palace

Major: Molding of Minds

Calling: Monday night babysitting (I was FHE mom. Also, if the Bishop doesn't already know this, I don't want to tell him!)

Favorite Color: Black. It is the most Dominant.

Favorite Food: Water.

Favorite Movie: Phantom of the Opera. (Ok, that one was real. I couldn't betray them.)

Favorite Season: Salt.

Favorite Sport: Jousting

Favorite Hobby: Sleep

I know. I'm a smart a**. But then to my surprise I see a classic "Check the Box" question at the end.

"Are you dating someone? Yes/No."

Uh.... What? Why would the Bishop need to know that? You're more likely to land in the Penalty Box? Maybe to know if we need a section of Marriage & Family Relations? I don't know. I thought that was weird and personal. BUT if it meant I didn't have to go to the stupid speed dating crap, fine by me. I checked "YES."

I handed it back and snuck out as quickly as possible, grinning to myself. Tiffany came home excited and confused. "I saw that your form was in the date box....?"

"The Date Box? What is that? No, I filled out a form for the Bishop."

"That's the Date Box."

"What in the h*ll is the Date Box?"

She preceded to explain that the Date Box is where everyone in the ward is mixed together like some depressing single-life gumbo, and people are matched together for a date. It's ridiculous. It's the lowest form of singles ward functions. I felt relieved that I had checked the box "YES." That saved me. Surely they'd take my form out. And even if they didn't, my ludicrous answers made me seem psychotic, so no one would call me anyways. Right?

Wrong.

Thursday night of that week, The Beard and I were out at my parent's house for Office Night. My phone starts ringing from an unrecognized number. I had been getting calls from schools about interviews over that entire week, so I'd just been answering everything instead of screening calls. Obviously this wasn't a Junior High calling at 8 pm on a Thursday. But I answered.

"Hi, is this Danica?"

"Uh, yeah this is she."

"Hi. This is random dude from the ward.... I pulled you out of the Date Box and I was wondering.... are you available Saturday night?"

My eyes widen and The Beard can hear everything on the other line. He starts laughing and I am taken aback.

"Oh!.... um... well...."

"You're seeing someone."

"Well, yes," I laugh, "I'm sorry! I checked the box on the form..." I trail off, mumbling and awkward.

"Oh. Ok. That's too bad. Well. Maybe some other time. Have a good night!"

Maybe some other time?! Ryan is laughing and I'm equal parts embarrassed and amused. Did he not see the checked box? Did he think it wasn't for real? Did he check my Facebook and see that I wasn't "in a relationship?" There's no way he was turned on by my love for "jousting," was he? How did this happen?

Classic. This is Provo. And I couldn't be happier to be married.

22

When I was little, I wanted to be old. When I'm old, I'm sure I'll want to be little.

But right now, I'm completely content. Here's 22 reasons why.

1. I'm alive!

2. The Gospel in my life

3. My everything. (Ryan)

4. My incredible family that doubled over the summer and just keeps growing. :)

5. The Office (see babe? I put you above The Office!!!!)

6. Arrested Development

7. Besties. I don't know what I'd do without Eliesa, Katie, Jeanette & Courtney. Even if we go days/weeks without seeing eachother/talking.

8. Tina Fey. (I'm reading her book right now and loving it.Also, Mean Girls had a huge impact on me)

9. My job. I love teaching. There must be something wrong with me.

10. The kids. Crazy? Weird? Gross? Selfish? Lazy? Lovable.

11. Orville Redenbacher's Pop-Up Microwave Popcorn bowl. Also comes with free redbox rentals.

12. Just Dance 2. The only way I work out anymore. I'm so freaking good, you guys.

13. Twitter. You may call me an addict. But I really, REALLY love Twitter. (Follow Me.)

14. CDP. If you have to ask what that means you don't get it. (It means Classy Dinner Party)

15. Allure & Elle Magazine on Newsstand and the new iCloud. The Beard is introducing me to a whole new world of technology.

16. Star Wars Collector's Edition. Best early birthday present of all time.

17. Pinterest. You get it.

18. Our cute little house that I'm slowly learning to domesticate (pictures to come... someday).

19. Being done with school. Every time I see my friends tweet/post about homework, it makes me sick for a second before I remember "suckas!"

20. Missionaries. Jessica, Justin, Jake, Jesslyn. Wow. Just now realizing all my missionaries are Js. Love you all. Thank you for your great example of selfless service.

21. Kindle and iBooks for iPad. Welcome back, Bookworm Danica. We've missed you since 2008.

22. Knowing there are great years to follow these past amazing 22.

Thanks for all your love! I love you all!

