Dear Danica: A Reminder

My schedule has definitely intensified over the past few weeks - I have 2 more committee meetings taking up time after school, at least an hour or two of reading and writing each night for my Masters, roughly 3-4 hours per week for my new calling in Young Womens, regular chores/laundry/gym/cooking etc, and spending all my extra time working on my new blog update (to be revealed soon!).

{Also today and tomorrow I'll be working 13 hour days for Parent-Teacher Conferences - thankfully I get Friday off though!}

I'm not complaining. This is not only 100% normal and doable, but also way less than most supermoms tackle in a single DAY. It just means I have to prioritize and plan much more than I usual do. I'm now hyper-aware of when and where I'm spending my hours.

A few days ago I opened up my bloglovin to find hundreds of unread posts, some most for blogs I haven't caught up on in a month or more. 

Then I opened Twitter to scroll through and see tweets from people that I had to stop and ask "Wait. Who is this? Is this a blogger? Random person I followed back? Douchey guy from high school that just subtweets girl problems?"

Next it was Instagram, to much the same effect. "Who is this girl? I don't even like her outfit. Why can I see more boobs than your face, sweetie? Why am I following 100 random small fashion companies?"

I have a stack of 3 books I've checked out from the library and started, but not finished. 

I publish my little brother's letters on a blog and post them on his Facebook and Twitter to make the posts accessible to his friends to keep in touch. I noticed that MY BABY BROTHER, who isn't even in the continental US or tweeting regularly has almost 500 followers. 

I've been working on my blog update and thinking a lot about the type of blogger I want to be and if I'm the type to ever have hundreds of followers or sponsors or the whole shebang. How much do I really care about the internet? What does it mean for my life?

So this is a reminder to you, Danica Holdaway. Because you forget this all the time. 

It's ok to unfollow tweeters you find boring and Instagrammers you find slutty.

It's ok if people unfollow you or don't follow you in the first place. It's about quality, not quantity. Don't compromise your humor, beliefs or personality for a number. 

It's ok to not read the "IT" blogs that everyone seems to love. Sometimes things just aren't for you.

It's ok if you don't feel the desire to sponsor or be sponsored. 

It's ok if you don't post every day or even every week. This is YOUR blog, not anyone else's.

It's ok if you don't read all the blog posts each day. They'll survive.

It's ok if you don't think of something hilarious or cute every single day. Absence makes the heart grow fonder or something?

It's ok to blow off an hour to just read, or nap, or Pinterest. Your head will explode if you don't.


Take a breath, Danica. Blogging is weird and kind of stupid, but fun. That's all it needs to be. 

Let those Instagram, Twitter and Facebook icons rest. Social Media is awesome, but shouldn't be a chore. 

Be yourself and let the internet world work for YOU, not the other way around. 


Incidentally, I love all you readers. You make my life better and I love you. I love you! Thanks for everything. You keep me going and keep me inspired. Big hugs coming through this screen for you. 

xoxo Gossip Girl/Danica

ADD: A Gift or Curse?

On Tuesday night I was invited to attend a meeting/book promotional event put together by Mark Patey - a famous pilot and businessman from Spanish Fork. He is a celebrated ADD-er and wanted to share his unique viewpoint and discoveries with parents, teachers and fellow ADD-ers. His book "Addicts and Millionaires" will be coming out soon and will help erase some of the stigma surrounding ADD.

We met at his TSO - Top Secret Office - where almost no one has been before. It's a private hangar at the Spanish Fork airport, which was pretty awesome. We got to see some planes he built and the Search and Rescue helicopter he uses to help in emergencies. This plane is the one GM approached him to build - and then he used it to break the Transcontinental Flight Speed record by 48 minutes!

We got free Cafe Rio, which is always gonna win me over. We mixed and mingled, as they say, and then settled in for the presentation from Mark Patey and his Equal Opposite - Dave Neilson

My +1 Tayler and another one of the cool planes

Mark shared his persepective of ADD with us - that it's a gift! There is such a negative stereotype of ADD. The name itself says it's a DEFICIENT DISORDER. "There's something wrong with you." "Something is lacking." "You're not good enough."

Why is that the case? Their brains literally think differently, but why does that have to be bad?

ADDers are 3x more likely to do drugs to help take the edge off their constantly revving brains. This is what teachers, parents and society often focuses on. "Sit still." "Stop fidgeting." "Why can't you just do this right now and finish?" "Let's fix you."

 ADDers are also 3x more likely to be self-made millionaires, because their creativity, drive and intelligence makes them incredibly effective! Why aren't we utilizing that energy? Why aren't we giving them the options and support they need? We should be.

Every ADDer needs at least one Equal Opposite - a person who can be their complementary strength, not force or rush them, and keep them thinking positively about themselves and others. Anyone can become an Equal Opposite by accepting ADDers, compensating for their weaknesses and expanding on their strengths.

