What is School For?

This week I'm wrapping up my first Masters course - Introduction to Curriculum Theories! Man. I wonder how long my teacher training would have taken me if it was all online, at my own pace. Probably like 45 minutes because those classes were largely repetitive and barely useful in a real classroom environment. (Get it together, BYU Education Program! More Classroom Management and actual teaching, less theory and methods!)

To finish the course, I have to write an opinion/personal philosophy paper, and I want YOU to weigh in. Yes you. My dear friend. You. Read the following brief summary and tell me what you think.


This class focuses on the four main ideologies held regarding education as a whole. Here is what these four ideologies generally support as the reason we have education:

Scholar Academic - school is for students to learn the collective information we've accumulated over hundreds of years in academia (math, science, history - below, language, humanities, etc), putting kids in college and making them experts in various disciplines. There is a set curriculum they need to know and will be tested on.

Social Efficiency - school is to prepare potential workers with skills, knowledge and behaviors they need to contribute and succeed in society. This is the Ron Swanson approach - we turn them into the workers that the market needs using a factory-like method: they go in as raw materials, they come out as polished, completed commodities (employees).

Learner-Centered - school is to help kids discover and self-actualize. These are the schools where kids individually decide what they want to learn and when, and kids are allowed to be kids.

10 Extra Awesome points if you get this reference

Social Reconstruction - society is ill, and school is how we heal it. We educate kids on the problems of the world (i.e. Kony, hunger, racism), teach them critical thinking and problem solving skills and then encourage them to take it forth into the world to turn this bus around.

Realistically, our public schools today are generally Scholar-Academic with more and more Social Efficiency as they get older (think MATC, Wood Shop, FFA, etc). We work in Social Reconstruction wherever we can, but especially in Utah we can't push too hard on social issues. Utah has several Montessori-type schools, and one self-proclaimed Learner-Centered school in Murray called Sego Lily School.

I have to write a paper on my personal philosophy of curriculum, referencing these four main ideologies. I'm on the social side - Social Efficiency and Social Reconstruction, but grounded in Scholar Academic. I think the way our society and education system is headed, if we can't get kids jobs and limit their student loan debt, we're gonna collapse in on ourselves! We need to be teaching kids skills the market needs - no more useless English degrees with $50,000 in student loans. We also need to be talking to them about social inequalities, demographic issues and horrors that need to be corrected - they are the future! Only they can control what happens when we get all old and decrepit. But still. I know my kids hate to hear this, but I USE MATH. Maybe not trig, but I still use everything up to Geometry and Algebra 2. Maybe even College Algebra. They need to know about our history, even if it won't apply to their future jobs because THEY LIVE HERE GOSH DANGIT. They need to know WHO THEY ARE. I'm just the teensiest bit biased here, obvs. Learner-Centered is great in theory, and I do try to incorporate their choice and interests wherever possible, but in reality it just doesn't work for most people/teachers/schools.

So I want to know, as I prepare to write this paper - what do you think? What is school for? 

Is school for learning information and ideas?

Is school for learning skills so you can get a guaranteed, good job?

Is school for discovering yourself and growing?

Or is school for preparing a generation to take on the world and fix all of societies problems?

Should we focus on information or skills? Thoughts or feelings? 

What is the most important? Can you choose just one?

Let me know! I want to get perspectives from parents, students, non-teachers and teachers alike. Love you all!

How to Interpret the Finals Week Posts In Your Feed

It's that time of year. The lovely, refreshing, rebirth of all the idiots who try to out-finals one another.

For your convenience, I put together a basic list of interpretations:

"I have 27 papers, 14 projects and 9 finals this week! Omg!" = I'm an idiot that can't read a course catalog.

"I slept 5 hours in the last 2 days! Soooooo TiReD!" = I'm an idiot that can't manage my time.

*Picture of $300 worth of junk food* "Must be finals week LOL" = I'm an idiot that needs constant sugar breaks to help my short attention span while "studying." BONUS - also an idiot that will act pissed about getting sick during/after finals while treating my body like crap before/during finals.

"Looks like I'll be cramming all night!" = I'm an idiot that was lazy all semester and did nothing to study or prepare for class.

"Here comes finals! I'm SCREWED! Wish me luck!" = I'm an idiot that is scared and desperately needs others to diminish their feelings of guilt and worthlessness.

"You know you're screwed when you don't even recognize some words on the review! #help" = I'm an idiot that never went to class because I slept through it even though it was at 11 am.

"My professor is INSANE! How can you assign this much for FINALS WEEK?!" = I'm an idiot who doesn't understand the rigor of a college education and has to blame mistakes on others.

"Just failed that final, and guess what? I don't even care! YOLO!" = I'm an idiot that is intensely concerned about that test score and feels like the idiot that I am.

"I handed in my papers late and 50% done, but whatever because I'M GRADUATEDDDDDD!!!!" = I'm an idiot that you will now have to deal with in the professional workforce. Congratulations.

I Knew Going to FHE was a Bad Idea.

This is a story about when I realized that the Beard was IT. I thought it apropos since it's Valentine's week and all. **Incidentally it is also the story of one of the worst dates I've ever been on.**

Background

The Beard and I met in August 2009. We started hanging out in October and kissed in December. It was still really casual and cautious, and in March we both decided independently to be gone for the summer - Ryan in Arizona and me in England. We hung out more and more in April, realizing we really liked each other in the face of departure.

A week after we first met - the night he got my digits. Epic. 

The night before he left for Arizona, at the end of April, we had a really good talk about our expectations for the summer. We weren't even bf/gf at that point, so doing the long distance thing was clearly out of the question. The Beard was a bit of a commitment-phobe at the time and I had reservations about that. I also knew that he was going down there with his single dude posse, and that there would undoubtedly be  just scores of hot Arizona girls to occupy their limited down time.

