Monday, January 23, 2012

Why Your Parenting is Crippling Your Child, in 5 Easy Steps

The term ended a week and a half ago, but I've been bombarded almost endlessly by a few parents about their children's grades. Many are frustrated because their student received a low score on one of the big projects we had due at the end of the term.

There are several problems with that:

1. Why isn't your kid coming to talk to me? Either
A. Your kid doesn't care = your fault
B. You care way too much = your fault
C. You feel bad because you didn't pay attention to your kid's grades all term = your fault
You are teaching your kid that their grades are about you, and that you will step in and fight all their battles for them.

2. Classy move, attacking education. No, definitely plant that seed of cynicism and doubt in your 14 year old. Show by example that bad grades are the teacher's fault (OBVIOUSLY) so that they go the rest of their life shifting blame to others.

3. Wait to email me until AFTER final grades have been posted. Because the real world doesn't have deadlines, right? Nevermind that I send weekly emails home about upcoming projects and notable class events.

4. Use impersonal email to be meaner than you would be to my face to try and bully me as a new young teacher. These kids don't use enough texting/Facebook/impersonal communication as it is. You would never let your kid cyberbully, would you? But you feel no shame telling me that I am an unfair teacher, that my assignments are terrible (which, by the way, are mandated by the district, so thanks!), and that you're going to go over my head to the principal.

Too bad for you, I may be young, but I do not get bullied. Sorry. I'm still not going to give your C+ kid an A. Not to mention, Nebo School District is awesome and they have their teacher's backs.

5. Demand that I just change grades and give points, without asking why they were given/taken or requesting that your student can rework their work to make sure they actually learn the material. They shouldn't have to earn grades/points. What I'm being asked to make sure they do DOESN'T matter, after all.

In the real world, your kid won't have you to fight their battles. Are you gonna do this all through high school? What about college? Are you gonna be on a first name basis with their future boss?

In the real world, they can't just assume everything is their boss' fault.

In the real world, you miss deadlines and that window of opportunity slams shut on their privileged little fingers.

In the real world, there are big things due at the last minute that can hurt you if you don't do them correctly.

In the real world, you can't turn to a mean email to solve all your problems. You have to see your boss/coworkers every day. That's right. In person. Flesh and blood.

In the real world, if you don't do your work, it's still there waiting for you. It doesn't magically show up in your "points." Stuff needs to be done.

I don't write this because I hate you. I'm NOT a parent yet, that's true. I admire so much of what you're doing, this is just the only part that I see.

I don't write this because I hate your kid. I write this because I love your kid.

I love my job. Teaching is the greatest. I would love to do my job if you'd let me.

Can we be a team? Please?


  1. AMEN! To a great teacher!! Thank you for all you do. My daughter loves your class and I love hearing what she is learning!

  2. This is so great and so true!! I love all of it!

  3. You should send this in a reply to the parents. At the very least, you'd shift some perspectives!

  4. Yes! I agree with Hailey. Send this out with your e-mails. Also, for some reason, I feel a great deal of rage toward the parents who do or did those things. I want to fight them or throw rocks at their heads. There's a lot of violence in my heart lately. Bad news.