The Terrible Awful

Ok this isn't the real Terrible Awful (go read The Help if you haven't yet. Right now), but it is A terrible awful. And I've been paranoid ever since.

Yesterday morning I was blow-drying my hair. You know. Doo-doo, just a-blow-dryin my wet hairs, doo-doo.... when I see something on the floor a few inches from my toes. I wasn't sure if it was a some weeds I'd tracked in from outside, or something more sinister. So, naturally, I give it a little blow with my dryer. IT MOVED. IT MOVED THOSE GODFORSAKEN EIGHT LEGS.

I shouted. But my in the adjacent room didn't wake up, because my voice lacks the decibel volume of a KISS concert. I flatter myself that I usually don't startle too easily, but spiders have never been my thing. They always make me feel, in the eloquent words of Shakespeare, "Icky."**

**Not the words of Shakespeare.

I finish up my wet section and then decide I can delay it no longer. Something must be done about this spider. I grab a trusty can of Paul Mitchell hairspray. It's a cure-all. Flyaway? Loose earring stems? Wrinkles? Oh yeah. Spray some stuff on that. I corner him at the base of my garbage can. Sucker's got no chance. I spray him like my life depends on it, extending my arm while simultaneously retracting every other cell in my body.

Only after I'm done spraying do I realize I've been shouting the entire time. [I prefer not to use the verb 'scream,' thank you.] But then I realize. "Oh. You just used the heat seal spray. Maybe something more firm with a higher alcohol content will work better. Double Tap." So I grab my Freeze and Shine. Let me tell you. If I was going to die by hairspray, I'm certain Freeze and Shine would be the weapon of choice for any assailant. I gave him another 5 good, hearty sprays. He was all curled up and dead. But no way was I going to touch him. I have a husband for that.

So I finish getting ready, go in to wake up my husband and then run out the door to work. I'll make The Beard clean him up later. Or maybs vacuum him. Both valid options that do not include me getting near him at all.

(Also. Why am I calling it a him? Anthropomorphizing as a consequence of my guilt? Probably.)

I come home from work. Do my thing.

My thing: Just Dance, maybe a chore on a good day, more Just Dance, reading fashion blogs, making dinner, watching The Office.

Then later I go into my room to show Ryan where he is so he can clean him up.

HE'S NOT THERE. HE'S NOT THERE!!!!!!! I gave that spider a full 90 seconds of cosmetic torture, effectively sealing him to the carpet and garbage can base. But he lived through it the little b_____d. I freaked out. Somewhere in my house, probably in my room, is a large brown spider (not a Brown Recluse, thanks) is still alive and 100% pissed at me. I freaked. The Beard starts lecturing me about killing spiders appropriately. Like I'd ever do that. I felt like a target in my own home. This guy was coming for me.

A few hours later, after constant shoe-wearing, I went into my room to change into my pjs and the little bugger had the nerve to stand at the scene of the crime. I obviously shouted like a crazy person till the Beard came in and promptly squished him, gingerly sliding him onto a paper and into my garbage can.

Ew. I didn't take that garbage can out. Just realizing that now. Either his corpse is in there haunting me or he has risen once again like the Rasputin of spiders, and is slowly working his way back onto my carpet, waiting for my fleshy, warm, bare feet.

1 Spider was harmed in the making of this blog post.

Mad to the Bone

Ryan and I recently became 100% addicted to Mad Men. Here's how it happened.

Over Christmas break, we started Friday Night Lights (which is awesome by the way. At least before Season 3 while the show was still actually ABOUT football and not abortion). We powered through it in less than 3 weeks. It was great. Everyone had gone home for the holidays, and we sat on the couch with no curfew and nowhere to be for hours and hours. We loved it.

After that, we watched all of Parks & Rec (Ryan hadn't seen many of them), and obviously plenty of The Office. We even tried a little Veronica Mars and a few episodes of Dexter. But nothing was OUR show yet.

Arrested Development came closest. Classic. I can't say enough good things about Arrested Development. If you've never seen it, I don't know why you're reading my blog and not watching it right now. Between Hulu and Netflix online streaming you have no excuse.

But then we were married, with tons of boring married time to fill. Kids? Psh. No. We're looking for a TV show. I noticed that Mad Men recently became available, so we decided to give it a try.

AND IT BLEW OUR MINDS.

The style. The class. The chivalry and chauvinism. The drama. The love. The betrayal. The hope. The comedy. The irony. The heartbreak. The sarcasm. All of it unreal. It's really like no other show I've ever seen. I gush about their clothes and makeup every single episode. I still melt when I see Don Draper opening doors and lighting cigarettes and taking coats from women. (When did we lose such courtesy in society?) Sterlings' smooth charm and biting wit is fantastic. Even the annoying characters (Pete Campbell) leave you with a false sense of friendship, like  you know them in real life and their douchebaggery is occasionally excusable.