As for me, this was the first summer that I didn't take classes and two months before I left. I was incredibly excited about have a "real" summer and though I really liked Ryan, I wasn't going to waste my summer stressing about a boy that wasn't here.

So we decided to have an awesome summer, stay in touch if we wanted to, and see what September brought back, with equal parts hope and pessimism.

FHE/DATE MARKET

Ryan left on a Sunday. Monday I got up, went to work, and had a very regular day. No tears, no sadness. I was pretty sure Ryan was going to forget about me and I can't STAND feeling clingy. I just decided to get over it, expect nothing, have fun and not even think about him. There were new adventures ahead.

When I got home, my cute roommate Natalie was getting ready for FHE and invited me to come. I LOLed a little.

Fun Fact About Danica: HATES Singles Wards. Hates FHE. I was semi inactive while in college, because I hated going to church so bad. I went to every farewell in Springville/Mapleton, went to my home ward often, and left early from my singles ward all the time.

Still. I was committed to meeting new people and having a blast this summer, so I went. Big mistake. I don't remember what we did, but we sat down in the big circle of chairs and instantly some boys came over to talk to us. I looked up and was instantly drawn to one of the guys, who saw me looking and walked toward me, smiling.

"Wow." I thought. "They really were right about singles wards. I am having a Taylor Swift moment with a guy I've never met. All because of FHE."

He sits down next to me, we exchange names and small talk, and then the Bishop gets up to start the lesson/activity/whatever we were doing. We quiet down. I was trying to be as charming as possible, obviously.

My mind is going a mile a minute. "What was that connection? Did he feel it? Don't get ahead of yourself, Crazy, he could have a girlfriend. Could I even date someone in my ward? That's an awkward story to tell our kids we met in a singles ward." Don't act like you haven't done this embarrassing thought train route before.

But then I started to notice all my judgy little things. "That's weird... why would I be attracted to a guy in construction-style dirty boots? Wait a minute. Those are Bugle Boy jeans. His hat is camouflage. What. What. What."

Let me be clear. I have no issue with many of those observations. It's just not my type. I was starting to question my mental health. Then he started talking again.

"Do you like Mexican food? I need a date for this week and I'd sure like to get some Cafe Rio!"

How did I not notice his hick accent before? And did he really just ask me out within 5 minutes of knowing me? I even thought I was attracted to this guy. I'm going crazy. I must be.

I accepted, because I will always accept a first date. Always. Any single girl who doesn't is a B*TCH. Who do you think you are, turning down a guy who worked up the courage to compliment you with a date?

As we left FHE, I'm in this weird shock. What just happened? I thought I had a legitimate connection with this guy. Am I crazy? He's 0% my type. The more I talked to him, the less I liked him.

Plus he was clearly fresh off his mission - he brought it up like 100 times and asked what my favorite scripture was. All the more apparent during our date... dun-dun-dunnnnnnnnnnnn...

THE DATE

The next morning he sent me a very next follow-up text. With one too many winky-faces. How many you ask? One. I'm mean. I know he was just trying to be nice. But a winky face is always creepy.

Two days later, he would pick me up 20 minutes early for our date (WORSE THAN BEING LATE) and proceed to offer a prayer over our Cafe Rio meal in the middle of the restaurant. Yes.  As always at Cafe Rio, there were no less than 10 people I knew there, watching. No that I'm ashamed of praying. I pray. Oh, do I pray. But am I wrong in thinking that maybe in the middle of Cafe Rio on a first date might not be the appropriate time/place for a verbal prayer? Regardless, I bowed my head and prayed with him.

The REALIZATION

After dinner, I politely declined his offer to watch a movie at his place. It seemed weird at 6 pm on a Wednesday night. Also he probably only watched the Living Scriptures, and man, sometimes Laman and Lemuel are just too much for me, you know?

I walked back into my apartment is disbelief. What a dismal date from such optimistic beginnings. 

So what was going on? What did it mean?!!!!

At that precise moment of confusion, my other roommate, Becca, walks up. I told her I just went on a date with that kid from FHE.

"WHAT? That guy talking your ear off all night? He totally reminded me of Ryan! He looks so much like him!"



........


Well.



There it is.

He had Ryan's same color and shape of eyes.  Brown hair. Big football guy build.

Bingo.

So I'm not gonna say that was the moment I gave up dating, because I went out with a handful of guys in those two months before England. But it was.

Cafe Rio prayer guy reminded me that there was no one quite like Ryan, and that I wanted to see where that went. I'm really glad the Beard felt the same way and spent his summer texting me between houses.

Because it went here.

The Evolution of a BYU Student

THE NOOB

Freshman year I was just a little naive zoob. Moving out with one of my high school/ward besties Caroline was an exciting adventure filled with too much Diet Coke and way too many grocery shopping trips. Late nights were glamorous. A "real-life" job was my greatest pride. A Gold's Gym pass was obtained, although working out regularly doesn't counter the constant stream of snacks I pounded. I went to every dance party Facebook and my friends invited me to, because that's the trendy college life I'd seen on the internetz.

It wasn't all bad though. There were BYU football games with some of my best pre-mi friends. Plenty of studying and paper-writing. And obsessing over Mamma Mia!

Glenwood wasn't quite my style (too ward-centric and young) so Winter Semester I moved into Crestwood (private rooms and fewer zoobs). There I met one of my best college friends and the greatest roommate ever, Natalie.

I ruined my summer with History classes and Calculus. Still healing over a breakup and the less than ideal dating life I'd been experiencing at college, I pretty much spent the whole summer studying and watching the original Star Trek series on YouTube. Not my finest hour.

