A Real Hippie Wouldn't Hurt Bambi

I hope you're intrigued by that title. It's hard to believe, but it is actually relevant to my Saturday night.

On Friday one of my besties from high school - Mckensie crashed with me, and Gabi came over to hang with us. We stayed up late braiding our hair and watching puppy videos on YouTube like any other 14 year olds at a sleepover. We even played M.A.S.H. (no, we didn't.)

I slept in and read in bed until 1 pm like a really responsible adult. After breakfast and several Office episodes in my sweats The Beard talked me into showering and getting ready. (He bribed me with Target and the Library.)

Now comes the Hippie part. My bangs were not particularly cooperative. Plus Gabi had shown me a more effective way to fishtail braid my hair. The only option was this turban/bandana/wrap/headband that I originally bought to wear to Seven Peaks.

If you know me at all, you know I'm pretty much as far from a hippie as you can get. No one has and no one will ever describe my style as "Boho" or "Hippie Chic" because all of my clothes are fitted, black and not out of place at a funeral.

So it was kind of fun to wear an outfit my dad would call "hipster" and caused the Beard to look questioningly at my head. Gotta mix it up, you know?

After outfit photos and picking up my 6 items on hold at the awesome Draper Library, we were off to my second favorite weakness - Target. Those dollar bins are ALWAYS my kryptonite, but especially when they feature Star Wars items. Yahtzee.

Great day right? Going really well. Star Wars. Libraries. Outfit photos. Even a Sonic run.

Soon to be nearly ruined when I hit a deer on the way home. Now, I grew up in Mapleton so I've had my fair share of close shaves with deer. But I've never hit one. For once in my life I was not speeding, so we didn't hit him very hard. He got up and pranced away, and there was minimal damage to the plastic fender flare on my Jeep.

Traumatic damage to my emotional state, however. We're talking bawling and hyperventilating. I just felt so BAD. I didn't mean to hit you, little guy! I promise! I'm really sorry if you are bruised and sore! I hope your family took care of you and you warned all of them to stay off that winding, poorly lit road.

I'm sure the Beard was equal parts embarrassed and concerned about my reaction, but he was so good at remaining calm and reassuring. I'd have probably run into the woods to apologize to Bambi if he hadn't been there. He even took his crazy wife to the movies later to cheer her up.

Lesson Learned: if you dress like a hippie/gypsy while driving a gas guzzling SUV the universe will put you right back in your place.

Sometimes, Always, Never - Headbands

Headbands are an ingenious fashion accessory, beloved by the bad hair day, awkward-growing-hair-out-phasers, and athletes alike. However, headbands can quickly indicate your lack of style if misused.

Sometimes

Athletic headbands (labeled with soccer balls, ADIDAS, etc.) or Pre-wrap should only be worn by athletes immediately before, during or after an athletic event. If you played JV Volleyball it's time to lose that stretched out circle of sadness.

Hippie wraps or turban headbands. I only like to see these at the pool, on vacation, an event like a concert, or any outside activity. In the appropriate venue these look chic and effortless.

Always

The classic headband. Tease your hair at the crown a little to keep it from looking flat. Sweep it up into an updo for a romantic look.Throw some hot rollers in your hair for big volume and slide in a shiny headband for some serious polish. I love it.

Never

Headbands with giant flowers, poofs, feathers, etc. Also, for some unknowable reason, the girls who wear these wear them with completely straight, flat hair in a pony. Really? You're going to make the focal point of your look the giant accessory atop your head? You look like a Teletubbies character.

Bandanas. I'm never going to say these are ok. If you don't work on a construction site, lose the bandana. Simple as that.

Headbands that are braided synthetic hair meant to look like it's yours. Claire's called. They're apologizing for selling you something that is so clearly a 90's joke. Do this instead. Way cuter and easy.

The zig-zag headbands that dominated 2000-2004. I thought these were extinct but then I saw this ancient artifact on a lady at Walmart.