I have come to a horrifying conclusion: PDA is much more tolerable at the Junior High than at BYU. Why? Why is this the case? Young kids are supposed to be passionate and lack judgement. Adults are supposed to be mature and in control of their emotions. I have a few theories.
- BYU kids have never had boyfriends/girlfriends before ("I DON'T DATE NONMEMBERS...") so this new and fun kissing thing is simply irresistable.
- College kids treat campus like their home - sleeping everwhere, eating anywhere, walking around in sweats and Uggs with no shame, so why wouldn't they suck face in the SWKT quad?
- In the frenzied married culture of BYU makes having a significant other an extreme social triumph. They feel so proud and also terrified that it may be temporary, so they try their hardest to prove it to themselves and others.
- At the Junior High, the weird and nerdy kids are still afraid of the opposite sex, so they aren't the ones participating in PDA. Not the case at BYU. It tends to be ONLY the weird, unfortunate-looking kids. Shoot me in the face before I see two Engineering students clearly using tongue for the first time.
It makes me want to do this. Click it. It's the best PDA video I've ever seen.
Also, maybe we should issue some of these.
Let's lay down some groundrules, shall we?
I hate seeing people kiss in public. But now being married I guess I get it more. Smooching should only be used if you are saying goodbye for the day. It should be brief, hands-free and ONLY a peck. Also, you don't need to kiss goodbye before every class. You just don't.
Hand-holding. Only acceptable if you are walking around with your significant other. BYU students love to do this thing where they hold hands during class or while they're eating or across the table at the library. WTF? Really? Are they going to disappear the moment you stop touching them?
I have never minded the hug. I hug. I'm not a "huggy" person, but I hug. Keep it short and sweet, and it's a great way to say hello and goodbye. Hug away my friends.
Cheek smooching. I've always thought this was incredibly classy.
Also, forehead smooching. It's so sweet.
This is going to be a long list, so try to keep up.
For the love of all that is good, STOP MAKING GOOGLY EYES.
Bum-goosing. Also known as bum-cooching, spanking, squeezing. Sorry I just used all those words.
Winking. I think we can all agree we're crossing over into sex offender territory here.
Cuddling. Why are you spooning in Brigham Square? Whyyyyyyy?
Caressing in any form. This includes cheek stroking.
Did I miss any? What crazy PDA have you seen? Is UVU as bad as BYU? I sure hope not.