THE AWAKENING

That August changed everything. I decided to snap out of it. Katie and I finally bonded. I met Kami and Marit and started trying again. I cared again. I partied again. I dyed my hair dark a la Zooey Deschanel. The very first night I actually went out again, I met The Beard (at a SINGLE'S WARD ACTIVITY. Semi-embarrassed of this.) I still remember something waking up inside me when I talked with him. It's not something I can articulate. But it was good.

Marit and I hung out with the famous Trumans, met the BYU football team at the airport at midnight after their triumphant Oklahoma win, and started to go to more and more local music shows with my rapidly becoming bestie Tiffany. I bought new clothes, stopped eating crap and started yoga. I began the teaching program at BYU. I really DATED and made new friends in my ward, complex and classes. I was almost the "real" Danica here.

REMEMBERING

The Beard and I grew progressively closer, always circumventing eventual "official" status. Never seeing one another more than MAYBE twice a week. But come March, I was dominating my classes, especially with my Writing in Social Science class and remembering how much I loved English classes and writing. I had made so many friends, dated guys that weren't pre-mi's or complete weirdos, and was on the top of the totem pole at the library. People knew my name. I was finally wearing good clothes. Studying in a desk at the library instead of in my bed with microwave popcorn and The Office open in another window on my laptop. What a little adult I had become. I was more confident in myself and it was clear that The Beard was to play some role in my life. So I didn't run from it, even though we were both leaving for the summer.

We spent nearly every day together before he left, despite the good advice of my sweet and protective friends. We left with a "Have a great summer!" and the slightest potential hope that if we both came back and wanted to do it again, we would. And for real.

Once classes ended, I finally had a summer. No classes. Worked 4 days a week. Spent plenty of time in Mesquite, St. George and at the King Henry pool with Tiffany and Ali. I really grew close to my best friend Eliesa and looked forward to her newly single status and the promise of the greatest summer ever. I spent hours at the pool reading my huge tome of British history, preparing for Wales. I visited Chicago with my family for Brooke's senior trip.

I left Provo with a renewed sense of what this summer meant. I finally had a guy to care about, but I could function without him. I was desperately scared that liking him would ruin my summer without him, but instead I found it to be a pleasant hope to look forward to September. I could be funny. I could be cute. I could be crazy. I could enjoy time alone and time with my friends. I could drive with the windows down blaring Metric and The Eagles all summer long. As I finished a Cocoa Bean run with my office friends, I was just so grateful for my life and so happy to be living.

Wales was amazing. I won't re-hash that for you all. I showed up as the quiet, weird girl that no one knew, because I applied late and took the place of a dropout, not taking the prep class. I finished as everyone's friend, the group clown and "The Girl Who Doesn't Sleep." That's who I am. Deep down. The train had come full circle and I was ready to come home and be somebody. Just in time for my last year at BYU. :)

THE DRAMA OF ADULTHOOD

The Beard and I started dating pretty much immediately. I moved into the Dream Palace and vowed to remain social despite a boyfriend. We went to local shows, parties and threw awesome bonfires. I met Claybe, Shane, Myles, Jordan, Tanner, Myles, and a hundred other friends of Ryan's. I became FHE mom, and actually enjoyed it, despite my complaining. I fell in love with Just Dance. I watched Friday Night Lights, Entourage, Parks n Rec and Chapelle's Show with the Beard every night. We played counselor to our friends. We fought (a little).

Around Christmas I had a breakdown. I was facing my last semester of BYU, real world life, frustration with my family, boredom in my job, and uncertainty with The Beard. I lost it, you guys. My parents honestly looked terrified watching my sob on the floor like an 8 year old. I didn't even do that when I was an 8 year old. So you can only imagine. I considered running from Ryan. Postponing a semester. Quitting my job. Moving somewhere new. Doing anything else. During this stress I lost 20+ pounds, my hair fell out and my school work pretty much suffocated.

The only things I was sure about were that I didn't want to break up with The Beard; I liked teaching and being in classrooms, even if I hated my education classes; and that the coming 3 months would determine much of the rest of my life, so there was no way I could check out.

REALLY GROWING UP

I decided to stop being a baby and finish strong. I started out attending my final education and history classes regularly. I tried harder at work to be awesome, even though I thought I had reached that threshold. I took better care of "me" as Oprah would say, by trying to send The Beard home before 2 am, reading books I liked, doing homework before cramming stressed me out, etc.

I interviewed a a few schools in the area, and then was quickly offered my current internship position, which came as a merciful blessing in a time of craziness. I felt confident and excited to teach, although a little anxious.

The moment of truth came for The Beard and I, and it was just what we need to both decide we were "all in." After that point, talks about love and marriage and planning just spilled out. I was happier than ever and attending class probably less than ever. As the Dream Palace situation grew crazier, we spent more and more time with our families, and I absolutely fell in love with his. How fun is it to have 4 new sisters?!

I concluded my BYU career by unceremoniously trashing all my notebooks and selling all my textbooks. I moved back home, cut back on work hours and spent all my time wedding planning and hanging with The Beard and Holdaways.

Seven Peaks with Jeanette and Katie, Owls games, and one EFY session later, I was getting married to my best friend!

As far as BYU goes, I considered myself done. I still had to go to some stupid meetings and finish that b*&%# (sorry) of a Teacher Work Sample (a 40+ page portfolio showing that I know how to fake good teachings on paper), but I was pretty much done. Visiting campus made me so grateful for what I had and learned there, but so happy to be at home with my husband and working at an awesome school.

And here I am. Graduating today. LIKE A BOSS.