True. All they do is drink, smoke and cheat on their wives. But it's in a suprisingly conservative manner. Oh? There are consequences for drinking too much and adultery? This show demonstrates a part of that. Definitely glamorized. But awful things happen to these men for their awful decisions on occasion, much like real life. (Not smoking, though. Science really hadn't caught up with it yet. I feel like I got secondhand smoke just from watching it.) It shows semi-real life in a watchable and interesting way, sparing no characters or emotions.

But my favorite part? Her.

Joan. Joanie. The color and life of the show. She is the girl to go to. At one point she left the office (covered in blood, not her own, no less), and I was considering not watching anymore. Thankfully, she returned, all her charm and wit with her. I love her confidence. Her active mind. Her comfortable demeanor and earned respect with the big wig men. And I LOVE her curves. A girl after my own heart (and body). Who would pick a straight boyish physique over her red hot (pun intended) curves? I love her. She's fantastic. Watch it, if only for Joan.

A few weeks ago Courtney gave me the best compliment of my life. She said "You're totally a Joan." Tears to my eyes, you guys. Tears to my eyes. 

Goodbyes Are Such B*tches, You Guys.

I don't know who decided to fill my dream summer with bittersweet moments, but it wasn't me. And don't start into the whole "You can't have the bitter without the sweet." I know. I get it. But still. I spent a decent amount of my summer saying goodbye to things I loved.

First, The Office. Well, The Office as it should be. I WILL still be following The Office this fall, without Michael Scott. But we all know it will never be the same. Laugh all you want at Little Miss Danica, but The Office means a lot to me. It defined me during formative years. It nails my humor in a singular way. There have been times when I've felt lost, discouraged, depressed, and the only prescription that seemed to work was the friendly Jim/Dwight rivalry, a handful of ignorant Michael Scott comments, a dash of wacky Creed, and general Office camaraderie.

The clock just would not stop ticking as the "Goodbye Michael" episode neared. I didn't even want to watch it. I felt like a part of me would die or be lost. The Office without Michael is like chips with no salsa. Coke with no Diet. Danica with no Beard. OBVIOUSLY I was gonna watch it. But I was scared. Especially to watch it with The Beard. I knew I'd be emotional. And I've never really been a crier. But it was inevitable. The Beard would have to see that side of me sooner or later.

Well, it was sooner. I fell to pieces. Absolutely fell apart. Ryan's white tee sleeve was streaked with mascara. I couldn't believe it was happening. The moment between Jim and Michael melted my heart completely. The years of frustration and anger dissolved in the cathartic goodbye that wasn't. They did a fantastic job. It was hard, but it was time. I said goodbye.

Then it was goodbye to the LAO. No need to dwell on that. It's all been said and done.

When a student is struggling with a concept, the recommendation is to increase the FIT.

Frequency

Intensity

Time

I practiced my crying by increasing all three of these during Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2. It didn't stop. My head was throbbing. The Beard watched with me and concealed his embarrassment. That's why I love him. It was really hard to say goodbye to Harry Potter. Again, something I've loved since I was probably 11. Harry Potter is amazing. J.K. Rowling saved books. Twilight is ridiculous (although I read them), Hunger Games are pretty awesome, and there are other respectable options for young adult and universally appealing fiction. But I think I'm right in saying nothing will touch Harry Potter. Ever, probs. I love to reread them. The movies got better and better. The geek humor of following Harry Potter religiously is incredibly endearing. Thank you, J.K. Rowling. Thank you Harry Potter.

Finally, I said goodbye to my last name. Danica Budge had such a nice ring to it. That's been my name. It's everywhere. Email, Twitter, all kinds of social media, all my online shopping accounts (which are numerous, I assure you). Social Security was a bit of a hassle. Changing my information with Nebo School District took a while. I still haven't even dealt with BYU. It's still a little weird when I habitually sign my name "Danica Budge." Have 200 kids call me "Mrs. Holdaway!" or "Mrs. HALDaway!" all day has helped with the tradition.

But you know what? I love being a Holdaway. I didn't shed a tear over that one. I've joined another family that I'm so proud to be a part of. I like to label myself as The Beard's by taking his name. It's an indication of our new little family. I'll always be a Budge. But now I'm a Holdaway. And it feels great.