Things I Took Away:

• Let them fidget, walk around or pace. Most ADDers need to be doing at least 3 things at once to function. 
• Allow them to think creatively - tap that creative brain!
• If they want to work on something else, let them. They will be more productive and eventually come around to the thing you want them to do. 
• Don't ignore the addictive nature of the condition. Allow them "healthy addictions" that can help them unplug and slow down their brain - movies, exercise, games, etc. Make sure these have an end point (unlike video games which they could addictively play for 3 days on end).
• Give them time to recharge and make sure they are feeling ok regularly. Sometimes you won't know they're too wound up until it's too late and they are non-functioning.

 I'll be getting an early edition of their book soon that I'll read and review on the blog for you. I'll be posting more about their philosophies and ideas for ADDers.

If you have ADD/ADHD or someone you love has it, please check out ADHDgift.com for information and resources. We need to help these kids see their value and help them in ways that will actually HELP.

These kids are superheroes and millionaires, not just crazy addicts. Let's turn the tide against ADD!

Things I'm Terrible At

Including, but not limited to:

• Speaking in church (which we're doing today). I talk too fast and say whatever I feel like. I know. Your worst Sacrament meeting nightmare. 
• Using knives, especially sharp ones
• Washing my face before bed
• Swimming. I blame it on my, ahem, DD drag resistance. Not buoyant. 
• Lipstick
• Singing, but I don't let that stop me. Haters gon hate.
• Fasting. Aren't we all, though?
• Children under 12. I'm bad at children.
• Elderly over 70. I'm also bad at old people. 
• Using hot rollers
• Forgiving 
• Any kind of art or design. I can't make anything look good. 
• Comforting people
• Pushing myself hard in a workout. I jump off that treadmill as soon as I talk myself out of it. sometimes before I'm even inside the gym. 
• Photography, editing, "real" blogging
• Choosing sides in a debate - Liberal v. Conservative Issues, Educational ideologies, NSYNC v. BSB (jk it's totally NSYNC)
• Standing up to people
• Cooking & sometimes baking (i.e. French macarons)
• Training Glen Coco. He's just too cute or I'm just too lazy or both. 
• Running into people I kind of know at Walmart. I always hide and/or pretend to not see them. 
• Pushing my kids when they don't want to be pushed. 
• Buying people presents they actually want

Yikes that list got long fast and I'm only getting started. 

But apparently there are at least 100 of you out there who think I'm not terrible at blogging, so I want to thank you for that. I appreciate your kind, hilarious, insightful comments and of course, your friendship. All my love coming through this post direct to you. 

Love

D

My Happiness Project: Week Six

I had to be really secret this week. I had to employ like super secret agent moves.

Motherhood

For the record: NOT PREGNANT. Not even a little pregnant. Not even baby hungry yet.

But I did want to learn a little more about pregnancy and motherhood since the only things I know I learned from The Office and Baby Mama. I'm getting to the point where the baby aisles at Target don't make me physically sick, so that's good. But I still don't know anything about babies, ultrasounds, infant care, onesies, bath time, car seats... wow this list just keeps getting longer.

-Read up!
--So I sneak-attack put a bunch of books on hold and I wore my trenchcoat and sunglasses to go pick them up at off-hours at the library. I didn't really wear the trenchcoat but I was very sneaky and fast. I don't need to run into students or friends when I have an armload of maternity-info books. I also delved into a lot of the blog posts "348 Things You Need To Know As A Complete Moron Getting Pregnant For The First Time" that I've pinned over time.

-Watch up!
--I watched The Science of Babies on Netflix - fascinating. I even got The Beard to watch What to Expect When You're Expecting with me! He's probably less scared of babies than I am, actually. He's great with babies and little kids - unless they're our niece Lillie who is still terrified of his big black beard.

-Think about what type of mother I'd like to be
-- The biggest thing that I walked away with is "Take a breath, Danica. People have been doing this for thousands of years. Millions of people didn't read books, and watch documentaries, and ask every person on the street about pregnancy. Millions of people! And overall, pregnancy for them is still ok. If the idiots on 16 and Pregnant can do this, I'm pretty sure I can do this. Also multiple people told me that I'd need to drink a bathtub's worth of Diet Coke a day in order for it to hurt any baby I was carrying, so even though I drink an obscene amount, I'm not scratching that surface. That really helped my fears. I won't have to give up Diet Coke!!!

Blog

- Get a "real" blog URL
- Got it. Execpt The Beard got it for me on this weird site and we're still working on getting it linked up to host this blogspot. Get excited for that to come up.

-Make it look cuter.
-- Working on a new logo/name. Added an Instagram feed. Rearranged. I'm creating tabs and pages like a real deal blog. And I'm working on a few new buttons. There's not a lot to show for this right now. But it's still coming. Promise.