Thank you, BYU. Thank you apartments and roommates and singles wards. Thank you Study Abroad. Thank you LAO & HBLL. Thank you Mckay School of Education. Thank you to my family for always being there when I had to get away from Provo.

Thank you Beard. You met me at my lowest point and brought me to my highest, with patience all the while. I love you!

And thanks to you, my reader-friends. You endure my long-winded rants, and why? Because you know deep down I love you. I hope to have more and better posts since BYU, school and everything else is easing up on me. :)

Go Cougs forever!

BYU's Best/Worst Classes

I've been reflecting on my BYU career and the classes I've taken. Some were more helpful than others. Some were absolutely useless (I'm looking at you, Calculus) and some I still use every day. For my BYU and prospective BYU friends, I thought I'd do a review of some of the best/worst classes I took. As always you should check out Rate My Professor before signing up for any class.

What I wished I would have taken:

• More religion classes. They are the best.
• A raquetball or other fun sports/fitness class.
• More specialized history classes like The American South or World War II.
• School of Family Life (not religion) classes on marriage and kids and stuff. I learn it secondhand from Eliesa.
• Gone to more Devotionals. I always really enjoyed it when I went or watched Devotional, but usually used it as homework time.

So here they are, my most memorable classes - best to worst:

Intro to Social Psychology (PSYCH 350) - Amazing! The best class ever. We talked about cognitive dissonance, conditioning, social norms, and my favorite assignment was to break a social norm and write about it. I invaded people's personal space. It was awkward and hilarious. I loved reading the textbook and class time flew by even though it was like 2 hours each time. Take this class if you can.

Classroom Management with Burr (SC ED 379) - The most useful class of all time, and only 1 credit hour! I wish it had been 3 or 4 credit hours. I use it every day and I learned so much from Sister Burr. She's awesome. You'd only take this if you were an Education major obviously, but if you are make sure you take it from Burr if she still teaches now that she's a principal.

Book of Mormon (REL A 121+122) with Merrill - The Best! He ended up being my favorite religion teacher and I took Book of Mormon pt. 2 and New Testament pt. 1 (REL A 211) with him. He's very frank and really helps apply scripture to your life. But, as any BYU student will tell you, you can't go into BOM thinking it will be easy because you've read it 50 times already. Take it seriously.

Econ 110 - Loved it! Most people hate it. I didn't take it from the famous Kearl guy though, so that may be part of it. It was really hard, but so interesting to me. If you dedicate yourself, it's actually rewarding.

Mission Prep with Goodman (REL C 130) - Awesome! I took it because all my friends were in Mission Prep classes because they were actually going on missions and I felt left out. Turns out I loved this class. I learned teaching basics and more importantly, how to teach with the Spirit. I also had to wear a fake engagement ring to avoid a weirdy. But that's a story for another time.

World Religions with Choi (REL C 351) - Incredible! Sort of. Choi is this little Korean dude who is super hard to understand at first (Sa, right?) but knows his shiz. The only trouble is that he tells you super cool stories all class period and then the test is all out of the book. Out of class intensive study is necessary. But it's amazing and testimony building.

Political Geography (GEOG 341) - So good! I'm a geography nerd. But we talked about Israel/Palestine, Kurds, Quebecois and tons of other interesting, relevant stuff. Again, he'd get off on a tangent of personal experience and you had to study a lot. He has a really cool interactive project, but I worked with two less-than-bright BYU football players so I did all the work. Worth it, though.

Comparative Government & Politics (PLSC 150) - Hard but super interesting. I still remember and apply the stuff we learned as I teach and when I read current events. I can't remember the professors name but he reminded me of Steven Colbert so I really liked it. Try to get in a cool TA group, because mean ones screw you over.

D&C (REL C 324) - hated it. Never went. Got like a B-. Don't take religion classes at 9 am. Just don't.

Political Inquiry (PLSC 200) - Shoot me in the face. Hated it. So bad. Also I'm pretty sure I was the only freshman. Because I already had so many UVU credits, I didn't need to take generals, but I got last pick of real big kid classes because I was on paper a freshman. I hated this class. I have no background in stats. Shoot me in the face.

Calculus (MATH 112) - enough said.

[Note that I somehow got out of American Heritage even though it's sort of right along with my major... lolz]

What about y'all? Favorite/least favorite classes? Classes you wish you would have taken?

What I Learned - BYU

I suppose graduation on Friday concludes my BYU career. It's weird. I wanted to go to BYU for forever. It was the only school I applied to. I was so proud and relieved when I got in. My grandpa was a professor there, and all of my Budge cousins went there. It was so prestigious and shiny and wonderful. Oh, the freshman innocence. I still love BYU. I still think it's the best. I bleed blue. But, like any other wonderful thing, there's more than meets the eye.

I spent a lot of time with my butt in an uncomfortable auditorium seat in the SWKT. (Ok. Much less time than I was SUPPOSED to.) I spent even more time in my beloved HBLL. But what I really learned didn't come out of overpriced textbooks or bloated professors.

Roommates suck.

African food smells TERRIBLE. (see above)

You can tell a lot about someone by where they live. Glenwood = carless zoob. Belmont = douche. Alpine Village = stupid, high-maintenance girl. These are generalizations, mind you.

Just because a boy is a Returned Missionary (RM) doesn't mean he is a good guy. This one was probably the most shocking to my naive freshman self. And the most disappointing.

The South End Market, A.K.A. South of the Border, is the closest place to campus to get my Diet Coke contraband.

It is possible to live off Diet Coke. (see above)

My fave study spot is Periodicals. Especially when it's rainy. My most EFFECTIVE study spot is level 1. No windows. No cell service. Only a handful of passersby to distract me. All Asians.