How to Parallel Park a Bookcart: A Secretary's Tale

Three years ago, I was a newly-graduated 18 year old, full of hope and excitement for the opportunities lying ahead of me at BYU. I decided I wanted to be more of an adult. More independent. More grown up. I decided to move out and to start applying for part-time jobs, even at the behest of my parents. I was lucky enough to get 10 or 12 interviews for jobs on campus, but nothing seemed to pan out. I was a freshman. No one will hire a freshman for a demanding secretary or receptionist position, which was exactly what I wanted. (Knowing my addiction to The Office, you can hardly be surprised.)

I still remember my interview at the LAO. I remember standing in the atrium, waiting in the chairs by the front desk, the interview with Wendy & Dave, and walking to my car thinking "Well, there's goes another interview with people who just classify me as a naive freshman." I was sitting in my room days later when Wendy called to offer me the job. I was absolutely pumped. I knew my prayers were being answered and that this job was going to be very important to who I became at BYU. And I was right.

I began at the bottom of the totem pole. I worked with Cody & Dave, both married seniors who had worked in the LAO for quite a while. From them I learned how to be professional. How to relate to adults in a work environment. How to use Google Docs and program code for Wiki sites. The best tips and tricks for the Testing Center, bookstore, and campus in general. Because of them and this job, I never felt like a true freshman. Because of them I was ahead of the campus curve. Thanks guys.

After Cody and Dave left the following April, I became #1. It is a coveted position. The AUL's (Assistant University Librarians, the administrators in my office) began to trust me. Librarians and full-time employees began to know my name. I really started to get a hang of it. The LAO became my home away from home, and I sold my soul to it. I would miss class to help with lunches and projects. I'd stay late for conferences. I would often get in trouble for working over 20 hours a week, but everyone in my office knew I was a slave and loved it. I knew I was a goner when my friends and family would ask how the library was going every time they'd see me. Embarrassing.

Last summer when I left for Wales, I was so grateful the LAO held my job for me. It might have been a deal breaker for my study abroad if they hadn't. Being gone for 6 weeks made me realize how much my life revolved around my job. All my study abroad friends new about my job and how much I loved the library. I missed the inside jokes and even wondered about how daily tasks and small projects were going back at the office. I found myself snapping hundreds of pictures of libraries and sending them to the office.

In all honesty, the best part of my time here at the LAO has been the friendships. I have formed some of the greatest friendships of my life here in this office. People I would never have been friends with otherwise. People that have impacted my life immeasurably. People I love.

• Katie. [We bonded over Michael Scott, Cocoa Bean and Las Vegas.]
• Kami. [A co-secretary, now on a mission, that became a much-needed friend and fellow Harry Potter enthusiast for Summer and Fall 2009.]
• Aremy. [An LAO Secretary legend. She is the cutest mother and wife, and I always looked up to her.]
• Paul. [My baseball buddy back in the business office, and a Royals fan. Ouch.]
• Eliesa. [BFF, and the best little designer I know. Congrats E & B! Love you!]
• Tiffany. [One of my best friends that taught me it's ok to be a little touchy-feely. :)]
• Chris. [Started as a shy little project for me, and became one of my best friends and Zombie partner in crime.]
• Laura. [The only person who understands my Star Trek jokes.]
• Jeanette. [Mini-Me and the funniest freshman I know. Look out for this girl in the Advertising program soon. She'll change the world.]
• Cassandra. [Actually not an employee of the LAO, but we'll claim her. She's our newest little buddy and we just love her.]

I'm actually falling apart emotionally as I type this and realize just how special the camaraderie in this office is. It's even better than the great relationships I built with teams I played on. And I don't know how it happened. I'm just eternally grateful that it did. These people have changed my life and made me better, and they aren't just work friendships. We will be friends forever. I know it. Even though I'm leaving, I can't wait to come visit Katie's baby, have dinner parties with E&B, congratulate Chris on his engagement and wedding, watch Jeanette take the Advertising world by storm, and hear about all the guys that come into our office just to ask Laura out.

I became who I am because of the Library Administrative Office. The technical skills I've learned have been absolutely crucial to my academic career. The social and professional skills I've learned, I'll carry with me in my personal life and in the classroom for years to come. But the memories, the most important and most valuable, I'll have forever. Cocoa Bean. Binder assembly lines. Office parties. Lemonade and Christmas punch slushies. Office supply shows. Arrested Development quoting. Treat Monday/Tuesday. Hating on Grad Studies and random librarians. Inside jokes. And especially just the daily office time, catching up and hanging out together. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Thank you LAO. Thank you HBLL. Thank you Wendy. Thank you friends. Thank you Heavenly Father for providing me this job, this opportunity and these wonderful people to color my life.

LAO Secretary for life!