- Learn how "real" blogs operate.
-- No surprise - I checked out a bunch of books, read a bunch of posts (Especially Bon's. So helpful) and started mapping out where I want my blog to go. I really have never even TRIED with my blog. I've done a couple of things that friends have asked - giveaways, hosting, guest posts, etc. But I've never really done anything with my blog. But I'm ready to be more real. Blog more regularly, interact more in the blogging world, be a "real" blogger. Who knows. Maybe we'll even get to a sponsorhip phase. I still don't really know what that is. But it sounds cool. Dreamin big over here.

Coming Soon - my overall view of my Happiness Project. Acceptable social media posts when you're pregnant. Annoying stuff Bloggers do. More things that I realized/got bugged by when I did my Happiness Project.

My Happiness Project: Overview
My Happiness Project: Week One
My Happiness Project: Week Two
My Happiness Project: Week Three
My Happiness Project: Week Four
My Happiness Project: Week Five

Apricot Lane Blogger Event/Giveaway!

I've teamed up with Apricot Lane Boutique

 to kick off a summer of style. 

We're throwing a party, and you're invited! Join us on Thursday, June 27th from 6-8pm at Apricot Lane Boutique in The Shops at Riverwoods. It will be a night filled with fun and fashion--you won't want to miss it! For more details, visit the event page on Facebook.

I can't go. :( I will be in Boston for a weeklong American Revolution Field Study, so I guess I'm not too sad about it. :) But you should all go check this blogger event out because Apricot Lane throws an awesome party. 

As part of our collaboration, Apricot Lane is giving away TEN $25 gift cards to spend the night of the event. Enter to win by using the Rafflecopter below. The more requirements you complete, the greater your chance will be at winning. 

Ten winners will be selected on Wednesday, June 26th and contacted via email. The gift cards will be awarded by Apricot Lane Boutique the night of the event.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Spring Giveaway! $300 to Apricot Lane

I've teamed up with Apricot Lane and a group of bloggers to bring something extra chic to your spring. One very lucky reader will have the chance to enjoy a $300 Spring Spree to Apricot Lane Boutique in Provo, Utah.

To enter, simply use the Rafflecopter below. Points will be earned for each item completed--the more you do, the closer you'll get to winning your very own shopping spree.

The $300 Spring Spree Giveaway will run until midnight of Friday, April 26th, and it is open to Utah local participants.  The winner will be announced and contacted via email the following Saturday, April 27th. 

Wishing you luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway  

Terms & Conditions: The Spring Spree Giveaway is for one $300 gift card to Apricot Lane Boutique in Provo, Utah. The gift card must be spent in-store at the Apricot Lane Boutique location in Provo, Utah. The giveaway will run from Friday, April 19th to Friday, April 26th. The winner will be announced the following Saturday on this Rafflecopter widget. All mandatory entries must be completed in order to win, including the winning entry. All entries will be verified, so please be honest in completing the entries.  To claim your prize, please respond to the email within 24 hours. Failure to do so will result in another winner being chosen. Once the winner has been selected, the decision is final. This giveaway is not affiliated with Facebook, Bloglovin', Google, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, or any other social media platform.

Popcorn Popping over on Apricot Lane

They don't have popcorn. Sorry. I don't mean to false-advertise. It was just too catchy to pass up.

What they do have is a rockin store full of trendy and classic clothes, sparkly baubles and The Beard's favorite - a boyfriend COUCH (upgrade from the usual boyfriend chair) with a big flatscreen TV. That way he could sit and watch ESPN the whole time I cased the store.

Our friend Aubry contacted me a few weeks ago to see if I'd like to style an outfit for their lookbook. After my excited giggling subsided I coolly and calmly responded that I probably could do that for her. I guess.

So I went down and got to style an outfit from their impressive selection of tops, bottoms, layering pieces, accessories and crazy amounts of jewels. Pretty much the best day of my life. It was made all the more fun by Kirsten and Sarah's company.

As you guys know, I'm pretty minimalist. I can't even layer without feeling overdone. I end up peeling off my layers before I get to school.

You also know I'm a bit of a fan of monochromatic black/gray ensembles. The sleeker the better. Sometimes I feel like Angela on the Office. "What are your favorite colors?" "Well, gray, dark gray, charcoal..." So this coat was kind of a no brainer. Plus it was soft and comfy. Win-win-win.

Aubry suggested that I put together an outfit that would be a great Valentines Date Night look - probably because I looked like a deer in headlights over all of my options.

Personally I like to look somewhat obnoxiously pink or red or both on V-day, because I get overly excited for random holidays. Here's a second type of look for those of us who aren't in 3rd grade on Valentine's day. Don't be surprised that it's minimalist and black-based.