College courses are both easier and harder than I imagined. The actual coursework is not that bad, and the load is doable. What is more difficult is that the distractions grow exponentially. You have complete control of your schedule, laptop and Netflix account. Peril ensues. (see above)

Stay away from English majors. Kick it with the Dance teaching majors. They know what's up.

Sleep is a funny, undefinable thing. It swings from absolutely necessary (9 am on a Monday instead of Doctrine & Covenants) to merely optional (Every time The Beard called me to hang out and we ended up talking until the sun came up. No one tell our future kids that. They'll think it's ok for THEM to do that. And it's not.)

JDawgs is called of God.

Singles wards are nothing more than the Sacrament in a meat market. The girls that wear their PINK sweats and Uggs on campus all week suddenly look like Wet Seal models come Sunday. And that's not a compliment, ladies.

One day, you'll have more friends that didn't go to your high school than did. And it's kind of weird and great. They have no idea that I wore softball sweats my entire senior year and get tricked into thinking I'm qualified to run a fashion blog.

The Cocoa Bean is the greatest thing that's ever happened to Provo.

A Study Abroad can show you who you are and who you're meant to be. You'll never regret it.

Facebook doesn't make you any cooler than you actually are in real life. Common misconception.

College is amazing. There are parts I actually miss, like the spontaneity, the craziness and the potential for meeting tons and tons of incredible and terrible people. Still, I'm so happy I'm married and out of Provo and away from all of that. It's a chapter that served my book of life well, and I'll never regret it.

GO COUGARS! And here I come world.

Sometimes, Always, Never - PDA

I think we can safely say that it is actually spring, and LOVE IS IN THE AIR.

I have come to a horrifying conclusion: PDA is much more tolerable at the Junior High than at BYU. Why? Why is this the case? Young kids are supposed to be passionate and lack judgement. Adults are supposed to be mature and in control of their emotions. I have a few theories.

1. BYU kids have never had boyfriends/girlfriends before ("I DON'T DATE NONMEMBERS...") so this new and fun kissing thing is simply irresistable.
2. College kids treat campus like their home - sleeping everwhere, eating anywhere, walking around in sweats and Uggs with no shame, so why wouldn't they suck face in the SWKT quad?
3. In the frenzied married culture of BYU makes having a significant other an extreme social triumph. They feel so proud and also terrified that it may be temporary, so they try their hardest to prove it to themselves and others.
4. At the Junior High, the weird and nerdy kids are still afraid of the opposite sex, so they aren't the ones participating in PDA. Not the case at BYU. It tends to be ONLY the weird, unfortunate-looking kids. Shoot me in the face before I see two Engineering students clearly using tongue for the first time.

It makes me want to do this. Click it. It's the best PDA video I've ever seen.

Also, maybe we should issue some of these.

Let's lay down some groundrules, shall we?

SOMETIMES

I hate seeing people kiss in public. But now being married I guess I get it more. Smooching should only be used if you are saying goodbye for the day. It should be brief, hands-free and ONLY a peck. Also, you don't need to kiss goodbye before every class. You just don't.

Hand-holding. Only acceptable if you are walking around with your significant other. BYU students love to do this thing where they hold hands during class or while they're eating or across the table at the library. WTF? Really? Are they going to disappear the moment you stop touching them?

ALWAYS

I have never minded the hug. I hug. I'm not a "huggy" person, but I hug. Keep it short and sweet, and it's a great way to say hello and goodbye. Hug away my friends.

Cheek smooching. I've always thought this was incredibly classy.

Also, forehead smooching. It's so sweet.

NEVER

This is going to be a long list, so try to keep up.

Multiple kisses.

Making out.

Tongue.

For the love of all that is good, STOP MAKING GOOGLY EYES.

Bum-goosing. Also known as bum-cooching, spanking, squeezing. Sorry I just used all those words.

Winking. I think we can all agree we're crossing over into sex offender territory here.

Cuddling. Why are you spooning in Brigham Square? Whyyyyyyy?

Caressing in any form. This includes cheek stroking.

Did I miss any? What crazy PDA have you seen? Is UVU as bad as BYU? I sure hope not.

Sometimes, Always, Never - Winter Style

Another installment of Sometimes, Always, Never

When it's cold (although it hasn't really been this winter, thank goodness) we bundle up. Here's some guidelines for winter fashion. Please share this with every BYU student you know.

SOMETIMES

Hats are, surprisingly, only SOMETIMES acceptable. Generally, yes. But not always. Hats are acceptable if they are

A. Presentable

B. Outdoors

When you go inside, take your hat off. What are you, a heathen?

TIP: I twist my top section of hair into a mini-bun before donning a hat to avoid "hat hair."

Also, a fedora is not a winter hat.

ALWAYS

Scarves are almost idiot proof. Indoor, outdoor, with a coat, loose, tied. They almost always improve your outfit. I love a poppy print to spice things up. Here are some of my favorite scarf picks right now.

NEVER

Please. Never ever ever.

Yes - 1, 3 and 4 were on BYU Campus. Thank you, BYUStyle friends.

Baby Meetings

Don't get excited. I'm not baby hungry. Not even in the slightest. When I am, I'm sure you'll be the first to know, because I've observed that the #1 symptom of baby hunger is excessive blogging.

Baby Meetings is the affectionate (cynical) nickname I give our new teacher trainings. I meet in Orem with all the BYU people once a month. I have observation pre- and post-conferences with my mentor or principal every 3ish weeks. Every other week there is a training on class management that we are encouraged to attend, and finally Nebo School District's noob meetings once a month.

I am not bitter about these meetings, but often just confused at why new teachers, who have more work and less time than most teachers, are required to attend these meetings that just re-teach everything we just got in college, while the older teachers don't seem to know any of that information or the strategies, but never have to attend extra meetings. I suppose it may make sense in the future. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that jazz.

Anyways. On Monday we had our baby meeting and they shared with us an article by the Santa Cruz New Teacher Project, which is studying the experience of a new teacher and how to best support them. They have found that new teachers go through 5 basic phases. I found them both depressing, relieving and accurate. My husband is probably the one who needs to learn these the most, so he knows who I'm going to be over the next few weeks...

Phase 1: Anticipation

We get all anxious and excited. We completely romanticize teaching and vow to give 110% to these bright new spirits we've been appointed to educate. (HA!!!!) The adrenaline of this phase gets you through the first month. And it's just that. Complete adrenaline rush.

Phase 2: Survival

You knew you were going to be busy, but you didn't know you'd feel like you were constantly running. I've never worked harder in my life. It's like finals week every single day (so stop whining about it on Facebook. Yeah. We've all done finals weeks. You're not special.) I was staying late, going through red pens like crazy, researching all of my curriculum because I forgot so much from college and high school, and sleeping straight through the entire weekend. Despite the craziness, most teachers maintain tons of energy and basically we're just hoping it will subside. This lasted until about Fall Break.

Phase 3: Death (Just kidding. "Disillusionment")

Two months of nonstop work and stress takes its toll, physically, mentally, all of the -llys really. We start to really question our effectiveness, our self-esteem drops somewhat dramatically, and the idea that we're not even halfway done is a pretty ominous thought. Most teachers get sick in this phase as well. I hit this in early-mid November. Thankfully I've never questioned my desire to teach. There were moments when I thought "I am the worst teacher ever. I try so hard and really can't improve. I'm THAT bad." I got sick right before Thanksgiving and it really hasn't gone all the way away. I'm still functioning at like 70% healthy, with fluctuations. I think I'm on the upswing, though, and the break is coming soon. A lot of teachers also start to lose control of their classroom management. Luckily this hasn't really happened, so I'm very grateful for that.

Phase 4: Rejuvenation

This is supposed to happen over the break. We get to rest, spend time away from school, exercise, eat better, and have some time to prepare for the upcoming semester. We're ALLEGEDLY going to come back with an acceptance of the system and stresses of teachers, and be able to see our progress instead of our failures. We come back ready to make some changes and do more long-term planning instead of flying by the seat of our pants. Again, this is a myth. (No. This really will happen. We just like to pretend like we're hopeless in our baby meetings because it's hilarious.)

Phase 5: Reflection

As May rolls around and we're wrapping up, we get to look back on the year as a whole and see it for what it is. We can make better judgments about certain lessons and units, think about what we would do differently and prepare for next year. Our mentors encourage us to try to do this in bits and pieces right now. I definitely try to. Some days I take down a page of notes about how things went and how I'm going to do it differently next year. I get excited.

That's what it's all about right? Even though this death phase has been tough, I still want to do this. I'm still excited. I still love this job. It's all worth it. And thank goodness, because I would have blown my brains out already.

To My Prospective Teacher Friends: I don't write this to freak you out. I write this so you have an accurate perception of what it's like. Unfortunately my university classes only helped like 25%. The real thing is super different. But know going into it that it's all worth it IF THIS IS YOUR THING. And if it is, it's awesome.

Mad props to the Beard for sticking with me when I'm cussing out my kids as I grade tests on the couch in my grossest pajamas, not moving for days on end, eating nothing but popcorn all day and falling asleep at 8:30 pm.

Think Outside the Box

I've never been a fan of weird singles ward things - ward prayer, dessert parties, FHE at the bishopric's house, speed dating, etc. So naturally I avoided the Munch & Mingle. I liked to lay low in a singles ward. Sure, I went. I did my Visiting Teaching (usually). I accepted and magnified callings. But I would often go to other wards, leave after sacrament and avoided activities at all costs.

When The Beard and I were dating pretty seriously in the spring, I came around more (having a boyfriend is a perfect excuse for hanging with your roommates and being antisocial). I still didn't go to activities, but when my roommate Tiffany got called to run the Munch & Mingle every week, I stuck around to support her. Bad idea.

One Sunday as I was about to grab my vegetable plate and sneak home, the fellowshipping committee guy (don't you love these made-up callings?) cornered me.

"Danica, right? Hi I'm fellowshipping guy. We have this little 'Get to know you' form that the Bishop wants everyone in the ward to fill out. I don't think we've gotten one for you yet."

Nope. You haven't. Been in the ward 6 months and almost made it out scot-free. "Oh? Hmmm. Ok..... So..... do you want me to...... fill it out? .... Now?"

"YES!" - pure exuberance as he hands me the form. I sigh and sit down. I hate stuff like this, normally. But you have to understand. At this point, The Beard and I were getting engaged in the future (I wish it had been the NEAR) and we were already planning on going to his ward's incredibly awkward Marriage Prep class (a story for another blog post). So this little survey is even more pointless. Hence, my answers

Name: Danica Anne

Age: no comment

Hometown: Diagon Alley

Current House: The Dream Palace

Major: Molding of Minds

Calling: Monday night babysitting (I was FHE mom. Also, if the Bishop doesn't already know this, I don't want to tell him!)

Favorite Color: Black. It is the most Dominant.

Favorite Food: Water.

Favorite Movie: Phantom of the Opera. (Ok, that one was real. I couldn't betray them.)

Favorite Season: Salt.

Favorite Sport: Jousting

Favorite Hobby: Sleep

I know. I'm a smart a**. But then to my surprise I see a classic "Check the Box" question at the end.

"Are you dating someone? Yes/No."