These coated jeans give the look of leather (which I LOVE) without the sticky, tight feel. They lend the perfect amount of edge. As you can tell, I'm a shorty in need of some tailoring for my pants...

This shirt drew me in immediately. The fabric is light, but thick enough to look and feel like tweed. Paired with the dark, tight jeans it has an academic-meets-street feel. This shirt is the perfect reason to shop at a chic boutique like Apricot Lane - you can't find this stuff at your friendly neighborhood Forever 21. And you're missing out.


Let's talk accessories. Their selection was insane. I somehow always think I need black and gold jewelry because I wear it so much (even though I've got strands and strands of it in my jewelry stand). The chunky black necklace adds some intrigue to the simplicity of the outfit.

And boy can you start a pretty awesome arm party with their bracelet selection. I opted for this thick metal and leather band. Could I have added 100 sparkly gold bracelets? Yes. Would the Beard like it? No.

"You're too jingly and pokey!!"

Moral of the Story: Go check out Apricot Lane and those girls' blogs. You won't regret it.

Also, how do I make this going to stores/putting together looks/blogging about it thing my full time job? Anyone out there wanna pay me to do all their personal shopping? Clothing market research? Dressing room quality inspector?

Anyone?

Sometime, Always, Never - How to Not Be an Idiot in the Blogosphere

Ok so this Sometimes, Always, Never isn't about a fashion faux pas. Sorry. But this topic has been showing up on multiple blogs and it IS Friday. Therefore, Sometimes, Always, Never returns.

My friend Sierra posted about this.

Life of Bon posted about this. 

Even a dance/fitness tumblr I follow posted about shutting down her ask box because everything she was getting was rude or stupid, even though she makes workouts and inspirational posts FOR FREE.

I am lucky to never have had an issue with rude/stupid/retarded comments on my blog, and wouldn't mind if I did. A girl once complained about a post we wrote on BYU Style back in the day when Katie and I were writing for it, and we just LOLed and LOLed over it. No harm done.

Despite all logic and humanity, blogging has somehow become a controversial issue. Blows. My. Mind.

To me, blogging is such a small, insignificant part of my life. I really like to write and I love reading blogs, but if my blog went away (Natural Disaster, Apocalypse, Electronic/Internet failure) would my world end? NO. It's just a fun thing to add to my life.

Logic would conclude that Blogging is this:

1. Someone has a site where they post their thoughts, ideas, outfits, recipes, opinions, intelligence and stupidity.
2. You DO NOT have to read it, they owe NOTHING to you, and it's not real life anyways. 
3. Reason would dictate that there is no possible reason to leave nasty comments, belittle others, complain about a blog or  even read it in the first place. Yet here we are. 

Without further ado.... How to Not be an Idiot in the Blogosphere.

SOMETIMES

Blog. Yes, you read that right. I firmly believe you should only blog SOMETIMES. Do not blog every day unless you are being paid to, or unless you want to lose touch with reality. Seriously. No one has a life so interesting that it requires everyday documentation.

Comment on blogs. If I tried to comment on every blog I read, even just once a week, it would be a colossal waste of my time. I only comment on posts that really touch me or relate to me. Just like you wouldn't try to talk to every single person at a big party, you shouldn't try to be part of every single blog on the interwebs. Come on.

ALWAYS

Follow what you love and unfollow what you don't. Don't be afraid to unfollow a blog or delete a subscription. Don't feel bad. This is your life. Don't waste it reading things that make you mad or sad or don't really contribute to your life.

Contribute positively. We all love a good b**** fit post. But the majority of your internet contribution should be positive, that includes comments and content you follow.  

NEVER

"I'm such a bad blogger!" Is blogging a sport? Is blogging a competition? No. Blog when and how and what you want to. If you're doing what you love you are a "good" blogger.

I take it back. If you don't know how to use the English language appropriately you are a "bad" blogger.

For the love of everything internet, do NOT make your blog your personal journal. No one cares. Sorry. But we don't want to know how many times you had to change your little one today or how you slept last night.

General Authorities have commanded us to keep journals. I get that. But if your journal is your blog you are missing the entire point - keeping things sacred.

***If you are leaving a mean comment, complaining about a blog, or getting angry about a post:***

You are the idiot we are referring to.

You do realize that it is THEIR blog, correct? And they they write it for THEM? Not you and your selfish little life.

So stop typing. Close that comment thread. Unfollow that blog. Log off your computer. 

No one will miss you. Trust me. 

If this is offensive, feel free to unfollow me. I recognize this was a mean ranting post. You have every right to choose what to follow and I have every right to write anything I choose. I'll take my own advice and get over it. Promise.

Because my value and self-worth are not determined by your comments or the number of followers in my right sidebar.