Uh.... What? Why would the Bishop need to know that? You're more likely to land in the Penalty Box? Maybe to know if we need a section of Marriage & Family Relations? I don't know. I thought that was weird and personal. BUT if it meant I didn't have to go to the stupid speed dating crap, fine by me. I checked "YES."

I handed it back and snuck out as quickly as possible, grinning to myself. Tiffany came home excited and confused. "I saw that your form was in the date box....?"

"The Date Box? What is that? No, I filled out a form for the Bishop."

"That's the Date Box."

"What in the h*ll is the Date Box?"

She preceded to explain that the Date Box is where everyone in the ward is mixed together like some depressing single-life gumbo, and people are matched together for a date. It's ridiculous. It's the lowest form of singles ward functions. I felt relieved that I had checked the box "YES." That saved me. Surely they'd take my form out. And even if they didn't, my ludicrous answers made me seem psychotic, so no one would call me anyways. Right?

Wrong.

Thursday night of that week, The Beard and I were out at my parent's house for Office Night. My phone starts ringing from an unrecognized number. I had been getting calls from schools about interviews over that entire week, so I'd just been answering everything instead of screening calls. Obviously this wasn't a Junior High calling at 8 pm on a Thursday. But I answered.

"Hi, is this Danica?"

"Uh, yeah this is she."

"Hi. This is random dude from the ward.... I pulled you out of the Date Box and I was wondering.... are you available Saturday night?"

My eyes widen and The Beard can hear everything on the other line. He starts laughing and I am taken aback.

"Oh!.... um... well...."

"You're seeing someone."

"Well, yes," I laugh, "I'm sorry! I checked the box on the form..." I trail off, mumbling and awkward.

"Oh. Ok. That's too bad. Well. Maybe some other time. Have a good night!"

Maybe some other time?! Ryan is laughing and I'm equal parts embarrassed and amused. Did he not see the checked box? Did he think it wasn't for real? Did he check my Facebook and see that I wasn't "in a relationship?" There's no way he was turned on by my love for "jousting," was he? How did this happen?

Classic. This is Provo. And I couldn't be happier to be married.

Marriage, or the Death of Dessert Parties

Marriage is awesome. Everyone knows that. But sometimes it's painfully obvious HOW awesome it is when you're thrown back into the single world.

Several weeks ago, I had to run up to campus for a meeting with my BYU Education Program peeps. Being on campus kind of made me sick. Not only was I overwhelmed with the general happy anxiety and well-intentioned stress, but the awful singleness. Also, loads of chaste sexual frustration with the opposite sex. When you're single, you don't realize how much stress your life inherently includes. You have to:

1. Look cute so you can attract someone.

2. Be smart to attract someone/keep your scholarship/appease your parents/avoid misusing your student loans.

3. Be active in the Church to attract someone/appease your parents/be a good Mormon.

4. Make a lot of friends to attract someone/be popular.

5. Learn life skills (i.e. Domestic flourish for girls) to attract someone.

6. Attend every single possible event - dessert parties, ward prayer, FHE, BYUSA activities, sporting events - of course to meet and attract someone.

There's just this intense level of optimistic stress that is absolutely exhausting. Always the anxiety of finding someone to study/eat lunch/walk home with. Always the anxiety of making weekend plans or getting another date. Always the anxiety of trying SOOOOO hard to be the cutest, coolest, most righteous (and sometimes fake-st) version of yourself. And there's that sneaky, invisible element of competition. There is no abundance mentality on a college campus.

Being on campus and walking into the library to say hi to my library peeps brought back emotions, just like hearing a song from a sad time in your life making you cry, or a song from the best night ever making you smile. I remember walking into that library annoyed, too much homework, no sleep, hungry and caffeine-deprived, anxious to get off work and meet up with The Beard. I absorbed by osmosis the stress of everyone rushing to get to class, but trying desperately to look approachable. I observed with disgust the excessive PDA of zoob couples.

After my meeting I met up with my friend Jesslyn- our last chance before she went into the MTC (Anaheim, Spanish). She lives in the Mormon Dating Epicenter, commonly referred to as "South-of-Campus." While driving to her apartment, I saw a group of kids gathering for FHE outside a complex. Girls playfully shoving guys, guys constantly readjusting their wayfarer shades and closing digits with various groups of girls. I especially liked seeing girls all dressed up in their cutest outfits (yeah. We can tell when you spent more than 10 minutes on it).

I truly do not mean to insult or offend. This is just the culture. We have all done it. I've done it. (No, I haven't.)

The Beard and I went to the BYU Football game a few weeks ago. I haven't been since I was a freshman and remembered why. It's all BYU Football zealots and freshmen. The ignorant comments and general stupidity was obnoxious. The Beard even yelled at a guy for being disrespectful towards the other team. His date was embarrassed. No awkward doorstep hug for him tonight. But the best part of the game was our newfound love - Photobombing. Freshmen LOVE taking the "myspace pic" (extending your arm up and out to capture the pic, heads together with a funny/sexy/cute face). We love messing it up. With some pretty impressive investigative work (If I do say so myself), I found THIS little beauty on a girl's non-private Facebook page.

You are welcome.

Though I live in Mapleton and don't attend classes on campus anymore, I never feel to far away thanks to my social media. Here are my favorite "Provo" accounts that help me stay close to my roots:

Mormon Girl Probs - Hilarious twitter account that is disturbingly familiar.

Provo All Star - The male counterpart for Mormon Girl Probs. And the source of all Mormon Girl Probs.

NiceTryZoob - Making fun of the "Peter" zoobs we all know and love.

Seriously, So Blessed - Blog mocking young, married Mormon girls. Horrifyingly accurate. Even if it stopped posting in January.

Seen @ BYU - Fantastic Facebook group for those who appreciate the ridiculous things around BYU.

It's fun to hate on BYU culture and the ridiculous dating world. At times it's hilarious, and at times it's incredibly frustrating. But it's all changed for me now.

The overwhelming take-away is that I'm so grateful I found The Beard. I'm so grateful that I no longer have to go out every night of the week, to every FHE (ok, I never went anyway), on every blind date and "Date Box" encounter (THAT is a great story. Maybe I'll share that one soon. You'll LOL for sure).

I don't have to stress that I'm being what someone's looking for. I don't have to kill myself adjusting my hair, makeup and clothes every day (I still do that sometimes. My choice.). I don't have to figure out who someone wants me to be. I don't have to fake it to make it. Dating is over. I have someone who accepts me for who I am, no matter what. Someone who makes me feel more ME than I've ever been. Someone who is completely happy to sit on a couch with me watching Netflix every night of the week. And that's what love is. Boring comfortable familiarity that you can't get enough of.

See ya later, dating. It's been a treat. But not really.

How to Parallel Park a Bookcart: A Secretary's Tale

Three years ago, I was a newly-graduated 18 year old, full of hope and excitement for the opportunities lying ahead of me at BYU. I decided I wanted to be more of an adult. More independent. More grown up. I decided to move out and to start applying for part-time jobs, even at the behest of my parents. I was lucky enough to get 10 or 12 interviews for jobs on campus, but nothing seemed to pan out. I was a freshman. No one will hire a freshman for a demanding secretary or receptionist position, which was exactly what I wanted. (Knowing my addiction to The Office, you can hardly be surprised.)

I still remember my interview at the LAO. I remember standing in the atrium, waiting in the chairs by the front desk, the interview with Wendy & Dave, and walking to my car thinking "Well, there's goes another interview with people who just classify me as a naive freshman." I was sitting in my room days later when Wendy called to offer me the job. I was absolutely pumped. I knew my prayers were being answered and that this job was going to be very important to who I became at BYU. And I was right.

I began at the bottom of the totem pole. I worked with Cody & Dave, both married seniors who had worked in the LAO for quite a while. From them I learned how to be professional. How to relate to adults in a work environment. How to use Google Docs and program code for Wiki sites. The best tips and tricks for the Testing Center, bookstore, and campus in general. Because of them and this job, I never felt like a true freshman. Because of them I was ahead of the campus curve. Thanks guys.

After Cody and Dave left the following April, I became #1. It is a coveted position. The AUL's (Assistant University Librarians, the administrators in my office) began to trust me. Librarians and full-time employees began to know my name. I really started to get a hang of it. The LAO became my home away from home, and I sold my soul to it. I would miss class to help with lunches and projects. I'd stay late for conferences. I would often get in trouble for working over 20 hours a week, but everyone in my office knew I was a slave and loved it. I knew I was a goner when my friends and family would ask how the library was going every time they'd see me. Embarrassing.

Last summer when I left for Wales, I was so grateful the LAO held my job for me. It might have been a deal breaker for my study abroad if they hadn't. Being gone for 6 weeks made me realize how much my life revolved around my job. All my study abroad friends new about my job and how much I loved the library. I missed the inside jokes and even wondered about how daily tasks and small projects were going back at the office. I found myself snapping hundreds of pictures of libraries and sending them to the office.

In all honesty, the best part of my time here at the LAO has been the friendships. I have formed some of the greatest friendships of my life here in this office. People I would never have been friends with otherwise. People that have impacted my life immeasurably. People I love.

• Katie. [We bonded over Michael Scott, Cocoa Bean and Las Vegas.]
• Kami. [A co-secretary, now on a mission, that became a much-needed friend and fellow Harry Potter enthusiast for Summer and Fall 2009.]
• Aremy. [An LAO Secretary legend. She is the cutest mother and wife, and I always looked up to her.]
• Paul. [My baseball buddy back in the business office, and a Royals fan. Ouch.]
• Eliesa. [BFF, and the best little designer I know. Congrats E & B! Love you!]
• Tiffany. [One of my best friends that taught me it's ok to be a little touchy-feely. :)]
• Chris. [Started as a shy little project for me, and became one of my best friends and Zombie partner in crime.]
• Laura. [The only person who understands my Star Trek jokes.]
• Jeanette. [Mini-Me and the funniest freshman I know. Look out for this girl in the Advertising program soon. She'll change the world.]
• Cassandra. [Actually not an employee of the LAO, but we'll claim her. She's our newest little buddy and we just love her.]

I'm actually falling apart emotionally as I type this and realize just how special the camaraderie in this office is. It's even better than the great relationships I built with teams I played on. And I don't know how it happened. I'm just eternally grateful that it did. These people have changed my life and made me better, and they aren't just work friendships. We will be friends forever. I know it. Even though I'm leaving, I can't wait to come visit Katie's baby, have dinner parties with E&B, congratulate Chris on his engagement and wedding, watch Jeanette take the Advertising world by storm, and hear about all the guys that come into our office just to ask Laura out.

I became who I am because of the Library Administrative Office. The technical skills I've learned have been absolutely crucial to my academic career. The social and professional skills I've learned, I'll carry with me in my personal life and in the classroom for years to come. But the memories, the most important and most valuable, I'll have forever. Cocoa Bean. Binder assembly lines. Office parties. Lemonade and Christmas punch slushies. Office supply shows. Arrested Development quoting. Treat Monday/Tuesday. Hating on Grad Studies and random librarians. Inside jokes. And especially just the daily office time, catching up and hanging out together. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Thank you LAO. Thank you HBLL. Thank you Wendy. Thank you friends. Thank you Heavenly Father for providing me this job, this opportunity and these wonderful people to color my life.

LAO Secretary for life!